eli Page 178 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Obviously, The Breasts Are Sold Separately
As has been pointed out by Fark and a few other places, it appears that the famous dress worn by Jose Lima's somewhat heavily busomed wife when he sang the national anthem a few years ago — she was actually cropped out of accompanying photo by MLB.com, but we bring her back because we are all abou...
MLB Would Like You To Stop Enjoying Their Product So Much
Lots of discussion the last few days about fantasy baseball statistics, who owns them and whether Major League Baseball is clueless, a bunch of jerks or both. Basically, baseball wanted to force any fantasy game companies to pay them a licensing fee just to use their stats, and a St. Louis judge sai...
Minor Enterprise: A Mighty Wind
Welcome to Minor Enterprise, where each Wednesday we preview, and occasionally review, the great events and promotions of minor league baseball. If you have a tip about a minor league promotion, or perhaps you're dressed as a large mascot beaver and are hopelessly stuck in the suit, contact us at ti...
Michael Irvin Arrested!
You know, it's a sad day when ESPN analyst Michael Irvin is arrested for something, and nobody even notices or cares....
Men, Keep Your Wives From Bill Belichick
OK, so it turns out that Patriots coach Bill Belichick is quite the swordsman....
We Have To Ask ... Special Bud Selig Edition
Tomorrow afternoon, baseball commissioner Bud Selig will host a live chat with fans from the All-Star Game festivities in Pittsburgh. The chat isn't live, necessarily, considering you can submit your questions a day early. But Selig will be there, probably, and it's possible his typist might even ...
If You Can Trust Anyone, You Can Trust Jose Canseco
Yesterday, Major League Baseball released a Strongly Worded Statement, making it clear that former Madonna statue Jose Canseco's claims — that Bud Selig and Co. could cover up a positive steroid test if the player (namely, Roger Clemens) were popular enough — "complete nonsense." It is the next in...
Michael Irvin Brings The Love
What is love, exactly? What is it that brings people together, two become one, living in the sacred state of holy matrimony? (Well, as long as it's not two dudes, anyway.)...
Sheriff Bud Selig, All Over The Case
Look out, Barry; you're really in trouble now. Bud Selig reportedly is ready to announce that Major League Baseball is launching an investigation into steroid use (insert dramatic music here). So as you can see, the jig is up. There's absolutely nowhere players like Bonds can hide. Having Bud Seli...
Everybody Hates Barry ... Even Pepsi
So, let's just say that Barry Bonds does break Hank Aaron's home run record this year. It's not that crazy of a notion, you know; he needs 48, which is fewer home runs than Andruw Jones hit last year. How will you react? OK, let's rephrase that: If you had a multi-million dollar advertising budget...
Barry Bonds And The Chamber of Secrets
Well, there's less than two weeks left until the official release of the book Game of Shadows, the Barry Bonds expose by San Francisco Chronicle reporters Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams. We suspect that your kids have been on pins and needles in anticipation and have probably been bugging you ...
David Wells: More Fun Than Should Be Allowed
How great is it, honestly, to have David Wells around? We're almost sorry to see the Red Sox pitcher come back from that knee injury, because it means he'll be busy again. And we've learned that an idle David Wells is an entertaining David Wells — it's kind of like if Gary Busey all of a sudden sh...
Soon, Bud Selig Will Rule the World! Bwah Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!
We've never imagined the Yankees' front office as rebel types, but there's a first time for everything, we suppose. On Saturday, some brave soul in the Legends Field ticket office posted a sign in the main concourse of their spring training complex in Tampa, apologizing to fans for the absence of ...
NFL Playoff Roundup: Riiiiipppppp!
• Honestly, we know this was covered all weekend, but man, that Carson Palmer thing was the worst playoff moment we can remember. We think Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals have it tough; Bengals fans finally get in the playoffs, and two plays in, their Pro Bowl QB tears an ACL and MCL. (Quest...
Professor Irvin's Class Is In Session
The Miami Herald points us in the direction of something that was new to us: The Michael Irvin Academic Resource Academy. Irvin recently dedicated the "learning center" in Ft. Lauderdale, and whatever our thoughts about Irvin, it's difficult to find much fault in the gesture. Its goal is to help "...
Irvin Arrest Video Surfaces
Well, this is a nice day: The video of the Michael Irvin arrest a week-and-a-half ago has been released. It, as you might expect, makes for compelling viewing. Dallas' NBC-5 recounts the details....
We're Sure Bud Selig Is Very Depressed Now
We're always wary of people who are obsessed with Google-bombing — the practice of making sure when you search for, say, "Tom Brady" on Google, you get a link to something like Mexican goat-fisting, or whatever — but some disgruntled Washington, D.C. residents have decided to go after MLB commissi...
NFL Roundup: Bengal Breakthrough
• As Arizona Cardinals fans, we always wonder what the day will be like when, after years of torture, our team finally breaks through and shows they're serious about this whole winning business. It must have been that exciting for Bengals fans yesterday. Realize: A baby born the last time the Beng...
Irvin's Good Friends At ESPN
Last post of the week on Michael Irvin, we promise....
Beleaguered "NFL Countdown" Closed Captioning Typists Get One-Week Reprieve
We were on a very slow-moving piece of public transportation and therefore are just hitting the late news: Michael Irvin has been suspended for one week following his arrest last Friday for having a "pipe" in his car. This is only two days after handsomely named ESPN exec Norby Williamson said "Ri...