eh Page 97 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

White Sox Attempt To Impress Bryce Harper By Introducing Him To Cleveland Indians Legend Jim Thome
The offseason recruitment of marquee free agent Bryce Harper by the handful of MLB teams that are actually trying to be good has begun in earnest, and Jeff Passan has a report detailing a few teams’ strategies for enticing the 26-year-old former MVP. It’s going to take a shitload of money to sign Ha...

Red Sox Will Visit White House
Because this is now a legitimate question after every championship, it was news Monday night when the Boston Red Sox announced they have accepted an invitation to visit President Trump at the White House. When it is and who will attend are still up in the air—J.D. Martinez must be psyched, but you c...

This Is Too Many Stuffed Toys
I liked stuffed toys. I had a bunch when I was little and despite being 35, I still have Doggy—a stuffed toy that is older than I am, and which is missing its nose and one eye, and also may actually be a rabbit. I had to learn to sew to re-attach Doggy’s head recently....

Here Is a Truly Putrid Basketball Sequence
The Bucks lost to the Hornets yesterday, thanks largely to the following sequence in which they missed what feels like 15 shots in what feels like five seconds. There’s no one standout here, as every single Milwaukee player’s ability to trip over himself is remarkable and laudable; a special note of...

One Khris Middleton Shot Blocked By 60 Percent Of Hornets Lineup
One pretty sure sign that you’ve chosen a bad shot is when it is stuffed back in your face by a defender. Khris Middleton is having an excellent season for the Milwaukee Bucks, but if your shot is blocked by three different defenders, probably you owe your teammates a sincere apology. ...

Old Tony Parker Stepped In And Gave Kemba Walker A Break, And It Ruled
Two minutes and seven seconds remained on the clock in last night’s Celtics-Hornets game, and Kemba Walker was tired. He had every right to be: To that point, he’d scored 40 points—18 in the fourth quarter alone—in just under 37 minutes of playing time. And these were not ordinary minutes, but rathe...

I Hope Kemba Walker Joins A Good Team
Sometimes a losing performance is so searingly good that even the cheeseball who sunk the game-winner has to immediately pay his dues. “I will say, Kemba gave me 60 tonight. I will have to say that one,” said Jimmy Butler, who was tasked with shutting down Walker for much of Saturday night, minutes ...

Former ESPN President John Skipper Has Teamed Up With Disgraced Former Fox Sports Exec Jamie Horowitz
Here’s an interesting tidbit from Sports Business Journal’s Eric Fisher, who was at the MLB owners’ meeting in Atlanta last night....

Jrue Holiday Will Punish You For Worrying About Anthony Davis
The Toronto Raptors came into last night’s home game against the New Orleans Pelicans as the hottest team in the NBA, with a league-best 12-1 record and on a six-game winning streak. They had third-best offense and eighth-best defense in the league, and have done all this with Kawhi Leonard already ...

NFL Fines Michael Thomas Like Joe Horn For Celebrating Like Joe Horn
After NFL officials saw Michael Thomas celebrate a touchdown with a flip phone just like Joe Horn did in 2003, the league decided to fine Thomas like they did Horn in 2003. The current Saints receiver got hit with a $30,000 fine for using the phone as a prop and having a mobile device on the bench i...

The Bryce Harper Derby Is Officially Off And Running
Oooh, buddy, you’d better take care and keep your kids well back, because though it’s barely November, the stove is on and it is one hot fucking stove....

Michael Thomas’s Cell Phone Celebration Was Cool, No Matter What The Announcers Said
It was a great game. The Saints scored 35 first-half points, with Drew Brees throwing for three scores. Jared Goff led the Rams all the way back from a 21-point deficit to tie things up in the fourth. Then, late in the fourth quarter, the Saints had the ball in their own territory leading by just th...

Michael Thomas Pays Homage To Joe Horn With Flip Phone Touchdown Celebration
Michael Thomas caught a 72-yard touchdown to give the Saints a double-digit lead with under four minutes to play against the undefeated Los Angeles Rams. But things got better for New Orleans: Thomas celebrated the touchdown by recreating the Joe Horn touchdown cell phone celebration from 2003. A to...

MMA Fighter Knocks Out Opponent With Vicious Spinning Elbow
If you weren’t watching the EFC 75 event that took place in Cape Town, South Africa, you missed out on a potential knockout of the year candidate. Just 70 seconds into the first round of the fight, Mzwandile “Shakebone” Hlongwa knocked the lights out of his opponent Torbjorn Madsen with a spinning e...

The Winter Of Mega-Stars Unexpectedly But Heart-Warmingly Staying With Their Original Teams Begins With Clayton Kershaw Re-Signing With The Dodgers
Clayton Kershaw’s velocity may be trending in the wrong direction, but he’s still a damn ace, and as such he was considered one of the huge targets in what many have expected to be a landscape-altering winter of baseball mega-stars chasing the free-agency big bucks to new towns and new teams. Not so...

Iowa's Mascot Got Rocked In The Beans By An Errant Pass
Saturday’s visit to Penn State started a lot better than it finished for the Iowa Hawkeyes. It ended with a 30-24 defeat and a stumble back into the pack in the Big Ten West standings, but it started with a first quarter that featured a blocked punt that became a safety, a fantastic touchdown pass t...

Jaguars Players Arrested, Released After "Misunderstanding" Over $64,000 London Bar Tab
Four Jacksonville Jaguars players were detained, and three were arrested, after they ran up a tab of £50,000 ($64,000 U.S.) at a London club that “features burlesque and circus performers” early Saturday morning, according to the UK’s Sun newspaper. All four were released after the tab was settled,...

Walker Buehler Is A Goddamn Stud
Max Muncy might have been the hero for the Dodgers in the marathon that was Game 3 of the World Series, but rookie pitcher Walker Buehler was the real star. The 24-year-old showed on Friday that he’s ready to be the next great Los Angeles postseason hero in his seven-inning shutout performance....

There’s Gonna Be A Live Deadcast Party In Nashville And Y’all Are Invited!
NASHVILLE! MUSIC CITY! THE ATHENS OF THE SOUTH! HOTCHICKENTOWN! VANDYLAND! CUTLERVILLE! Y’ALLBANY! Nashville, we have never visited your fair city, but that shit is about to change, because we’re gonna do a live show and football watch party down there on November 5th! YEEEEEEEEEEHAW! YEE TO THE HAW...

Jim Boeheim To LeBron James: I Am Not Big Mad
Syracuse head men’s basketball coach Jim Boeheim is a known grump who has never been shy about disparaging members of the unpaid labor force that subsidizes his massive salary. You can understand, then, why someone might have taken this quote, about former Syracuse signee Darius Bazley forgoing coll...