eli Page 107 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Some Theories About Bill Belichick's Mysterious Black Eye
Patriots head coach Bill Belichick showed up to his press conference this morning sporting a shiner above his left eye. He didn’t bother to explain how he got it, so we’ve come up with a few educated guesses....
Once Again, God Bless Evan Turner, Who Is Never Not Feeling Himself
It’s high time we checked in on Celtics guard Evan Turner, a perfectly mediocre basketball player whose self-absorption is so steadfast and unconvincing that it’s impossible not to find endearing....
Tom Coughlin Makes Eli Manning Tear Up, Owns John Mara, Rides Off Into The Sunset
Tom Coughlin, who stepped down as head coach of the New York Giants Monday, said his goodbyes at a press conference today. The 69-year-old said that regardless of the changes, he had full faith that quarterback Eli Manning would adapt. “He’s done it before, he’ll handle it again,” Coughlin said....
Those Jamokes In Oregon Aren't Terrorists, They're Jamokes
The American political lexicon has an appropriate word for the armed men conspicuously loitering in part of Oregon’s Malheur National Wildlife Refuge instead of going home. It is not terrorist or militia or occupation or revolution or movement or front or army or resistance. The word is jamoke. “Get...
Bill Belichick Had A Plan, It Just Backfired Completely
By now we know that the Patriots’ decision to kick off to start overtime wasn’t a mistake—or at least, not the one it appeared to be at the time. New England never touched the ball in their 26-20 OT loss to the Jets, and while the outcome wasn’t by design, the strategy was. Whether or not it was a w...
NFL Network Pregame Show Is Totally Blazed
We can only guess that Eisen & Co. have caught a whiff of a nearby stoner in Oakland as tonight’s NFL Network pregame devolved into a festival of giggles and Up In Smoke jokes. (Steve Mariucci is our favorite.)...
The Worst Man On Facebook Ruined <i>Star Wars</i>
Penn Holderness, professional, uh, person who makes his family help him ruin pop music tracks on YouTube, is bad. His videos are bad. His hair is bad. “All About That Baste” is the absolute worst thing I have ever seen in my life. Everything about him is bad. Bad bad bad. Also, he (allegedly) big-ti...
The Pelicans Are A Goddamn Mess
Remember when Anthony Davis was a sexy MVP pick, everyone was praising the Alvin Gentry hire, and the Pelicans looked like a lock to make the playoffs and maybe even do something once they got there? That looks foolishly optimistic now, as the team is 7-19, closer to the Lakers than anyone else in t...
Texas Shocks North Carolina On Javan Felix Buzzer-Beater
#3 ranked North Carolina went down to Austin with a 7-1 record and a heap of momentum after beating Maryland and lost to the Longhorns on a last-second, buzzer-beating jumper from Javan Felix....
What Was Bill Belichick Thinking?
If the season ended today, the Patriots would have to play (against the Jets!) on wild-card weekend. It’s a quick turnaround for a team, that just two games ago, had its sights set on another perfect regular season. But life comes at you fast, and if it’s entirely normal that New England would strug...
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Georgian Weightlifter Has Very Bad Day
Shota Mishvelidze is a weightlifter from Georgia whose appearance at the world championships in Houston did not end well....
A Completely Dumb And Unnecessary Argument About Sex Scenes
Batman v Superman is coming out soon, and the man in charge of this fiasco was also the architect of arguably the worst sex scene in movie history. But what makes a sex scene terrible, apart from the tragic decision to include a Leonard Cohen song? And can a sex scene ever REALLY be bad so long as i...
How To Say Goodbye To City Life
There may come a time in your life when, through choice or necessity, you will find yourself abandoning the metropolis you’ve called home for however many years. The bars you’ve been kicked out of, the parks you’ve surreptitiously pissed in, the various former workplaces where you once spent so much...
Jim Gaffigan Explains How The Heck He Travels With Five Kids
Comedian Jim Gaffigan and his wife Jeannie live in a two-bedroom New York City apartment with their five freaking kids. If that sounds like too much for you, wait until you hear that they regularly take the whole brood on the road. They once spent a summer together in a bus for Dad’s cross-country s...
Bill Belichick Is Extra Grumpy This Morning
The Patriots are notoriously cagey when it comes to talking publicly about player injuries, which is why it was kind of weird to see the team release an official statement about Rob Gronkowski’s knee injury. At this morning’s press conference, head coach Bill Belichick was asked why the team decided...
Eli Man Penguin Boy
Thank you, Fox, for giving us the best athlete nickname since Sauce Castillo....
Eli Manning Throws A Pair Of Tip-Drill Interceptions In Rapid Succession
Man, this is some piss-poor luck from Eli Manning. Shane Vereen is one of the best pass-catching running backs in the NFL, so this first pick is pretty inexcusable. The second toss maybe should have been picked, but Will Blackmon redeemed himself and scooped it up anyhow....
The Patriots Are Sketchy And Deserve Scrutiny
Monday night’s Buffalo Bills-New England Patriots game was a primetime display of shoddy officiating. The most egregious instance involved an inadvertent whistle on a Danny Amendola catch that would have been a huge gain, if not a touchdown, but Gene Steratore’s crew bungled other plays throughout t...