eli Page 172 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

We're Sure Bud Selig Is Very Depressed Now
We're always wary of people who are obsessed with Google-bombing — the practice of making sure when you search for, say, "Tom Brady" on Google, you get a link to something like Mexican goat-fisting, or whatever — but some disgruntled Washington, D.C. residents have decided to go after MLB commissi...

NFL Roundup: Bengal Breakthrough
• As Arizona Cardinals fans, we always wonder what the day will be like when, after years of torture, our team finally breaks through and shows they're serious about this whole winning business. It must have been that exciting for Bengals fans yesterday. Realize: A baby born the last time the Beng...

Irvin's Good Friends At ESPN
Last post of the week on Michael Irvin, we promise....

Beleaguered "NFL Countdown" Closed Captioning Typists Get One-Week Reprieve
We were on a very slow-moving piece of public transportation and therefore are just hitting the late news: Michael Irvin has been suspended for one week following his arrest last Friday for having a "pipe" in his car. This is only two days after handsomely named ESPN exec Norby Williamson said "Ri...

Who's Your Favorite Sportswriter's Binkie?
Inspired by a comment in this morning's story about Jason Whitlock and his rips on Michael Irvin, a commenter named Mr. Poon — who runs this site — pointed out something curious about Whitlock. Namely, that Whitlock, in pinch, will fall back on his blind spot; his odd belief that Jeff George (a hi...

Whitlock Roasts Himself, But Mostly Roasts Irvin
Fascinating column this week from The Kansas City Star's Jason Whitlock, who, of course, is well-known to most by his frequent appearances on ESPN, television, online and otherwise. While discussing an apparent "roast" planned for him in the Kansas City area (featuring potshots from Tony Kornheise...

Michael Irvin's Selective Memory
Yesterday, we were wondering when, exactly, ESPN found out about "analyst" Michael Irvin's arrest last week. Well, USA Today's intrepid Michael Hiestand talked to Bristol brass for today's paper, and it turns out, they found out Sunday, two days after the arrest ... but not from Irvin....

A Day In The Life Of The "New" Michael Irvin
Well, it's the day after Michael Irvin's endless string of mea culpas following his arrest on Friday, and if Irvin's appearances had anything in common, it was their high proportion of "mea" to "culpa." Let's look back at Irvin's trip through the ESPN empire:...

Analyzing Irvin's Explanation, Matlock Style
All right, so we know we've harped on this quite a bit already, but we don't want to be all flippant and blog-like on you here: We have to delve into this Michael Irvin business a little bit more. You see, we want to dig down deep into Mr. Irvin's explanation of why there was a pipe in his car, ex...

Michael Irvin's Curious Company
OK, time for a Michael Irvin update. On Friday, Irvin was cited for having drug paraphernalia in his automobile — wouldn't it be great if Irvin drove a Cooper Mini, by the way? — and yesterday (and today) he's defending himself....

Once A Cowboy, Always A Cowboy
Well, at least we know where Rush Limbaugh was getting all his Oxycontin....

New Steroid Agreement Reached
Well, we didn't have the scoop this time, but our main man Jon Heyman did: Major League Baseball and the players union have reached an agreement on a new steroid penalty policy. The details: 50 games for a first offense, 100 games for a second offense and a lifetime ban for the third offense. Thos...

Last Call For Athlete Run-In Stories
We'll be picking our winners in our athlete run-in stories contest, where the best athlete run-in stories win a free copy of The Education Of A Coach, the new David Halberstam about Patriots coach Bill Belichick....

Now Blogging For NHL.com ...
Off Wing Opinion beat us to this, because they're really into hockey and we can't even wear skates without falling down. Apparently taking a cue from MLB Blogs, NHL.com has added a new blog section to its site. But those who run hockey have a much better idea of what works online; whereas the sig...

Tell Us Your Best Athlete Run-Ins, And Win A Book!
Hey, look, it's the first-ever Deadspin contest. The fine folks at Hyperion Books just shipped a big stack of copies of David Halberstam's new book The Education Of A Coach to Deadspin World Headquarters, and we're here to give them away. We've read the book and think it's really good, actually, eve...

Revisiting Felix Heredia
A fascinating, oddly chilling read from "writer" Tiffany Battista was just sent to us, and we had to share it with you. Essentially, it details a night three years ago when Mets reliever Felix Heredia — who was suspended for steroids last month — woke up Battista (who was with a friend in his hous...

Field Goal Jesus
Today we grapple with the big questions. Like, if Jesus were around today and attending high school, what sport would he go out for? It's impossible to know for sure (Kurt Warner isn't answering his cell phone), but we guess football. We imagine that Christ would be an awesome placekicker ("It's h...

Uh, Mr. Selig, We're Not Sure We Can Get A Crane There In Time
From Fox News' homepage this morning. When we first saw it, it had us running for the phones. First off, what about all the people inside? Secondly, uh, it's not retractable is it? Third ... who gives Bud Selig the authority? Where does he get off? Can he just roam the countryside, ripping off peo...

NFL Roundup: Portis' Head
• Contrary to popular belief, Redskins running back Clinton Portis was not doing an impersonation of Yankees center fielder Bernie Williams chasing a fly ball while doing that cartwheel in the end zone yesterday. Good guess, though. • We're not saying that Cincinnati was getting a little too excit...

Jesus Christ, All-Pro
Little Billy was a terror on defense — he had been living in the opponents' backfield all day. But then he took it one step too far. Yes, as you may have guessed from this photo, Billy was penalized 15 yards for "roughing Jesus," an infraction that also carries loss of down, plus possible eternal ...