eh Page 185 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Score Along At Home With The 82-0 Women's Hockey Game
So if you needed video evidence to believe that Slovakia beat Bulgaria 82-0 in a women's Winter Olympics qualification tournament recently — and I don't blame you if you do — here it is. Contrary to what you probably thought, the Bulgarians can actually skate. Although figuring out what those sti...

Who Are Hugh?
I'm relatively new to the Hugh. I'm meeting Mr. Johnson for the first time today and hoping he'll be gentle. Clearly, Cal has not recovered from the loss of DeSean "Obama" Jackson and finds themselves trailing Maryland early. In the annual battle of teams that traditionally suck the most, Temple and...

Dickie V Steals the Show at the Basketball HOF Inductions
Hakeem Olajuwon, Patrick Ewing (really Patrick? shorts? did you forget to pick up your dry-cleaning?) and Pat Riley were inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame last night, along with their classmate Dick Vitale. Dickie V was, as usual, the star of the show. His passionate speech reminded everyone...

Levi Johnston's Demon Hockey Seed Complicates Matters For GOP
John McCain's unpredictably odd but glamorous-looking choice for Vice President dazzled the media on Friday, but the case for Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin isn't looking as crafty a decision anymore. Most of the controversy stems from Palin's 17-year-old daughter, Bristol, tiny eskimo in the ovenand the ...
![Pre-Draft Fantasy Update: Fred Taylor To Split Carries, Arrested [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18s6bmaogsulyjpg.jpg)
Pre-Draft Fantasy Update: Fred Taylor To Split Carries, Arrested [UPDATED]
It's stories like this that give the phrase "arrested at 4 a.m. outside a South Beach Club" a bad name. Miami Beach police charged Jacksonville Jaguars running back Fred Taylor with disorderly conduct yesterday outside the awesomely named "Club Cristal". Taylor wasn't jailed, but instead pinky-swore...

Utes and Young Manhood
Nice storyline from today's Michigan/Utah game: Paul Kruger, victim of a vicious stabbing earlier this year, is playing for the Utes. Utah's starting defensive end, along with his younger brother Dave and teammate Greg Newman, were attacked back in January by a group of unknown tough guys outside a ...

Aye Carumba! Chad Johnson Changes Last Name To Ocho Cinco
So Bengals wideout Chad Johnson has legally changed his name to "Chad Javon Ocho Cinco." Which I guess is only slightly better than "Chad Javon GoldenPalace.com." Chad expects to play in the Bengals' season opener, despite suffering a dislocated shoulder in the preseason and creating more needlework...


And This Little Piggy Smashed Your Face In
We've been irritated a time or six by a game official that felt they were as important to the proceedings as the participants themselves. We always had the urge to do something about them to return equilibrium to the event. However, we never got further than drafting a formal complaint and then for...

Titans Haze Injured Rookies By Taping Them to Goalpost, Covering Them In Food
It's good to see that NFL hazing will never die. At least not until someone tears an ACL or suffocates while taped to a goal post. The Titans held their annual dizzy bat race for the healthy players. But they reserved their true scorn for the players who were too injured to participate in the dizzy...

Tell Me How My Sass Tastes: Woman Gets Restraining Order Against Shaq For "Stalking"
Just as things started looking up for Shaquille O'Neal (a rejuvenation of his NBA career in Phoenix, a rejuvenation of his rap career, making up with his estranged wife) he might be in store for some troubling times due to the allegations of one Atlanta-based lady who claims The Diesel is "stalking ...

IOC Finally Launches Investigation Into Chinese Gymnasts Thanks To "Stryde Hax"
It appears the U.S. women's gymnastics team may actually get their coveted gold medals if an IOC investigation into the ages of the Chinese gymnastics team proves the little demons weren't all 16 years of age. After initially dodging all the questions, the findings of one U.S.-based blogger named St...

You Taste Of America, Jason Lezak
There's no better motivation for an American in the Olympics than Frenchy getting in your face and predicting victory. "I will let you go, Ricky. But first, I want you to say ... 'I love crepes.' " Jason Lezak outsprinted Alain Bernard of France in the anchor leg as the U.S. men — Michael Phelps, Ga...

Gourmet Spud's Thursday Afternoon CFL D###-Joke Free Jambor-eh
Drew Magary is off this week on a well-deserved, court-ordered "vacation". Filling in for Deadspin's juggernaut featured columnist is Gourmet "Who?" Spud, one of Deadspin's new weekend swing editors, a frequent commentor, and 1/4 of the team over at Food Court Lunch. He also helped your grandmother...

Are You Offended By ESPN?
That's the question posed by MarketWatch columnist Jon Friedman, who gives the WWL a thorough Bissingering based on the recent "lowbrow or boorish behavior" of some of ESPN's talent. Specifically, the incidents involving Jemele Hill, Dana Jacobson, and Bonnie Bernstein, respectively. Friedman's piec...

Hey Kids! Look Who's Back!
Has it really been two years since Harold Reynolds was jettisoned from the ESPN Star Destroyer? It's been a long, strange trip over that span — including many skirmishes with the WWL, and a coveted Deadspin SHOTY nomination with us — but now our man is finally back on national TV. TBS brought him on...

Track And Field Trials Not Shy About Producing Funny Headlines
Well met, ESPN copy editors. Yesterday, we got a "brilliant burst" of a running Hooker and today we get a Gay in heat. So salacious, these running trials. Jesuth Chritht!...

Hooker Gives Herself A Happy Ending
A few commenters in the Marshawn post drew my attention to this lovely headline currently appearing on tWWL's site. It's funny because hookers only usually run from cops, Patrick Bateman and the angry pack of dogs on my estate. They're bred specifically for their hooker-killing prowess....

Who's Sorry Now? ESPN Columnist Edition
I wanted the final Who's Sorry Now? post during Will's tenure to be a memorable one, and this one's a doozy. Jemele Hill's latest column over at the Page Dos includes the phrase "I'm sorry," not once, but three times ... plus dozens of other variations of the term sprinkled throughout. It's a mea cu...