eli Page 169 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dolphins Take Jake Long First Overall
Greetings, fellow podium gazers! It's great to be spending Saturday afternoon with you and not my family. And what better way to kick things off but with some four day old news! When we last saw Bill Parcells, he was sitting in the owner's box watching the Dolphins' final game, looking like a late...

This Week's Tasered Athlete: Tim Worley
Wait, you don't remember him? Me neither, so let's revisit his career. Tim Worley was a great running back for the University of Georgia (an All-American, at that) and the seventh overall draft pick by the Pittsburgh Steelers in 1989. He didn't have much of a pro career, lasting only four seasons, r...

A Sad Good Night For Jose Lima
We feel like we write this every few months, but this time it looks like it's for real. Yes, the Jose Lima Era in baseball appears to have actually ended....

Celine Dion Will Heal Olympic Rifts With Powerful Vocals
Celine Dion is about ready to choke a bitch if this Olympic boycott talk persists. Dion called on all people to "keep the dream possible for our young kids." She came to Beijing to express support for the Games after her concert in Shanghai on Friday....

South Park, Cheating, And You
“In America, it’s OK to cheat as long as you cheat your way to the top.” What does Stand and Deliver have in common with Bill Belichick? South Park explains....

Eli Manning's Reach-Around Courtesy Is Impressive
Yeah, that episode may not get by network censors....

Obviously, Tom Gordon Didn't Get His Balls Blessed
Yesterday morning, right in front of the Mike Schmidt statue at Citizens Bank Park, the Philadelphia Phillies had their balls blessed by a priest, a rabbi and a pastor with the hopes of giving 2007's team to beat an extra boost of godliness to kick off 2008. Well, God was napping yesterday, as the P...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

About Last Night
What you missed while blessing the Phillies' balls ... • MLB: Santana, Mets begin quest for world domination by annexing Florida Marlins, 7-2. • College women's basketball: No soup for North Carolina; LSU reaches Final Four. • College men's basketball: Stanford to lose more than 14 feet of Lopez bro...

Just Another Last Sunday Of The Tourney
Storming The Floor wraps up yesterday's Elite Eight action in a more detailed way than we will....

Your Davidson-Kansas Live Blog
And now the Davidson Wildcats are all that stands in the way of an all 1-seed Final Four. If they, and we've been assured all day they are not just Stephen Curry, can deal Bill Self another regional final loss, they will be the first 10 seed to make the Final Four....

Your Texas-Memphis Live Blog
Yes, the string of Texas-themed posts hits three, which hopefully propels someone to beat a No. 1 seed. That, or the 30,000 Longhorn fans in attendance. D.J. Augustin got the best of Derrick Rose last summer, but let's see what becomes of games that matter....

North Carolina, UCLA, Punching Tickets
Storming the Floor recaps last night's action and previews the last two Regional Finals as we prepare to move to the big NCAA stage in San Antonio....

Your Louisville-UNC Open Thread
Psycho T and his band of Tar Heels haven't seen a great deal of tight competition thus far in the tournament, but then they've been the beneficiaries of a near-home court advantage or so goes the drummed up storyline between Rick Pitino and Roy Williams. It is those two coaches who are coming in wit...

Your Xavier-UCLA Open Thread
The first of our the regional finals pits the seemingly charmed - sometimes suspiciously so - UCLA Bruins against those nutty Jesuit Musketeers. Is the dunking process of Derrick Brown enough to hold off KevLuv and Co., or is UCLA just an inevitable tournament runner-up? Let's just stay out of the S...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while counting the spiritual wonders of the Jesus Cheeto ... • College basketball: OK, who had Louisville in the pool? Anyone? • NBA: Nene But The Brave ... Nuggets 118, Mavericks 105. • LSU quarterback Ryan Perrilloux off of double-secret probation, ready to spring forward (or is it...

Take a Picture, It'll Last Longer... Then Shred It
Be it in practice, on film, inside another man's house, or at an NIT basketball game, Bill Belichick can't help but take notice of some untapped potential. TMZ brings us this transcendent image from Florida's victory in the NIT last night. Clearly Nick Calathes' triple double wasn't the only to imp...

It Can Be Told: Spitzer Dribbled Before He Shot
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

Believe In The Flying Bracketti Monster
Everyone has their Sharpie and blank bracket, right? Okay, good. I entrust you also have your empty NIT and CBI — yeah the new 16-team tournament — brackets as well. You'll get to squiggle the teams into those little lines soon enough....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while mocking people who waste time on the Internet making these videos, then getting back to your 3,000 word sports blog dissertation on the relationship between 9th inning walks and hockey overtime ... • 6 p.m. — Pac 10 championship: Stanford vs. UCLA [CBS]; A-10 Championship: St. Jo...