emeritus Page 21 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

SHOTY First Round: Chris Cooley Vs. Caitlin Davis
Just two more first-round matchups until we reach the Elite Eight. We haven't had any truly close matchups yet, though it's early. Today, it's Hot Pants/ Naked Playbook Guy Vs. Hot Pants / Goofy Facebook Lady....

SHOTY First Round: Buzz Bissinger Vs. Mike Singletary
Fridays are always good days for mismatches. Most of you have probably skipped out to do holiday shopping anyway — do they still sell the Tickle Me Elmo? — so it makes voting anomalies less likely....

SHOTY First Round: Chris Berman Vs. Kevin Hart
It might seem odd to some of you that Chris Berman would have such a high seed this year. Wasn't his heyday around 2006, YWML time? Well, I would retort that you've had too much of the deux deux deux....

Newspapers Are Revelant And Helpful, Particularly If You Like Ike
On Thanksgiving morning, I picked up a copy of the Columbus (Ga.) Ledger-Enquirer, the daily paper round those parts. I did it out of habit; I was eating an English muffin and needed something to do with my other hand. Whatever your thoughts about the newspaper industry, I think we can all agree tha...

SHOTY First Round: Brett Favre Vs. Baby Mangino
All righty, kids, holidays are over, you have the next month of craziness to streak through — I never notice December has started until it's over — and it all begins now. Time to get serious, people. And nothing's more serious than SHOTY voting....

SHOTY First Round: Mark Cuban Vs. Matt Leinart
It's the day after Thanksgiving! If you have any good sense, you're lying on the floor right now, surrounded by pieces of bird skin, dealing with a nog-throbbing brain and complete with a homicide-scene outline traced with pie crust. Congratulations on getting to this point. You've earned it. Now, ...

SHOTY First Round: Roger Clemens Vs. Vince Young
It's the day before Thanksgiving, and it's difficult to imagine much that would be more enjoyable than voting in the 2008 Deadspin Sportshuman Of The Year tournament. Like you're doing any work today anyway. In fact, you're probably not even in the office right now. Are you reading this from the fu...

Have Sex The Fundamentalist Way, Minus The Robes
The most fascinating story I read all week, without question, was this New York Times story about Rev. Ed Young in Grapevine, Tx. encouraging his parishioners to have sex with each other. Life's gotta be pretty dull for a preacher sometimes — "Lord, forgive me, but if I have to give another endless ...

SHOTY First Round: Isiah Thomas Vs. Nightmare Ant
All right, everybody, it's time for the voting to begin. We'll be going Monday/Wednesday/Friday until the end of the year to get this rolling and prompt-like. But first off: Everybody salute the big pile of genius that is Jim Cooke for his official 2008 SHOTY poster. Bless his heart. Voting will re...

Time For 2008 SHOTY Nominations
The time has come, ladies and gentlefolk. (We're actually starting a little bit late.) The 2008 Sportshuman Of The Year awards are about to grace you with their presence, and, as always, we need your nominations over here. This is the third annual SHOTY tournament. The first winner died, and the se...

Chinese Democracy, 15 Years Down, Five Days To Go
Of all the Guns 'N Roses stories, the "Rocket Queen" one is my favorite. When "Appetite For Destruction" was recorded, the moaning sounds on the album's closer (which might be my favorite G'N'R song, actually), were captured while Adriana Smith, a 19-year-old stripper who had been dating drummer St...

Fire Joe Morgan: The Exit Interview
Like many of you, my heart sank last week when I learned that Fire Joe Morgan announced they were hanging up their purple spikes after, as they put it, "21 years, and almost 40 million posts." Fire Joe Morgan was one of the reasons I got into this blogging game — and what a game it is! — and I'm sur...

This Is Not A Place Either Of Us Want To Be, And For That I Am Sorry
Daulerio asked me to describe my experience at the Rick's Cabaret on Monday night. This is probably the best I can do. Strip clubs are not about decadence, or fantasy, or even commerce. They are, at their core, about interaction. The dance is not delicate, or disguised. This is not a place where som...

Barack Obama Will Not Take Away Your Ties Or Your Hair
I don't remember where I saw it, but about a year-and-a-half ago, in one of those "Hey, there's a cool black guy running for President!" stories, the writer posited that Barack Obama, if he were to somehow win (crazy!), would have something immediately in common with John F. Kennedy: He could destro...

Election Night: An Excuse To Stay Up Past 8:30
Well, it's here. When I was a kid, Election Night was one of the few nights of the year I was allowed to stay up past 8:30. (Seriously, my bedtime was 8:30 until I was a freshman in high school. And you wonder why I still wet the bed.) I never knew who any of the candidates were, or even what the "...

The Machines Shall Rise, And All Will Fall
All right, so the world is imploding. You know this. I know this too, though only because the Wassup Guys told me. Surely, these are the last days, before the global apocalypse rids the planet of humans and leaves only some cockroaches, a few stray strands of hair and, of course, Kermit, because Ke...

World Series Preview: Rays Vs. Phillies
The World Series is truly my favorite week of the year. Having the World Series going on is an excuse that gets you out of anything, every year. No matter what plans I might be forced into, all I have to say is, "Hey, the World Series is on," and people understand. You know how Will gets about his ...

It's Obama And McCain ... AFTER DARK!
So over the weekend, the two candidates for President — Sen. Barack Obama, head of a Muslim sleeper cell, and Sen. John McCain, organizer of the first Hanoi chapter of the Ku Klux Klan — spoke at the Al Smith Dinner, a big Catholic charity event held in Manhattan right before the elections every y...

You Should Probably Stop Having Birthday Parties When You're 11
I turned 33 over the weekend. There's something inherently sad about a single 33-year-old man hosting his own birthday party. I remember when my father turned 33; I was 11. It was my parents, my sister and myself eating tacos and watching the Cardinals game. That was pretty fun. I've had birthday b...

ALCS Preview: Rays Vs. Red Sox
It is perhaps a clear indication that I drink a bit more than I should that, when I saw that the Rays and the Red Sox had both clinched on the same night, I thought, "Whew, good. Now one team won't be more hungover than the other one in Game 1." Hey, sometimes these things matter. I have to speak o...