eh Page 173 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dallas-Area Cheerleaders Piss Team Spirit, Piss
KXAS-TV does one of those routine cheerleaders-force-other-cheerleaders-to-drink-urine stories, only this one involves some gross-out B-roll and a "bad taste in their mouth" zinger as the kicker. Kudos to the awesomely monikered reporter, Ashanti Blaize. [Fat White Guy]...
The Jason Whitlock Bobblehead Doll Is My Next Purchase
Oh, but if only it could talk. Like, you'd pull a string and it'll spew all sorts of angry, nonsensical musings on race, sexuality, sports culture and social media pick-up lines: "I c u r a tulane grad." [KCStore]...
Everyone In Rochester Is Psyched For The Frozen Four
Yes, even the roadkill. Rochester Institute of Technology's surprise appearance in the NCAA hockey semifinals has Tiger Fever sweeping through campus, and rabies sweeping through the central nervous system of whoever set this up. [via this kid's Facebook]...
Gordie Howe Once Checked The Shit Out Of An 8-Year-Old
And it just happened to be William Clay Ford Jr. Call it the Gordie Howe grand slam - a goal, an assist, a fight, and one flattened prepubescent car dynasty scion. [NY Times]...
The Steve Phillips Redemption Timeline
AOL Fanhouse hired Steve Philips as their new baseball analyst, just 161 days after the world learned he had an affair with an ESPN underling. Is that some kind of record for morphing from sexual disgrace to professional respectability?...
New Facts: Most Sports Viewers Are Republican, John Boehner Chain Smokes
According to this recent fancypants study, the majority of sports fans in this country tend to vote Republican. This explains why so many people start yelling at us when this site throws lefty....
This Is What A Young Atlanta Braves Pitcher Looks Like When He's Busted For Soliciting Imaginary Hookers
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Toni Kukoc And Derek Fisher Have Giant Penises, John Salley Says
Courtesy of John Salley, we're told that the NBA's most famous Croatian export is super-hung for a white boy and that Fisher is "six feet tall with a seven foot dick." Gentlemen, welcome to the geoduck club. [SpiderandtheHenchman]...
Deciding The Superior Hawk: Lehigh-Kansas Open Thread
Kansas lost to Bucknell the last time they played a Patriot League opponent in the opening round in Oklahoma City. Can the Mountain Hawks say "Rock Chalk this!" and pull off the historic upset? Joke about Sherron Collins' age please....
Stories That Don't Suck: Axl Rose, Hockey Goons, Cassius Bom-Ba-Ye, Dr. Z In The USSR
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....
Women's Football Leagues Justify Their Existence
The hiring of a female coach for a boys' HS football team does more to legitimize women's football (yes, even lingerie football) than a thousand Katie Hnidas....
Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat Acronym Humor
Ladies and germs, I give you Jerry Thornton of WEEI....
Fortunately, Drowning Is Only A Double Minor
Remember, Zamboni is a brand name for one specific ice resurfacing machine maker. For example, this one changes solid surfaces into liquid but it could've been manufactured by several different companies that will no longer honor the warranty. [DenverPost]...
Where Business Is Always Good
Former major leaguer and current AAA coach Richie Hebner still digs graves and drives a hearse in the offseason. Good thing he's in the Orioles organization; he can dispose of Garrett Atkins's career. [Detroit News]...
Say Goodbye To Mark McGwire Road Rage
"Driving the Mark McGwire Highway" sounds like a not-particularly-clever euphemism for a PED regimen, but St. Louisans have been doing it for a decade. Perhaps not for much longer....
Say Hey, Wait A Minute
"Above all, the story of Willie Mays reminds us of a time when the only performance-enhancing drug was joy." So sayeth the great Pete Hamill, who is proof that baseball makes even brilliant writers sound like a Wonder Years voiceover....
Even Monkeys Go To Rehab
Yes, unless this report comes from an Onion-style Russian newspaper, it appears a monkey hooked on alcohol and cigarettes has been sent to rehab. The world is a vampire. [Montreal Gazette]...
Oregon Pretty Much Imploding Before Our Very Eyes (UPDATE)
Oregon football is turning into an outlaw program right in front of us. But one Ducks senior has had just about enough of you people making a big deal of it. You "white people," he means....
Even NBCOlympics.com Hates NBC's Olympic Coverage
Reader Alex sends this screenshot from NBC's Olympics web site. Please note the Olympic Pulse at bottom, featuring a tweet from alpine skier Jake Zamansky. NBC is now punching itself in the face. [NBCOlympics.com, @jakezamansky]...
Stories That Don't Suck: Death On The Track, Ebert's Silence, NASCAR's Backlash Ethos, Bubba In Love
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....