election-2016 Page 1 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Year In Ted Cruz Humiliations
There’s never exactly a good time to be Ted Cruz. His mannerisms are stilted, his friends are nonexistent, and he has far more skin than any one human should ever possess. There are, however, less-bad times to be Ted. And 2016 was not one of those years....
Is This What We Want?
Ultimately, we are the ones who decide what we will demand from the people we put into power. Which is why we will always get what we deserve. ...
Who Lost The White House?
After a long, ugly, and immensely stupid presidential election, a modest plurality of a little more than half of voting-age Americans voted to make a deeply loathed avatar of the despised political establishment the next President of the United States. Unfortunately, they were improperly geographica...
How To Talk To Your Shithead Liberal Nephew Over The Holidays<em></em>
Congratulations! You won the election. Not you, specifically—unless you’re reading this, Mr. Trump, which, now that your name is in it, you probably are—but your people: Real American Men, where “real” means over 45 and white, “American” means suburban- or rural-residing, and “men” means what it use...
Gregg Popovich Blasts Donald Trump's Election In Lengthy Monologue: "We Are Rome"<em></em>
Spurs coach Gregg Popovich, who has long given well-thought-out responses to a host of social and political issues, spent six minutes of his press conference before tonight’s game against the Pistons harshly criticizing President-elect Donald Trump, and the fact that people voted for him after the c...
<i>Inside The NBA</i> Crew Talks Politics; EJ Wrote In John Kasich
Instead of previewing the upcoming game between the Heat and the Bulls, the hosts of Inside The NBA instead spoke for a solid 10 minutes about the election of Donald Trump and how they felt a day removed from it. None of the panel supported Trump, but everyone urged their fellow disaffected citizens...
The Only Thing That Makes The Media Better Is Diversity
Donald Trump won, and the media is grasping for answers as to why we didn’t predict it. Already, you can see the seeds of many bad solutions forming. ...
Fuck Everything And Blame Everyone
Blame white people. Blame white men in particular, but reserve plenty of blame for white women. Blame old people, too. Blame rich people, as always. Blame the public at large for Donald fucking Trump getting more votes than Donald Duck. Democracy enacts the will of the public; this is what the publi...
Donald Trump's Victory Speech: "I Am Reaching Out To You For Your Guidance And Your Help"
Donald Trump claimed victory tonight from New York City in a speech that featured the presumptive president-elect stating that his road to the presidency was “not a campaign, but a movement.” An uncorrected transcript from closed captioning follows:...
AP: Donald Trump Will Be The President Of The United States Of America
Today Americans selected Donald Trump—a white-supremacist sexual predator with open contempt for the rule of law, who campaigned on promises to remove First Amendment protections from journalists, punish women who receive abortions, ban Muslims from entering the country, prosecute his opponent, depo...
CNN's Van Jones: "This Was A White-lash Against A Changing Country"
CNN commentator Van Jones took to the airwaves well past midnight on election night and talked openly about the fear many were feeling, as well as the growing sentiment that this was a “white-lash” after eight years of having a black man as president. ...
Chris Matthews: John F. Kennedy Would Go Watch Porn Instead Of Election Results
While the first wave of election results was coming into the MSNBC studios, Chris Matthews regaled viewers with an anecdote about presidential horniness. Matthews was discussing political officials who preferred not to watch the news and keep track of election results, including his former boss Tip ...
Welcome to Deadspin's Rigged Voter Fraud 2016 Liveblog
After 317 primary debates, far too many GOP candidates, countless repetitions of the word “email,” and one Billy Bush downfall, we have finally made it. My friends, in just a few hours, this godforsaken presidential election will be over....
Guess Who Got His Twitter Account Back
Much to our dismay, the final days of the election brought news that famed Twitter personality Donald Trump had his account confiscated as part of his staff’s last-ditch effort to maintain some degree of dignity. But you cannot maintain that which was never there. And now, our prayers seem to have b...
Donald Trump Uses <i>Fox & Friends</i> Appearance To Burn Tiffany Trump One Last Time
Earlier this morning, Donald Trump stopped by one of his favorite cable TV haunts, Fox & Friends, for one last campaign call-in. Also on the docket: Burning his very own daughter. ...
![Trump Claims Tom Brady Endorsement; Recites Glowing Letter He Says Bill Belichick Sent Him [Updates]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/tc8wflg4ejukktxfhvre.jpg)
Trump Claims Tom Brady Endorsement; Recites Glowing Letter He Says Bill Belichick Sent Him [Updates]
At a rally in Manchester, New Hampshire this evening, empty gas station salami wrapper Donald Trump revealed the endorsements of a pair of New England Patriots heroes. Tom Brady and Bill Belichick purportedly told the future former candidate for president that they’d vote for him, and Trump even rea...
Curt Schilling, World Series Hero, Wants Me Dead<em></em>
Curt Schilling, noted opinion-haver and former baseball star, is no fan of journalists. Never mind that he, uh, works for a media company and used to be employed by ESPN, Curt will not pass up an opportunity to rip the LIBERAL MEDIA. To him, advocating that journalists should be hanged from trees is...
Found That Photo For You, Laura
Last year, former Deal Or No Deal model Laura Shields tweeted “I need to find that one pic I have of pinching Trump’s bottom.” We’ve got your photo, Laura—and a few others from the night in 2007 the GOP candidate celebrated his birthday with models in Atlantic City in, we’re told, the absence of his...