eli Page 112 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Colin Kaepernick, Like Therese Belivet, to Consider Major Career Change
There comes a time in the lifespan of a job that an employee is offered a new opportunity elsewhere. Reasons for taking (or not taking) the other job are many—not to mention deeply personal—and the decision, once made, has the ability to change the trajectory of life, as well as all the lives in its...

Here Is Your Ultimate Sports Party Pump-Up Mix to Get You Very Hype
The Jezebel staff is very excited to join you all today, which is a great day for sports—all sports. We love sports!...

3 Soccer Guys Try One-Upping Each Other With Horrible Gaffes; 2nd Guy Wins Easily
When you see why Quilmes’s Daniel Imperiale is all hunched over looking like he’s about to puke from embarrassment, you’ll understand how his display of complete ineptitude overshadowed the two blunders that sandwiched it. Who knew ten seconds was enough for three players in a row to shit themselves...


Thinkfluence Man Pretends To Think Empathy Is Bad
“Against Empathy” makes a hell of a title for a video. It’s bold and spicy! Empathy is bad is quite a strong take, after all, given that empathy—broadly speaking, the capacity to relate to and share the feelings and perspectives of others—is a core, defining trait of humanity, which will tend to be ...

Anthony Davis Says He's Been Playing Hurt For Three Years
The New Orleans Pelicans announced yesterday that Anthony Davis will miss the remainder of the season, and will have surgeries to repair an injured knee and a torn labrum in his shoulder. During a session with reporters today, Davis revealed that he’s been playing with the torn labrum for three year...

<i>The Portable Veblen </i>Mixes Uneasy Marital Comedy With Psychic Squirrels, As One Does
Thorstein Veblen was a Norwegian-American writer and economist famous for decrying conspicuous consumption, getting run out of teaching jobs at Stanford and the University of Chicago in the early 1900s, and cataloging the psychological trauma of capitalism. All of which makes him a rather strange na...

Damian Lillard Has The Best Response To Kendrick Perkins Trying To Decapitate Him
While the crazy-as-hell first round of the NCAA Tournament was finishing up, there were a bunch of NBA games on last night. I know! I’m surprised too! In one of them, the Blazers played the sad sack Pelicans, and in the fourth quarter, Kendrick Perkins tried to pop Damian Lillard’s head off....

Raw Milk Is For Idiots
Some very stupid lawmakers in West Virginia are sick, presumably with the shits. They lifted the state’s ban on raw, unpasteurized milk a few weeks ago, then drank some raw, unpasteurized milk to celebrate, and, well, they are feeling bad lately. This seems an opportune moment to point out that actu...

Falcons Apologize For Asking Combine Prospect If He Likes Men
This morning Ohio State CB Eli Apple, who’s projected to go mid-first round in next month’s draft, appeared on Comcast SportsNet in Philadelphia and revealed the strangest question he’d been asked at the NFL scouting combine. Turns out, the strangest question he got was also the first....

Kevin Garnett Tells Eric Gordon Exactly What He Thinks Of Him
Kevin Garnett may not have been fit enough to play in Saturday’s game against the Pelicans, but he still came to arena ready to talk some shit. That’s because KG is always ready to talk some shit....

D'Angelo Russell Caps Career Night By Pointing Out The Ice In His Veins
There’s still a decent chunk of games left in the NBA season, but I feel pretty comfortable naming Lakers rookie D’Angelo Russell’s swaggering reaction to his clutch three the winner of the 2015-16 Feeling Yourself Award. (Sorry, Evan Turner. Better luck next year.)...

Televangelist Finally Discovers Direct Link Between Nick Saban And The Devil
We’ve long suspected a link between Crimson Tide head coach Nick Saban and the dark lord Satan—the names are just one letter away, jeez!—but here’s televangelist David Uth pointing out that the link between Alabama and sin is one inscribed in the Holy Bible....

Holy Smokes, Anthony Davis Just Had The Game Of The Season
Thank God the Pistons kept today’s game against the Pelicans close enough to force Anthony Davis to stay in until the end, because he put forth the best game anyone’s had all NBA season. Young Brow dropped 59 points on 24-for-34 shooting and collected 20 rebounds in 43 minutes of work. That’s the fi...

U Can't See Me
No, seriously, Jamie Little clearly can’t see John Cena, today’s pace car driver....

Referee Gets Fed Up, Walks Off In Middle Of Bayer Leverkusen-Borussia Dortmund Match
Referee Felix Zwayer took his officiating crew off the pitch after Bayer Leverkusen manager Roger Schmidt earned an ejection but refused to leave during today’s match against Dortmund....

The Best Track On Kanye West's <i>The Life Of Pablo </i>Is Also, Somehow, The Worst
What the world needs now is a great Kanye West song: no less and please, God, no more. Enough with the delays, the obfuscations, the feuds, the amusing tantrums misidentified as unhinged rants, the legit unmisidentifiable social-media disasters. It’s exhausting. He’s exhausting. We’re exhausted. To ...