eli Page 105 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Today, Media Members Decided Whether The Pelicans Will Pay Anthony Davis $24 Million
Today is the deadline for the couple hundred NBA reporters and broadcasters to submit their awards ballots. Some of their decisions—Steph Curry for MVP, Karl-Anthony Towns for Rookie of the Year—are quite easy, and others—Coach of the Year, All-Defensive Team—are not. But none is more interesting th...
Sixers Win Game, Make History
The Philadelphia 76ers—a misshapen experiment in gaming the NBA Draft lottery, who, weirdly enough, play actual basketball games—won their tenth game of the season tonight. Pity the poor Pelicans, who came into the year as a sexy pick to win 50 games, but had to stand by as Carl Landry (who had 22 p...
Felix Hernandez's Loss Was One Of The Weirdest In Baseball History
Felix Hernandez is one of the best pitchers working today, and until this afternoon, he’d never lost an Opening Day start. Thanks in part to the King’s dominance over the past half-decade, the Mariners had a chance to become the first team since the 19th century to win ten straight openers. But the ...
Bad Soccer Man Gets Sent Off For Mushing His Own Teammate
What was it with shoving your buddies this weekend? You’re supposed to be brothers, goddammit!...
The Silicon Valley Guys Who Turned Around The Warriors Don't Believe In Their Ridiculous Luck
Friday night, in the third quarter of a home game against the Boston Celtics, Steph Curry started throwing up threes with no more trouble than a drunk trying to fall onto a sofa. Six for six he was, the kind of eruption that literally changes the dimensions of the game: He buried one trey from just ...
The Definitive Opinion on Basketball Players Wearing Short Shorts
A gentleman named Chase emailed in to Jezspin Day because he REALLY wants to know what us ladyfolk think of the new short shorts that basketball men are sporting these days. Chase, this sports blog is for you....
Colin Kaepernick, Like Therese Belivet, to Consider Major Career Change
There comes a time in the lifespan of a job that an employee is offered a new opportunity elsewhere. Reasons for taking (or not taking) the other job are many—not to mention deeply personal—and the decision, once made, has the ability to change the trajectory of life, as well as all the lives in its...
Here Is Your Ultimate Sports Party Pump-Up Mix to Get You Very Hype
The Jezebel staff is very excited to join you all today, which is a great day for sports—all sports. We love sports!...
3 Soccer Guys Try One-Upping Each Other With Horrible Gaffes; 2nd Guy Wins Easily
When you see why Quilmes’s Daniel Imperiale is all hunched over looking like he’s about to puke from embarrassment, you’ll understand how his display of complete ineptitude overshadowed the two blunders that sandwiched it. Who knew ten seconds was enough for three players in a row to shit themselves...
Thinkfluence Man Pretends To Think Empathy Is Bad
“Against Empathy” makes a hell of a title for a video. It’s bold and spicy! Empathy is bad is quite a strong take, after all, given that empathy—broadly speaking, the capacity to relate to and share the feelings and perspectives of others—is a core, defining trait of humanity, which will tend to be ...
Anthony Davis Says He's Been Playing Hurt For Three Years
The New Orleans Pelicans announced yesterday that Anthony Davis will miss the remainder of the season, and will have surgeries to repair an injured knee and a torn labrum in his shoulder. During a session with reporters today, Davis revealed that he’s been playing with the torn labrum for three year...
<i>The Portable Veblen </i>Mixes Uneasy Marital Comedy With Psychic Squirrels, As One Does
Thorstein Veblen was a Norwegian-American writer and economist famous for decrying conspicuous consumption, getting run out of teaching jobs at Stanford and the University of Chicago in the early 1900s, and cataloging the psychological trauma of capitalism. All of which makes him a rather strange na...
Damian Lillard Has The Best Response To Kendrick Perkins Trying To Decapitate Him
While the crazy-as-hell first round of the NCAA Tournament was finishing up, there were a bunch of NBA games on last night. I know! I’m surprised too! In one of them, the Blazers played the sad sack Pelicans, and in the fourth quarter, Kendrick Perkins tried to pop Damian Lillard’s head off....
Raw Milk Is For Idiots
Some very stupid lawmakers in West Virginia are sick, presumably with the shits. They lifted the state’s ban on raw, unpasteurized milk a few weeks ago, then drank some raw, unpasteurized milk to celebrate, and, well, they are feeling bad lately. This seems an opportune moment to point out that actu...
Falcons Apologize For Asking Combine Prospect If He Likes Men
This morning Ohio State CB Eli Apple, who’s projected to go mid-first round in next month’s draft, appeared on Comcast SportsNet in Philadelphia and revealed the strangest question he’d been asked at the NFL scouting combine. Turns out, the strangest question he got was also the first....
Kevin Garnett Tells Eric Gordon Exactly What He Thinks Of Him
Kevin Garnett may not have been fit enough to play in Saturday’s game against the Pelicans, but he still came to arena ready to talk some shit. That’s because KG is always ready to talk some shit....