eh Page 180 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Mark Buehrle's Truck Will Cause Ice Caps To Melt
One alert emailer sent along this photo of the White Sox hurler gassing up his famously scary truck constructed by demonic gorilla robots from some dusty holocaust netherworld....

Pirates Tour White House, For Some Reason; Skipper Pulls A Reverse Harrison
"Pirates' manager John Russell skipped the tour saying he'd rather visit when he has a World Series ring on his finger." [KDKA]...

The Sordid Life Of Clippers Owner Donald Sterling
Just in time for the lottery, ESPN The Magazine has a look-see at the walking abomination known as Donald Sterling, Clippers owner and a man of discerning taste. Dislikes: blacks, Mexicans, children. Likes: Koreans, blowjobs....

Vince Young Do What Vince Young Do
Young, as you remember, is close to getting permanently doghoused by Jeff Fisher (if it hasn't happened already) and has worried teammates, family members, and NFL execs with his wacky manic-depressive behavior and disenchantment with football. (CUT TO Whitlock: Toldja!)...

Never Try To Steal A Car From Najeh Davenport
If you see a car parked on the street with the engine running, you'd probably be tempted to jump in and take a ride. Just make sure it doesn't belong to Najeh Davenport, because he will chase your ass down....

A-Rod, Kate Hudson: Neckin'
Was this in the Selena Roberts book? Regardless, according to Page Six's much more reliable anonymous sources, A-Rod and the former Mrs. Chris Robinson are officially doing it....

James Harrison Snubs Obama, America
The Steelers' Silverback linebacker has caused many sports fans and journalists to gasp and mutter "you dumb bastard" under their breath after he scoffed at the White House invite....

Bills' Hall-of-Famer Bruce Smith Charged With DUI
All Bills' bad behaviour, all the time! The all-time sacks leader was pulled over and arrested early Friday in Virginia Beach, Virginia....

Bills' Fullback Arrested on Charge of Exposing Sexual Organs
Urgent bulletin! New York City's public masturbation epidemic is spreading Northwards across the state!...

Wait ... Michael <i>Irvin</i> Is A Stand Up Guy?
Cowboys scouting assistant Rich Behm is still recovering from the "building" collapse that paralyzed him two weeks ago, but Michael Irvin of all people has swooped in to help out....

Delaware State Forfeits Conference Game So They Can Beat Michigan Instead
A scheduling conflict has forced Delaware State to choose between a home against North Carolina A&T or a road game at Michigan. Guess how that turned out....

CBS Golf Analyst David Feherty Has Predictably Enraged People With His Fantastical Column About Shooting Nancy Pelosi
Feherty's column appeared in "D Magazine" and has already been eviscerated by the media mob. Is he a loser?[HuffPo]...

One Cowboys' Scouting Assistant Paralyzed Due To Practice Facility Collapse
Two other staffers also required surgery to mend their broken body parts. Jerry Jones was reported to be "somber" after hearing the news. [AP/LA Times]...

Hawks Radio Announcers Might Be Biased Against Dwayne Wade
Things got a little chippy during Atlanta's 106-91 mugging of Miami, but that seemed okay with the Hawks radio crews—as long as "the great Dwayne Wade" was on the receiving end of the rough stuff....

Someone Got A Hit Off Of Stephen Strasburg? What?
The pitcher who's going to have major league teams tanking games by July gave up a three-run homer and threw 121 pitches on Friday, but don't worry folks, he still won....

White Guys...Activate!
Bernhard Langer's putt-making ability is much better than his awkward attempt at a chest-bump immediately after he made it. Tom Lehman is equally culpable, but at least his intentions were good. [PGA Tour.com]...

Throwback Uniforms That Will Possibly Make You Want To Throw Up
If there's one thing that history has taught us, it's that mustard yellow and brown are excellent choices for professional sports uniform colors. See, this is why I miss you, American Football League....

The Myth Of Lenny Dykstra Completely Unravels
ESPN's Mike Fish punctures the final holes into Lenny Dykstra's supposed financial genius with swift, purposeful blows. Hopefully, this is the last we'll hear about Dykstra for a long, long time....

You Are The Falcon, And I Shall Remain...
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Umpire Kerwin Danley May Need Stronger Head Gear
Kerwin Danley was carted off the field last night after getting hit in the head with a broken bat—almost a year to the day since he was plunked in face by a Brad Penny fastball....