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The Cheesy <i>Spectre </i>Suggests That James Bond's Darker, Grittier, Better Days Are Over
1. There was a time not so long ago when the very notion of James Bond seemed ridiculous—as anachronistic as making a movie about Betamax players or pay phones. There were actual thinkpieces 10 years back about whether James Bond could exist in a post-Austin Powers world. Even Daniel Craig worried a...

Here's Your Ridiculously Early 2016 Oscar Preview
The next Academy Awards will be hosted by Chris Rock and will be held on February 28, 2016. That is 130 days from now. By then, the Iowa caucus, and the New Hampshire and South Carolina primaries, will be over. The Super Bowl will be a fading memory. Selection Sunday will be two weeks away. It is a ...

<i>Rock The Kasbah </i>Might Be Bill Murray's Worst Movie Ever
1. I love Bill Murray. You love Bill Murray. We all love Bill Murray. We love him on talk shows. We love him when he pops up in random places, doing random things. But we haven’t collectively loved a new Bill Murray movie in a long time. Sure, we’ve celebrated him in small roles: Zombieland, Moonris...

Guillermo del Toro's<i> Crimson Peak </i>Is Best Watched On Mute
1. Crimson Peak is a movie that’s all windup and no pitch. It requires a patience of you that I’m not sure it necessarily earns, and a level of patience it doesn’t feel obliged to reward. It’s not a slog; the movie always looks fantastic, and it has enough earthly delights to string you along its gr...

Spielberg's <i>Bridge of Spies</i> Is A Compelling Cold War Drama Your Granddad Will Love
1. Bridge of Spies is effective, efficient, compelling, smart and absorbing throughout, and I still couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed. I think we’re starting to lose the Spielberg who was a risk-taker. The guy did exist, you know. After he won his last Oscar for directing Saving Private R...

EAT SHIT, LEITCH!
This is Will Leitch, the founder of Deadspin and world’s most annoying Cardinals fan. We love Leitch, but we also like trolling him at every possible opportunity by telling him that he is human garbage and his favorite team is a band of wingnut Puritan shitbags who hack into laptops and pepper spray...

The Sucky New Peter Pan Reboot Oughta Fly Straight Into The Toilet
1. It is difficult not to approach Pan with a deep, weary sigh. I am fortunate that people pay me to write about movies, and it’s something that no one should ever take for granted, particularly in this day (year? decade? quarter-century?) of media turmoil. Every assignment is a gift. One of the man...

Get Your Ass Off Mars: <i>The Martian </i>Is A Thrilling, Crowd-Pleasing Science Problem
1. The Martian will make you feel better about America, about the goodness of your fellow man, about the limitless possibilities of human achievement. That it’s also rooted in hard science (or at least a movie’s version of hard science, which is close enough), that all its surprises and accomplishme...

The Idiotic <i>Stonewall </i>Is A Bigger Disaster Than Roland Emmerich's Actual Disaster Movies
1. Stonewall misses the point of the Stonewall riots in almost the exact same way that Pearl Harbor missed the point of Pearl Harbor. That’s not a comparison I make lightly. Pearl Harbor turned one of the most seminal moments in American history into the pretext for a lame story about two white schm...

<i>Black Mass </i>Plays Like A Boston-Mob-Thriller Parody
1. Whatever your thoughts on The Departed or The Town—the modern Boston mob/crime thrillers that all modern Boston mob/crime thrillers are measured against—it is undeniable that everyone involved was deeply invested in both. Matt Damon had been waiting his whole life to play a character like his Dep...

<i>The Visit</i> Proves That M. Night Shyamalan Is Still Trying Way Too Hard
1. Man oh man, remember the Newsweek that dubbed M. Night Shyamalan “The Next Spielberg?” Has an entertainment-cover of a national newsmagazine ever aged worse? All right, maybe this one. But man, that Newsweek cover might have been the worst thing that ever happened to Shyamalan. The Sixth Sense wa...

Richard Gere's Homelessness Drama <i>Time Out Of Mind </i>Will Hit You Hard
1. New York City is obviously the central setting of thousands of movies, and, being New York City, it’s adept at serving as whatever backdrop you want it to serve. It can connote romance or menace, limitless possibility or untold decadence, Candyland or the Hellmouth. But, as someone who lived ther...