eli Page 152 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tiger Woods And Elin Have Finally Divorced
The Tiger Woods typing robot finally reappeared on his personal site and formally issued a statement about the death of the marriage that gave the world two bouncing baby Swedecaublasians. Dogs Chasing Cars has the details....
Israeli Soccer Player Celebrates Goal By Putting On Yarmulke, Receives Yellow Card (CONTEXT UPDATE)
During a game against Austrian club FC Red Bull Salzburg, Hapoel Tel Aviv's Itay Shechter scored after a very nice run, proceeded to pull a yarmulke out of his sock, (apparently) said a prayer—and was immediately given a yellow card....
Last Night's Loser: Drama-Loving U.S. Open Fan, Third Row
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Eli Manning Gets Bloodied
The Giants QB pinballed off of his own running back and LB Calvin Pace, before smashing his head on Jim Leonhard's facemask. The New Meadowlands turf is officially seeded with the blood of a virgin, as per the prophecy....
The Latest Attempt To Satanize Your Children: School Mascots
A Georgia pastor was arrested for protesting (without a permit) his son's high school's nickname, the Demons. Never mind that it's actually named for a WWII squadron. No one tell the pastor about Wake Forest; his head would explode. [WMAZ]...
Yes, Michael Irvin's Had Sex In His Hall Of Fame Jacket
AND NOTHING ELSE. Now that you've got that mental image, here's the money quote....
Startling Penalty Miss Alert: Spanish Second Division Edition
Mind doctors will tell you that the key to a decent penalty is a technique called "positive visualisation". Mehmet Aurelio is not at the forefront of this practice....
Larry Fitzgerald: Inspiration to Amputees Everywhere
The healing process works like this: 1. Lose a leg. 2. Visually dedicate the replacement prosthetic to a great wide receiver. 3. Somehow meet that great wide receiver; get him to autograph and photograph your prosthetic (possibly at the Paradise Valley, Az. mall). 4. Said wide receiver will then pos...
In Which We Try To Class Up That Burger King Parking Lot Fight Video
Yesterday's fight video was so operatic in scale and intensity of emotion that we figured we'd give it the soundtrack it deserves....
Read This: Don DeLillo's "At Yankee Stadium"
Granta has put up Don DeLillo's 1990 story "At Yankee Stadium," which depicts a Moonie wedding of 13,000 men and women (an actual event that remains perhaps the strangest phenomenon ever to materialize in the stadium, not counting Don Zimmer)....
Burger King Parking Lot In Oakland Is The Venue For One Of The Most Disturbing Things You'll Ever See (UPDATE)
To sum up: Pantsless, mouthy pregnant ladies fighting. One mouthy pregnant lady getting jumped by two people, then getting knocked out by dude smoking a joint. Old lady then attacks mouthy pregnant lady. Police are...somewhat present? Fin. (NSFW?) [BarStoolSportsJr.]...
ESPN Finally Discovers Purple Drank
Outside The Lines, always on the forefront of emerging trends (that's not even sarcasm), just did a story on the menace that is Purple Drank. Next up: exposés on Jenkem, poppers, and GRIDS. [OTL]...
Mike Vick Birthday Shooting Might Have Been Over Cake
Vick's 30th birthday went off with a bang, as his dogfighting co-defendent Quanis Phillips was shot early this morning. Rumors have it that a dispute between Phillips and Vick went down after someone shoved cake in someone's face. Seriously. [Daily Press]...
ESPN Prepares For Life Without Erin Andrews; A New Sideline Princess Waits In The Wings
The end of the Erin Andrews era, as of right this minute, appears moderately imminent. Some insiders think she's crazy to leave. Some think she's crazy to stay. But whatever decision Team Andrews makes, ESPN comes out victorious....
Spurned Belichick Superfan Blows A Gasket
Laura London was a big Patriots fan. Specifically, a Bill Belichick fan. She started a website devoted to him, and ran it faithfully for years. Then she tried to sell it to the team for $1 million. That's when things got interesting....
Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Elizabeth Minett (A.K.A. Robert Green's Ex)
This is Elizabeth Minet. She's the ex-girlfriend of English goal keeper Robert Green and currently the scapegoat for the Cock-Up heard round the world. But what do we really know about her? Pictures and profile after the jump....
Touchdown Jesus Statue Destroyed By Act Of God (UPDATE WITH VIDEO)
Via the Cincinnati Enquirer: "Lightning struck and ignited a fire late Monday that destroyed a 62-foot-tall statue of Jesus Christ with his arms stretched toward the skies." He'll be back, I'm sure. UPDATE: Watch Him burn! Video below....
Bud Selig Speaks On Imperfect Game, Says Nothing
No overturning Jim Joyce's call, and no perfect game for Galarraga. But there's this: "Given last night's call and other recent events, I will examine our umpiring system, the expanded use of instant replay and all other related features." [MLB]...
A Salute To Jose Canseco's Many Failures (Gallery)
Yesterday was the 17th anniversary of Jose Canseco taking a Carlos Martinez fly ball off the noggin for a home run. It was also the first anniversary of his MMA debut. Both are indelible moments in failuredom. Let's examine some Kanseco Klassics....
This Is What Orson Welles Sounds Like When He's Drunk
Here's a delightful set of outtakes from a Welles commercial for Paul Masson wines. As the old adage says: If the check clears, Orson Welles'll shill for your crappy products, but don't expect him to be sober doing it. [Pursuitlist via NYMag]...