eli Page 172 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Will a Picture of a Drunk QB Shut You Up For a Little While?
I know, I know, you miss Will. Believe me, so do I. In the interests of moving us a little closer to the goal line, here's a drunken athlete photo: It's Giants QB Eli Manning, although whether or not his expression here is one of inebriation or, you know, the default genetic Manning visage is a ques...

Steve Young Can't Take It Anymore
We're sure, in the wake of a ridiculous $1.7 billion dollar deal, the folks at YouTube won't let this stand very long, but if you watched "SportsCenter" this morning, you say Michael Irvin — shockingly! — ramble on like, well, a retard for about five minutes about why the Ravens belonged in the top ...

Us Against The Music
Little housecleaning matter here: Tomorrow night, right before the Tigers begin securing their 2-0 ALDS lead on the Yankees — sorry — we will be reading things aloud. Using our voice, and perhaps some spackle....

You Know What's Funny? She's Actually The Swimming Judge
Life as a judge in the javelin toss ain't so easy ... there is, for example, the whole issue of being hit with a javelin....

Michael Irvin, Koren Robinson, And Ricky Williams Have A Song For You
Click icon to play video ...

Meet The Blogger Who Now Owns This Dress
So you remember that eBay auction last week to purchase the infamous dress of Jose Lima's wife, the one she "wore" when Limatime sang the national anthem a few years back? Well, the final price was $152.50, and it was won by, of all people, the guy who runs maybe one of the top Rangers sites....

Now, Now, We're Sure Irvin Has Close To The Right Number Of Chromosomes
So that whole Tom Jackson calling Michael Irvin a "retard" thing from yesterday? Absolutely true, absolutely happened, and here's video, via Dejuiced....

Eventually, It Will Just Be A Graphic Below Irvin's Name
So we haven't actually seen this, so we need someone to confirm it for us, preferably with video. Let that be our disclaimer prologue....

Obviously, The Breasts Are Sold Separately
As has been pointed out by Fark and a few other places, it appears that the famous dress worn by Jose Lima's somewhat heavily busomed wife when he sang the national anthem a few years ago — she was actually cropped out of accompanying photo by MLB.com, but we bring her back because we are all abou...

MLB Would Like You To Stop Enjoying Their Product So Much
Lots of discussion the last few days about fantasy baseball statistics, who owns them and whether Major League Baseball is clueless, a bunch of jerks or both. Basically, baseball wanted to force any fantasy game companies to pay them a licensing fee just to use their stats, and a St. Louis judge sai...

Minor Enterprise: A Mighty Wind
Welcome to Minor Enterprise, where each Wednesday we preview, and occasionally review, the great events and promotions of minor league baseball. If you have a tip about a minor league promotion, or perhaps you're dressed as a large mascot beaver and are hopelessly stuck in the suit, contact us at ti...

Michael Irvin Arrested!
You know, it's a sad day when ESPN analyst Michael Irvin is arrested for something, and nobody even notices or cares....

Men, Keep Your Wives From Bill Belichick
OK, so it turns out that Patriots coach Bill Belichick is quite the swordsman....

We Have To Ask ... Special Bud Selig Edition
Tomorrow afternoon, baseball commissioner Bud Selig will host a live chat with fans from the All-Star Game festivities in Pittsburgh. The chat isn't live, necessarily, considering you can submit your questions a day early. But Selig will be there, probably, and it's possible his typist might even ...

If You Can Trust Anyone, You Can Trust Jose Canseco
Yesterday, Major League Baseball released a Strongly Worded Statement, making it clear that former Madonna statue Jose Canseco's claims — that Bud Selig and Co. could cover up a positive steroid test if the player (namely, Roger Clemens) were popular enough — "complete nonsense." It is the next in...

Michael Irvin Brings The Love
What is love, exactly? What is it that brings people together, two become one, living in the sacred state of holy matrimony? (Well, as long as it's not two dudes, anyway.)...

Sheriff Bud Selig, All Over The Case
Look out, Barry; you're really in trouble now. Bud Selig reportedly is ready to announce that Major League Baseball is launching an investigation into steroid use (insert dramatic music here). So as you can see, the jig is up. There's absolutely nowhere players like Bonds can hide. Having Bud Seli...

Everybody Hates Barry ... Even Pepsi
So, let's just say that Barry Bonds does break Hank Aaron's home run record this year. It's not that crazy of a notion, you know; he needs 48, which is fewer home runs than Andruw Jones hit last year. How will you react? OK, let's rephrase that: If you had a multi-million dollar advertising budget...

Barry Bonds And The Chamber of Secrets
Well, there's less than two weeks left until the official release of the book Game of Shadows, the Barry Bonds expose by San Francisco Chronicle reporters Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams. We suspect that your kids have been on pins and needles in anticipation and have probably been bugging you ...

David Wells: More Fun Than Should Be Allowed
How great is it, honestly, to have David Wells around? We're almost sorry to see the Red Sox pitcher come back from that knee injury, because it means he'll be busy again. And we've learned that an idle David Wells is an entertaining David Wells — it's kind of like if Gary Busey all of a sudden sh...