eh Page 97 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Browns Are Respectable, And That's Already A Major Achievement
The Cleveland Browns have not had a winning season since 2007. The closest they’ve been to .500 was a 7-9 campaign in 2014, and that becomes even sadder with the reminder that those Browns, under then-head coach Mike Pettine, had squandered a 7-4 start to get there. (He was fired after his second se...
Get To Know The Vermin In And Around Your Stadium Food
A rumbling gut is probably enough to inform you that stadium concessions stands can really mess you up, but now you can check your gastrointestinal intuition against an ESPN survey of health violations at pro football, basketball, baseball, and hockey venues....
Imagine Your Boss Is Michael Jordan, And Imagine He's Angry Enough To Hit You
The Hornets came back from a 12-point second-half deficit to topple the Detroit Pistons Wednesday night, by the score of 108–107. The ending was dramatic: the Hornets went on a 13–0 run to go from down 101-91 with about six minutes on the clock to up 104-101 with 47 seconds left in regulation. The ...
All The Writers You See In Deadspin Videos Are Actually Me In A Green Screen Suit
You are all living a lie. None of these stupid videos are real. David Roth’s plaid shirts? Not real. Barry Petchesky’s gag reflex while eating 50 eggs? Not real. Dan McQuade and Dom Cosentino talking about football under studio lights every week? I start to question how real that is as soon as I fin...
Nationals Somehow Add New Layers Of Humiliation To Loss Of Bryce Harper
The Nationals have historically acquitted themselves far better in free agency than their fellow DC professional sports teams, at least two of whom are excruciatingly awful at signing players. But in their hurry to announce their franchise-altering failure to retain Bryce Harper, they appear to have...
Northern Michigan Ices Game Against Rivals With First Goalie Goal In Program History
With less than two minutes left in regulation, the Michigan Tech Huskies pulled their goalie as they attempted to chip away at what was then a 4-2 deficit against their rivals: the Northern Michigan Wildcats. This move gave NMU goaltender Atte Tolvanen the window he needed to make history. Less than...
The Kid Who Previously Lived Near Akron Has Returned
Today, Adrian Wojnarowski reported that the Cleveland Cavaliers and Milwaukee Bucks will be swapping some junk in boxes from their respective garages. The trade is centered around guard George Hill, who’s shooting 46.4 percent from three and could be useful to Milwaukee, but the real draw here is A...
Nationals Owner Mark Lerner On Bryce Harper: "I Really Don't Expect Him To Come Back"
The Bryce Harper free agency sweepstakes are underway, and the Nationals seem to already know where they stand in the race. Their offer to Harper, which was first reported last month, is somewhere in the range of 10 years and $300 million. That is probably less than other interested parties will pu...
George H.W. Bush Happily Watching From Heaven As Houston Gets XFL Team, Says Dope<em></em>
In a press conference on Tuesday afternoon, commissioner and chief executive of the XFL Oliver Luck announced the eight cities and venues that would serve as home sites for the league’s inaugural season in 2020: Dallas (Globe Life Park), Houston (TDECU Stadium), Los Angeles (StubHub Center), New Yor...
White Sox Attempt To Impress Bryce Harper By Introducing Him To Cleveland Indians Legend Jim Thome
The offseason recruitment of marquee free agent Bryce Harper by the handful of MLB teams that are actually trying to be good has begun in earnest, and Jeff Passan has a report detailing a few teams’ strategies for enticing the 26-year-old former MVP. It’s going to take a shitload of money to sign Ha...
Red Sox Will Visit White House
Because this is now a legitimate question after every championship, it was news Monday night when the Boston Red Sox announced they have accepted an invitation to visit President Trump at the White House. When it is and who will attend are still up in the air—J.D. Martinez must be psyched, but you c...
This Is Too Many Stuffed Toys
I liked stuffed toys. I had a bunch when I was little and despite being 35, I still have Doggy—a stuffed toy that is older than I am, and which is missing its nose and one eye, and also may actually be a rabbit. I had to learn to sew to re-attach Doggy’s head recently....
Here Is a Truly Putrid Basketball Sequence
The Bucks lost to the Hornets yesterday, thanks largely to the following sequence in which they missed what feels like 15 shots in what feels like five seconds. There’s no one standout here, as every single Milwaukee player’s ability to trip over himself is remarkable and laudable; a special note of...
One Khris Middleton Shot Blocked By 60 Percent Of Hornets Lineup
One pretty sure sign that you’ve chosen a bad shot is when it is stuffed back in your face by a defender. Khris Middleton is having an excellent season for the Milwaukee Bucks, but if your shot is blocked by three different defenders, probably you owe your teammates a sincere apology. ...
Old Tony Parker Stepped In And Gave Kemba Walker A Break, And It Ruled
Two minutes and seven seconds remained on the clock in last night’s Celtics-Hornets game, and Kemba Walker was tired. He had every right to be: To that point, he’d scored 40 points—18 in the fourth quarter alone—in just under 37 minutes of playing time. And these were not ordinary minutes, but rathe...
I Hope Kemba Walker Joins A Good Team
Sometimes a losing performance is so searingly good that even the cheeseball who sunk the game-winner has to immediately pay his dues. “I will say, Kemba gave me 60 tonight. I will have to say that one,” said Jimmy Butler, who was tasked with shutting down Walker for much of Saturday night, minutes ...
Former ESPN President John Skipper Has Teamed Up With Disgraced Former Fox Sports Exec Jamie Horowitz
Here’s an interesting tidbit from Sports Business Journal’s Eric Fisher, who was at the MLB owners’ meeting in Atlanta last night....
Jrue Holiday Will Punish You For Worrying About Anthony Davis
The Toronto Raptors came into last night’s home game against the New Orleans Pelicans as the hottest team in the NBA, with a league-best 12-1 record and on a six-game winning streak. They had third-best offense and eighth-best defense in the league, and have done all this with Kawhi Leonard already ...
NFL Fines Michael Thomas Like Joe Horn For Celebrating Like Joe Horn
After NFL officials saw Michael Thomas celebrate a touchdown with a flip phone just like Joe Horn did in 2003, the league decided to fine Thomas like they did Horn in 2003. The current Saints receiver got hit with a $30,000 fine for using the phone as a prop and having a mobile device on the bench i...
The Bryce Harper Derby Is Officially Off And Running
Oooh, buddy, you’d better take care and keep your kids well back, because though it’s barely November, the stove is on and it is one hot fucking stove....