emails Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Might Be The World's Most Ingenious Prank Phone Call
Reader John emailed me this week with this audio of a prank conference call he set up between two pizza joints. He explains his methodology thusly: ...

Manny Ramirez's Dreads Will Cause Drug Use, Abortion, Gayness, Blindness, Fan Tells The A's Triple-A Affiliate In Insane Voicemail
This disgruntled fan of the Sacramento River Cats would like you to know that she is NOT fuddy duddy. Nor is she a crackpot. She just thinks that Manny Ramirez's dreadlocks are the reason that "unwholesomeness" is spreading across the American landscape. I strongly urge you to listen to this voic...

“At Least I Am Not Raising A Pussy Rugby Player”: Rec League Softball Coach Taunts Concussed Player
We love us some overwrought rec league emails. Today's comes from a Wednesday night non-competitive softball league in the suburbs of an unnamed American city. One player member informed his teammates last night via email that he won't be able to make tonight's games because of an injury suffered ye...

L.A. Kings Win Stanley Cup; "Mavs Win!" Proclaims NBC Sports
The L.A. Kings are the best team in the NHL, but those poor souls just can't catch a break when it comes to people actually knowing who the hell they are. First there was the case of the mistaken logo, an abysmal highlight package, and then a misidentification of the team's mascot....

How To Not Piss Off The World With Your Email Signature
I once worked at an ad agency that forced employees to use an email signature. And not only did we have to have an email signature, but we had to rotate in new talking points about the company into the signature every week. "Did you know that Sturding Pooper Raper Lice was ranked a Top 50 Agency by ...

It Takes A Special Kind Of Mom To Disown Her Child Over Voicemail
Once in a while, we're offered a glimpse into the dark heart of the American family. The above voicemail is one such instance. Reader Ben provides the background:...

Another Angry Voicemail: "What In The Hell's Wrong With You?" Said The Tebow Fan To The Local TV Station
Another day, another angry voicemail. This one comes to us from a Pittsburgh TV anchor, who writes in:...

Pissed-Off College Student Leaves Greatest Voicemail Ever
If you've ever attended school at any level, you know how infuriating it can be when some dipshit administrator screws up your paperwork and sticks you in the wrong class. Or even worse, when they actively try to prevent you from switching out of that class into the class you wanted. Well, one br...

"Some People Have To Be Protected Against Themselves": Hockey League Pleads With Players To Stop Boozing During Games
Today's overwrought rec league email carries a tinge of desperation. Coming to us from an adult hockey league in the Chicago suburbs, it's a cry in the dark from an overworked, under-appreciated league director, who wonders why a bunch of grown men can't get together to play hockey without drinking ...

Rick Reilly's Auto-Response To Reader Email Is More Clever Than Rick Reilly's Actual Column
Ever email your constructive criticism to a sportswriter, only to receive a crappy, needlessly hostile response? Forward the emails to us at [email protected], subject: Crap Emails....

Drew Sharp Responds To A Reader: "Does The Little Baby Need A Pacifier?"
Ever email your constructive criticism to a sportswriter, only to receive a crappy, needlessly hostile response? Forward the emails to us at [email protected], subject: Crap Emails....
!["Now Get Lost And Stay Lost": Introducing Crap Emails From A Sportswriter [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17lxhqrz8d7vjpng.png)
"Now Get Lost And Stay Lost": Introducing Crap Emails From A Sportswriter [UPDATED]
Ever email your constructive criticism to a sportswriter, only to receive a crappy, needlessly hostile response? Forward the emails to us at [email protected], subject: Crap Emails....

Gisele Bundchen Sends Email
Gisele emailed some people about the Super Bowl, which her husband is playing in. One of those people forwarded it to the Post, which is how we got to where we are today. In a "disgustingly sappy email" (EXCLUSIVE//MUST CREDIT NEW YORK POST), Bundchen asked for some positive thoughts to be sent "Tom...

A J.P. Morgan Vice President Has Very Specific Tactical Plans For His Rec League Basketball Team
The latest entry in our overwrought emails series comes from the world of high finance... rec-league basketball. A vice president at J.P. Morgan in London is very enthusiastic about the upcoming season. But he's not gonna stand for his players flailing around on the court, like Mike D'Antoni might. ...

"Am I Sick? Are We All Sick?": Overwrought Things The Media Wrote To Auburn's PR Guy During Cam Newton's Wild 2010 Season
A few months ago, we asked Auburn for all correspondence between the media and the football team's spokesman, Kirk Sampson, during the Tigers' 2010 season. We weren't looking for anything specific; we only wanted to get a sense of what it's like on the inside when the press descends on one story—in ...

More Overwrought Fantasy Emails: Joe's Going To Carve You Up, Drink Your Blood, Rape Your Sister, And Beat Your Mother
As we've seen with our "Life Lessons" segment, some people take sports way too seriously. But none as serious as fantasy football players. Each week, we'll feature some of the whiniest, bitchiest, nastiest, most sociopathic emails from this group of very special people so you can point and laugh at...

If You Taunt Gary One More Time, He's Received Permission From His Wife To Fight You In Real Life
As we've seen with our "Life Lessons" segment, some people take sports way too seriously. But none as serious as fantasy football players. Each week, we'll feature some of the whiniest, bitchiest, nastiest, most sociopathic emails from this group of very special people so you can point and laugh at ...

Fashionista Softball Player Flips Out Over Uniforms In Several Bitchy Emails
This slow-pitch softball meltdown is unique, in that the rec league season hadn't yet begun. They were trying to pick a uniform color scheme, and four different designs for the Westside Swingers jersey were emailed out. A co-manager sets it up for us:...

Real Estate Broker By Day Is Jerkoff Softball Coach By Night
As summer comes on, co-ed rec leagues across the country are forced to deal with power-hungry coaches who've memorized the inspirational speeches from Miracle and Any Given Sunday. Today's coach has a novel form of encouragement: enforcing a fine for any outs made. Our forwarder notes that this is "...

Retiring Beer League Softball Commish Would Like To Thank Himself For All His Hard Work And Dedication
Lucky for us and our readers, half of all intramural sports participants join up just to get in touch with their inner asshole. I suspect that most of these individuals are tolerable for most of the day, but once they throw on a T-shirt with a number on the back something changes inside them. Like t...