emo Page 38 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
MLB Uses Memory Of Dead Soldiers To Sell Tacky Baseball Caps
It’s easy to pick on the Red Sox for commercializing our most solemn holiday, but MLB’s greed spans the entire league:...
José Mourinho Needs To Win The Europa League He Once Disdained
José Mourinho, the manager who just a few seasons ago said, “I don’t want to win the Europa League. It would be a big disappointment for me. I don’t want my players to feel the Europa League is our competition,” is now desperate to win the Europa League. And after today’s 1-0 first-leg semifinal win...
Former Mexican Soccer Star, Current Mayor Accused Of Ordering Murder
Cuauhtemoc Blanco, former Mexican international, former Chicago Fire striker, and current mayor of Cuernavaca, has been accused of ordering a gunman to kill a man at the start of the town’s annual fair on April 6, according to reports. ...
The Coach I Never Forgot
Sheik Caputo never saw Paris or the Pyramids, but he did make it to New York for the 1956 World Series, and that was as far as he ever wanted to travel. The Series was one of those sustaining events, like outrunning his son when 50 was on the horizon and the kid could fly. It gave him faith even tho...
Eli Manning Asked Giants Equipment Manager For Helmets "That Can Pass As Game Used"
A civil action filed against the New York Giants, CEO John Mara, and quarterback Eli Manning contains emails that plaintiff/collector Eric Inselberg claims prove Manning knowingly passed off memorabilia as game-used with the help of equipment manager Joe Skiba....
Confessions Of A Petty Citrus Thief
Perhaps the best perk of living in California, better than proximity to robber barons or weed, is the ubiquitous presence of fruit trees. Anecdotally speaking, everyone has a dang lemon, orange, plum, or avocado tree. Even when our fair state was in the worst throes of the mega drought, one could gr...
Hector Figueroa Wants To Make The Democrats Fight Back
There is one reason why building workers in New York City can make a living wage: the Service Employees International Union’s 32BJ local. The union is the size of a small city, it’s vocal, and its president wants a wholesale reimagining of Democratic party politics in the Trump era....
The Marlins' Spring Training Inspiration Included Smashing A Cinderblock On Don Mattingly's Chest
The Marlins have had a hell of an offseason—grappling with the September death of their best player, José Fernández, coupled with a series of rather insane political and business rumors about team owner and disgusting rich person Jeffrey Loria. So it’s perhaps not surprising that they felt the need ...
Would You Eat A Peeled Banana That Other People Touched?<em></em>
Manchester United’s Marcos Rojo brought a glimmer of excitement to an otherwise dull afternoon of Europa League soccer by eating a banana. United was up 1-0 over Rostov in the second leg of the round of 16, when Rojo, apparently, felt like he was cramping up and requested a nanner. ...
Mark Aguirre Was Never Going To Fail
This feature originally appeared in the March 31, 1981 edition of Inside Sports. It appears here with the author’s permission....
Jose Mourinho Talks More Shit, Says "Judas Is No. 1"
Nothing—not losing, not winning, and certainly not cascading jeers from fans of his former club—will stop Jose Mourinho from talking heaps of trash. The man simply cannot help himself. On Monday, the fighting words came after Manchester United’s 1-0 loss to Chelsea in the FA Cup quarterfinal, during...
José Mourinho Believes He Did Chelsea A Huge Favor By Being So Terrible Last Season
José Mourinho thinks he deserves credit for Chelsea’s success this season. You can tell that this is true because he has said the exact opposite....
Tiny Russian Boy Meets José Mourinho, Can't Contain His Joy
If you’d like to see what the sentence “Oh my god, this is the coolest thing that has ever happened to me!” looks like when played out in real life, this Russian kid’s reaction to seeing José Mourinho in the tunnel before yesterday’s Rostov-Manchester United match will do the trick:...
Wake Forest's Greg McClinton Nails Casual Buzzer-Beater From Goddamn Mars
Greg McClinton must have played football or something, because this overhander was as nice as pie....
Democratic Process Gives Every Idiot A Voice
The true spirit of our Founding Fathers was celebrated this week in Bayonne, New Jersey, where the local quacks, racists, and morons were allowed to voice their stupid views at a zoning hearing. ...
Junior Hockey Player Climbs Over Glass To Brawl With Fans During Game, Loses Shirt
In what might be the most Canadian sentence written this year, a New Brunswick Junior Hockey League game Saturday at Lord Beaverbrook Rink between the Southern Sting and Grand Lake Moose featured a brawl in the stands after one of the players hopped over the glass to fight with fans....
After Getting His Head Stomped On, Zlatan Ibrahimović Explains Elbowing Tyrone Mings: "It Was Unlucky He Jumped Into My Elbow"
Both Tyrone Mings and Zlatan Ibrahimović somehow avoided penalties after swapping some nasty plays in Manchester United and Bournemouth’s 1-1 draw today. After first clashing when Ibrahimović seemingly pushed Mings to the ground, things really got heated just before halftime when Ibrahimović tripped...
Celebrity Democrats Fuck Off
We have just witnessed the incredible spectacle of a vile right-wing celebrity being elected President of the United States. There is a right lesson—and a wrong one!—for Democrats to take from this. ...
John Collins Might Just Will Wake Forest Into The Tournament
As was the case with several bubble teams, the last couple games of the regular season have been crucial for Wake Forest. Entering Wednesday night’s clash with No. 8 Louisville at 16-12 and 7-9 in conference play, the Demon Deacons desperately needed a signature upset to separate themselves from the...
Mesut Özil Recounts Ridiculously Dramatic Tiff With José Mourinho In New Book
If you hear about this anecdote from Mesut Özil’s forthcoming autobiography excerpted in Bild, it will probably focus on the fact that when Özil and José Mourinho were at Real Madrid, they once got into an argument in which Mourinho called Özil a coward. This is true, and pretty interesting in itsel...