emeritus Page 11 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Will Smith Has Left And Gone Away
When did you first realize that the Fresh Prince could legitimately act? Like, in the big leagues? For once in my life, I was on the early part of the curve; my college newspaper assigned me, a green freshman, a review of Six Degrees of Separation, John Guare's adaptation of his own play about a fan...
Is Not Good For Me. <em>The Dictator</em>, Reviewed.
1. There's a scene toward the end of The Dictator when you can see, finally, why Sacha Baron Cohen decided to wrap a whole movie around Admiral General Aladeen, the ruthless, clueless dictator of fictional country Wadiya. Without giving away any plot details, Aladeen is speaking to the United Nation...
Tim Burton Bottoms Out. <em>Dark Shadows</em>, Reviewed.
1. How was there ever a time that we considered Tim Burton weird? He certainly isn't weird now—give this guy a slight haircut and he's essentially an insurance salesman—but in retrospect, knowing the bloated, self-satisfied cookie-cutter hack Burton turned out to be makes one wonder what all the exc...
How Bobcat Goldthwait Became A True Artist Of Independent Cinema. (Seriously.)
Bobcat Goldthwait, in almost every possible fashion, belongs on the list of those creatures who could only have come of celebrity age in the '80s, along with Emmanuel Lewis, Grace Jones, and Dr. Ruth. When the highlight of your popularity is that you were the star of the second through fourth Police...
The Perfect Comic-Book Movie. <em>The Avengers</em>, Reviewed.
1. The Avengers is a superhero movie so fun, full of so much pure fanboy-wank joy wrapped up in an accessible, relentlessly entertaining package, that I'm not sure anybody needs to make any more comic-book movies; this one might wrap it up. (One suspects they'll still find a way.) Made by and for—bu...
The Worst Summer Movies: The Ones Your Mom Will Like
Somewhere in the world, maybe in a dusty old rotting liberal-arts faculty lounge, maybe in the office where they make that McSweeney's-Grantland Quarterly thing, someone is really excited about The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. It's a "light" comedy opening Friday that stars Judi Dench, Bill Nighy, Ma...
Jack Black Has Overdosed On Himself
There is a moment, I think, when an actor's persona becomes so chiseled and locked-in that it's impossible to accept that person as an actor anymore; he's a movie star now, and that's all he will ever be again. This is not to say this movie star cannot be effective in a film; Tom Cruise hasn't been ...
<em>Scenes From a Marriage</em>, But Longer And With Fart Jokes. <em>The Five-Year Engagement</em>, Reviewed.
1. There are several long stretches in which The Five-Year Engagement is the polar opposite of what anyone would consider "romantic" or "comedy." Jason Segel has always had a tinge of self-aggrandizing self-pity in his characters—the ones he plays, the ones he writes, and both—but for swaths of The ...
It's Hell Becoming A Comfortable And Wealthy Old Filmmaker
It's the fear of any successful creative person, anyone who started their career as a young buck with fire in the belly, all the ambition in the world, all the idealism of the new and stupid: What happens when you make it? What happens when you achieve your goals, early in your life, and you have to...
The Dark Knight Rises, And So Do Our Trousers: The Grierson & Leitch Summer Movie Preview
Back in 1991, your esteemed Grierson & Leitch, then both 16 years old, sat down with this issue of Entertainment Weekly and planned out our holidays. We did not have Box Office Mojo's release calendar, and the Mattoon, Illinois local newspaper wouldn't tell you what movies were playing at the Cinema...
In Praise Of Stupid Laughs. <em>The Three Stooges</em>, Reviewed.
1. An old joke: "Why do women not like The Three Stooges? Because they're not funny." The appeal of The Three Stooges has always been inherently male, predominantly young male, specifically adolescent, glue-sniffing boy. Now, that's not to say that 10-year-olds the world over are obsessed with The T...
Just Three More Months Until <em>The Dark Knight Rises</em>, Folks
It always seems like the summer movie season begins earlier every year, but it doesn't, not really. The unofficial beginning in 2012 is May 4, when The Avengers—a movie that's so big, apparently, that it turned massive tentpole films like Iron Man 2 and Thor into, essentially, prequels—opens wide, f...
Your '90s High School Movie Cast Power Rankings
American Reunion comes out today, and I'll confess to liking it a bit more than Grierson does. I agree that these characters aren't close to interesting enough to justify four movies, but I can't help but admire the simply, ingenious premise: Just turn it into a high school reunion. It's a bit baffl...
<em>Titanic</em>: The Original <em>Twilight</em>
On April 10, 1998, my sister came to visit me in Los Angeles. That was her 18th birthday, and while she was ostensibly heading to Los Angeles to visit her older brother, the real reason she made the trip was to assert her newfound independence: She was gonna get a tattoo....
<em>Slap Shot</em>: The Only Honest Sports Movie
From the very first scene of Slap Shot, the classic hockey film makes its stance clear: The way everybody talks about sports is bullshit. Denis Lemieux, the befuddled language-challenged Charlestown Chiefs goalie, is on television talking to broadcaster Jim Carr, who is trying to get fans to bring t...
Release The Crappin'! <i>Wrath Of The Titans</i>, Reviewed.
1. Everyone looks so bored in Wrath of the Titans that I honestly felt bad for them. Sure, this sequel is an obvious quick-hit money grab, the sort of cash job that it's difficult to raise one's dander for, but hey, that's the reason most movies exist, after all. No, Wrath of the Titans inspires a p...
The End Of The World Will Be Announced By Pat Kiernan
About three minutes into 4:44 Last Day on Earth, an extremely indulgent and stupid movie that opens tomorrow and that you should absolutely not see, NY1 anchor Pat Kiernan stares into the camera and prepares us all to die. If the world is gonna end, if we're all gonna go out together, if that's how ...
Watch Teens Get Snuffed In A Sick Dystopia Where People Like Watching Teens Get Snuffed! <i>The Hunger Games</i>, Reviewed.
1. I feel I need to say this out front about The Hunger Games, since I'd never read the young adult book and wasn't quite sure what I was in for: This movie has a lot of on-screen child murders. Now, maybe on the page, this was less jarring, with the whole inherent textual not-having-to-look-in-the-...
Nicolas Cage, Dying (And Humping January Jones) Before Our Very Eyes
We have reached the point where the release of a new Nicolas Cage movie is less fodder for humor than it is an indignity upon everyone involved with its making. It is odd, actually, that movies like Seeking Justice, which will slink across 250 screens today, less a movie release than a walk of shame...
Channing Tatum Is Funny. Really. <em>21 Jump Street</em>, Reviewed.
1. It's surprising that it took this long for someone to mix the peanut butter of Apatowian bromance comedies with the chocolate of the buddy cop film. They're natural allies, with their undercurrents of false machismo, crippling fear of women and unmistakable male panic. It's tough not to lament th...