eli Page 153 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Reports: Elin Wants Divorce, Shit-Ton Of Money
Elin's rumored $750 million demand sounds exorbitant, until you divide it by his 20 women, and remember many celebrities have paid much more per affair. If true, Nordegren would vault to No. 2 on the tour money list. [NYDN]...

Jose Lima, Dead At 37
Breaking news says Jose Lima died this morning of a heart attack at his home in Los Angeles. Since his last MLB season in 2006, he had made stops in Korea, Long Beach and Edmonton.[ESPN Deportes]...

Indiana High School Basketball Players Indicted For Hazing Incident
Four former members of Carmel High's varsity basketball team were indicted by a grand jury and will face misdemeanor battery charges for two incidents in which they hazed and/or sodomized school mates. This is definitely going in their permanent files....

Robinho And Pals Dance Merrily Along To Beyoncé
You know how sometimes on Jonathan Ross they will show a clip solely to embarrass a guest? Normally something humiliating from their past, like an old school play, or a silly advert? Good, you do. Well done....

Amar'e Is Against Arizona's Immigration Bill Because The Jews Have Suffered Enough (UPDATE)
Whatever your politics, there are plenty of good reasons to support "Los Suns'" Cinco De Mayo gesture. Amar'e Stoudemire's is not one of them....

New 49er Taylor Mays Implies Pete Carroll Broke Some Sort of Vague Promise to Draft Him
The second rounder on Carroll's decision to take Texas's Earl Thomas over him with Seattle's 14th pick: "I understand it's a business, but with it being a business, you have to be honest." Wait, isn't that bill still being debated?...

Tasteful Israel Cheerleaders Won't Be Grinding On Anything
In the Israeli basketball league, cheerleaders are basically mandatory, so the more Orthodox teams put up with them even though fans would prefer that no one shake and/or display any "lady lumps." So they're expected to just....cheer? That's sick. [France24]...

Rockies President, 48, Found Dead
Rockies president Keli McGregor, said to be "in top physical shape," was found dead this morning in a Salt Lake City hotel room. Cops say he died of natural causes. [Denver Post]...

Detestable School, Loathsome Sneaker Company Produce Most Insufferable Ad Ever
This ad appeared in Sports Illustrated. As it is not a four color ad or black & white, it cost somwhere between $229,300 and $352,800. At least, according to the SI rate card, pictured after the jump: ...

USA Swimming's Monstrous Coaches And The "Culture of Sexual Misconduct"
An investigative report on last night's 20/20 presented startling stories of young swimmers sexually abused, secretly videotaped, and even impregnated by monstrous coaches. Has USA Swimming created a unique "culture of sexual misconduct," as ABC News would have you believe?...

Tebow Draft Rationalization Watch: The Patriots Are Capable Of Anything
As the NFL Draft approaches, many team fanbases will attempt complex logical gymnastics to talk themselves into using a first-round pick on Florida quarterback Tim Tebow. Today: What does Bill Belichick know that we don't?...

Golf Channel Actually Asks Tiger Woods Tougher Softball Questions
Golf Channel's Kelly Tilghman actually asks better questions and introduces us to Tiger's magic pussy protector Buddhist bracelet he now wears to keep rooted. She also reveals Ari Fleischer is done working for Team Tiger. Big day for "Kell." [GolfChannelTranscript]...

Onions, Both Peeled And Grabbed, Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the guy from the NCAA selection committee who peeled his metaphorical onions, and this happy Buccaneer from East Tennessee State, who merely gripped his....

Jackie Gleason Shows Us The Proper Way To Bomb On TV: With Self-Deprecation And Booze
In 1961, Jackie Gleason hosted a game show on CBS titled You're In The Picture. It was a precursor to The Jay Leno Show and The Marriage Ref in that it was universally reviled....

Vicodin, A Golf Cart, And Withheld Evidence: New Details From Tiger's Thanksgving Night
New investigation records were released today regarding Tiger Woods's Escalade crash, and there's more than enough fodder in there for conspiracy theorists....

You Put Baylor Fans In Kansas City, You're Gonna Get A Mustache
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

How To Destroy Baseball In One Easy Step
A special committee has been looking into way to solve baseball's parity problems, and one of the proposed fixes will blow your freaking mind. Picture realignment, every season, based on teams choosing the division they want to be in....

Dykstra Strikes Out With The Help, Gets Sued
His financial empire in ruins, can we begrudge Lenny Dykstra his desire for a blow job? Yes we can, when he wants it from his personal assistant, and it's entirely non-consensual....

Clippers Fandom Now An Exercise In Spiritual Enlightenment
"For me, being a Los Angeles Clippers fan for over twenty years has taught me firsthand about the spiritual dimensions of faith and suffering, and has helped me better understand my own Hindu tradition." [Huffington Post]...

What Are We To Do With Brittney Griner?
Baylor's Brittney Griner assaulted someone on a basketball court last night and after dealing with LeGarrette Blount and Elizabeth Lambert, it's still not clear what the appropriate level of hysterical moral outrage should be....