eh Page 176 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Woody Paige Must Have Missed The Meeting
Jemele Hill graduated from "Cold Pizza" to "Around The Horn" today—her first appearance on the show—and Woody Paige wasted no time in making an inappropriate overture to her grandmother. Smooth. [Video via ESPN]...

The Don Cherry Jersey Was A Bold Choice
The Kingston Frontenacs celebrated "Military Night" by paying tribute to Don Cherry. (The jerseys are now up for auction if you would like to buy one.) The game was not televised because all the video equipment malfunctioned. [Frontenacs via Star]...

Steve Phillips Suspended After Affair With ESPN Employee
Reports out of ESPN headquarters this morning say that "Baseball Tonight" analyst Steve Phillips is on a "leave of absence," after an affair with a 22-year-old production assistant turned into a special edition DVD release of Fatal Attraction. [Updates below.]...

Cole Hamels Will Warp Your Mind
Take a good, long look at this "photo" atop Cole Hamels's official web site. Notice anything?...

Pitches, Man, Pitches
Looking toward a deep playoff run, the Yankees are trying to get their ducks in a row. That means telling the wives and girlfriends to stop being mean to Kate Hudson....

Cole Hamels Leaves Game When Wife Goes Into Labor
Hamels left with his stick-figure artist wife, Heidi, after she went into labor with their first child. Hamels had given up four runs and seven hits in five innings, laying, as if in sympathy, an enormous Game 2 egg. [ESPN]...

Marshall's AD Is Surrounded By College Girls
Until he can find permanent housing, Mike Hamrick is living in an all-female dorm wing. He's living every man's dream, except the women are all half his age. So, yeah, he's living every man's dream. [The Parthenon]...

Who <i>Really</i> Chose Rio To Host The 2016 Olympics
Naturally the New Yorker does its best to bury the lead, but there are plenty of clues in this week's cover story "Gangs of Rio" as to why the world's #1 city for "violent international deaths" won the 2016 Olympics....

A Peek Inside The Mind Of An NHL Head Coach
Spoiler....There's not much there. Maple Leafs coach Ron Wilson inadvertently gave TV viewers a look at his super-secret game notes and as Orland Kurtenblog says: "this kinda destroys the illusion that an nhl coach works on a higher level." [Kurtenblog]...

More Jerseys For Your Closet Of Awesomeness
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Hockey Player Joins Team He Was Born To Play For
This is Wheaton King of....the Brandon Wheat Kings. The story: Dad (presumably) names son after local minor league hockey team, kid grows up to play for said hockey team, heads explode. [TheScore]...

Out Of Rehab, Michael Beasley Says He's Supercool Once More
Beasley just finished up a monthlong stint at a substance-abuse center in Houston and announced that he had moved on from weed, Twitter and adolescence in general. Whether any of those things actually constituted a problem, however, is still unclear....

If You Were Worried Kimbo Slice Wouldn't Have Anyone To Beat Up, Relax
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Teams Giving Refunds For Poor Play Could Bankrupt American Sports
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Yankees Not Clear On The Concept Of "Hazing"
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

You Are Now Officially Less Of A Man
This woman took down an 11-foot alligator with a crossbow. I can only assume she proceeded to tear its still-beating heart out of its chest with her teeth. [LA Times]...

Welcome Letter
Awwww shit, y'all – get out your slide rules and hide your daughters, because the bad boys of the internet are back! FJM in the motherhumping hizzzzzzzyyyyyyyyyyy!...

The Jehovah's Witnesses Are Unhappy With Fellow Witness Serena Williams
"Furthering the teaching that Judgments are only for those outside the Organization, Serena Williams threatened a line judge with a dose of Jehovah's Witness authority yesterday. Her comments were blasphemous, having been used in connection with 'God.'" [Jehovahs-Witness.net]...

Orlando Brown Allegedly Leaves His Ex-Wife Something To Remember Him By
Najeh "Deuce" Davenport was crowned the king of unlawful defecation after he took a dump in his girlfriend's laundry basket back in 2002. Now it appears the plunger has been passed to Orlando Brown, a man of even greater fiber....

Love And Football. The Return Of The Jamboroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find links to more of Drew's stuff at his Twitter feed....