eli Page 124 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Running 50 Miles Across Kansas Was Actually Kind Of Awesome
I ran in the Bison 50 Relay race from Topeka to Lawrence, Kansas last weekend. It was 50 miles and surprisingly not the worst thing I've ever done. Next week I'll run a half-marathon in Florida and then, well, I don't know what I'll do. Probably get re-fat on alcohol and seasonal treats for the nex...
Carl Pelini Was Turned In By An Assistant Coach
According to documents obtained by SBNation and the Associated Press, Carl Pelini resigned as FAU coach after two witnesses reported seeing him use drugs. One of them also added that he saw Pelini use cocaine. That witness? According to the Sun Sentinel, it was FAU's D-line and special teams coach M...
Jrue Holiday Forgot What Team He Plays For Last Night
What's up, Pelicans fans? Are you excited about your team's new identity and collection of talented young players? That Anthony Davis sure looks like he's going to be great!...
The New Orleans Pelicans' Mascot Is Here To Terrify Your Children
This is Pierre the Pelican, the mascot that the New Orleans Pelicans have chosen to represent the team's totally badass namesake. Pierre the Pelican is not badass and does not really look like a Pelican. He is terrifying and awful....
"Pelicans" Is Still An Awesome Team Name
New Orleans tips off at home tonight, officially inaugurating the era of the Pelicans. The world needs a reminder that Pelicans are imposing, majestic, and above all bloodthirsty creatures, and make for an excellent team name....
Carl Pelini Resigns For Using "Illegal Drugs"
Update, 4:15 p.m.: FAU head coach Carl Pelini's resignation after one-and-a-half seasons was due to his use of "illegal drugs," confirmed AD Patrick Chun....
Bill Belichick Dressed Up As A Pirate For Halloween
Captain Grumblebeard sails the seven seas! Bill Belichick and his wife girlfriend Linda dressed up as a pair of pirates for Halloween. And Bill's actually smiling!...
Michael Irvin Urges Jason Campbell To Lead A "Scalping" Of The Chiefs
Michael Irvin's NFL Network segment was an attempt to inspire Jason Campbell and the Browns to beat the Chiefs in a "scalping." OK. (If Irvin really wants to go with violent imagery, how about he stay closer to home and call for the Browns to stab the Chiefs in the neck with a pair of scissors?)...
NFL: Jets Should Have Been Called For Same Pushing Penalty As Pats
There was a lot of bitter back-and-forth between the Jets and Patriots about last week's controversial overtime pushing penalty. At first, Bill Belichick didn't seem to know what the penalty was. (He made a big deal about the "second level" in the pushing penalty—"We weren't on the second level wh...
Bud Selig, The Commissioner Who Didn't Matter
There is a popular line of thinking among statistically minded baseball fans that declares the manager more or less irrelevant. In the course of 162 games, over tens of thousands of pitches, the impact of his strategic decision making is statistically negligible compared to the inherent quality of h...
Bill Belichick Says The Jets Also Pushed. Did They?
Lots of controversy—fun, silly controversy—over the overtime penalty on the Patriots that may have cost them Sunday's game at the Jets. Tackle Chris Jones was flagged for pushing teammate Will Svitek into the offensive line, negating a missed field goal. The first conspiracy theory was that the NFL ...
The Giants Just Assume Passes Will Be Intercepted At This Point
Eli and Tom Coughlin had essentially the same reaction immediately after Vikings safety Andrew Sendejo dropped what looked like another interception for the Giants offense....
No, The NFL Did Not Quickly Change The Rulebook To Screw The Patriots
America, say hello to Rule 9.1.3(b)(2). One of the NFL's newest rules, enacted this offseason in the name of player safety, controversially won the game for the Jets by giving them a second chance after a missed field goal. It was called correctly, but a misinterpretation of the rule by Bill Belichi...
No Matter How Far You Go, You Can't Outrun Stupid
You think you've exhausted the myriad avenues available to you in which it is possible to be an idiot at life and then you have a week like this one. Whatever the opposite of Mad Genius is, that's me. Recovering Fatass Soundtrack: Sane Moron Edition. Let's get down to brass tacks, shall we? Your Spo...
Felix Hernandez's Wife Victim Of Wire Fraud; Fellow M's Wife Charged
Maria Peguero, the wife of Mariners outfielder Carlos Peguero, is accused of using Felix Hernandez's wife's debit card to rack up nearly $180,000 in online charges. Peguero allegedly used Sandra Hernandez's card to make over 60 purchases from Sak's Fifth Avenue between June and October 2012. She fac...
Game-Winning Bundesliga Goal Doesn't Actually Go In
During today's match at Hoffenheim, Bayer Leverkusen striker Stefan Kießling put a header just outside the near post. The ball somehow snuck through the netting, and Kießling was awarded a goal....
Meanwhile, Outside MLB Headquarters...
Selig's official position on killing children was unclear at press time. ...
Breakfast Is A Pain In The Ass, But Probably Helpful
It is October, a time for drinking seasonal beers and being hearty. I am not drinking seasonal beers because I gave up drinking for the month because of an upcoming race. I gave up drinking for running; it's terrible. As you're reading this, I am likely getting drunk at a football game. Here is your...
Here Is The Ultimate Eli Manning Derp Face
Via The Big Lead. The Giants' struggles may not all be on the quarterback, but this image is a pretty tidy summary of what 0-6 looks like....