emo Page 64 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Happy Girl, Sad Girl: Shawn Johnson And Dominique Moceanu Tell The Two Stories People Want From Their Sport
American coverage of women's gymnastics falls squarely into one of two camps: tales of plucky, lovable teens wearing their perma-smiles to the winners' podium, or exposés of the sport's seedy underbelly, of eating disorders, abusive training methods, of cruel coaches and broken bodies. It's either N...

The Olympics Opening Ceremony? Giant Voldemort Fighting 30 Mary Poppinses, Obviously
London's Sunday Times is reporting that Friday's Olympics opening ceremony may not be unwatchably boring. According to Yahoo, which excerpted parts of the Times' subscription-only story, a 40-foot Voldemort (hologram? parade float? ventriloquist's dummy?) will take center stage for the ceremony and ...

<em>Appetite For Destruction</em> At 25: Memories From Matt Taibbi, Justine Bateman, And More
Last week, I celebrated the 25th anniversary of Appetite for Destruction by telling the story of the first time I listened to the album. Here's a collection of stories from other writers (and from readers, too) about their experiences with the album. ...

<em>Appetite For Destruction</em> At 25: One Horny Young Boy's Recollection
The first kid in my middle school to discover Appetite for Destruction was a big football player named Si. Everyone in my class was terrified of Si because Si was the only kid in our grade who had gotten pubes. You walked into the shower and in the crowd of hairless penises was this big kid with a m...

Cam Newton Is Charging For Autographs. The Horror!
If you're getting ready to judge an athlete for something they said or did, take a breath. Are you outraged because their actions were morally indefensible? Or are you outraged because a columnist says you should be outraged? Because it's a columnist's job to read the paper and find something to get...

Here's How You Score On A Bunt With The Bases Empty
Softball's been eliminated from the Olympics (mostly because the U.S. is too good at it) which makes the World Cup Of Softball the sport's premier international event. Last night's 3-0 championship win over Australia continued to prove American dominance in softball, and no play demonstrates it m...

Pucks, Lies, And Videotape: Where Is The Kings' Stanley-Cup-Winning Puck?
The last puck of the Stanley Cup Finals: an important relic, timeless for the player who gets to keep it as a souvenir of the greatest achievement of his profession life, yet strangely secondary. In the rush to celebrate the final horn, not a single member of the Kings gave a thought to that little ...

Jamie Moyer Is Becoming Baseball's Very Own Willy Loman
Moyer, if you'll recall, started the season with the Colorado Rockies and was soon designated for assignment after going 2-5. He then signed a minor league deal with the Baltimore Orioles. A clause in that contract required the Orioles to either promote Moyer to the big league club or release him a...

Memo: Layoffs Coming To <em>Sports Illustrated</em>
Job cuts are coming to Sports Illustrated and now we have a rougher idea of how many people are getting cut....


Steve Urkel Threw Out The First Pitch In Washington, D.C. Yesterday
The problem with playing such a well-known and ridiculous character is that you completely lose any kind of personal identity you had before playing that character. We all know his name is Jaleel White, but who would ever call him that?...

Accuser: Jerry Sandusky Called Himself The "Tickle Monster" Before Touching Him In Shower
We'll have a more comprehensive roundup of the last two days of testimony at the Jerry Sandusky trial a bit later, but here's something particularly icky that just couldn't wait: An alleged victim who took the stand this morning said Sandusky referred to himself as the "tickle monster" before huggin...

Mexican Drug Lords Launder Money Through Horse Racing, U.S. Government Alleges
There's a lot that's terribly shadowy and evil about the sport of horse racing, from the dead horses on set at HBO's Luck to the dead horses at the Aqueduct to the dead horses really anywhere horses race....

Tiger Woods Streaks Back To Win The Memorial Thanks To This Astounding Chip-In At 16
He's back! Maybe! While Tiger Woods is casting a somewhat-less-imposing shadow these days (blame the therapeutic shoes) his round today was nothing short of amazing—battling illness, he came from behind to win the Memorial in Dublin, increase his tour ranking to #4, and inspire the sort of expect...

Seriously, Cheer Up, Snow White. <i>Snow White and the Huntsman</i>, Reviewed.
For all the money that was spent on Snow White and the Huntsman, apparently there wasn't any allotment in the budget for enjoyment. This movie exists in an universe where any visual wonder can occur but not a single character ever cracks a smile. If you watch event movies lately, you know that there...

Metta World Peace Wishes You All A Happy Labor Day
In a way, it is sort of fitting that World Peace can't remember Memorial Day, but we're guessing this has less to do with Metta being meta and more to do with Metta being Metta. Enjoy it....

Look Mom, No Hands: Home Run Edition
Old Man Moyer will be shaking his cane at kids for days after this one. On a day when he gave up four home runs and allowed seven runs against the Cincinnati Reds, this right here will stick in his craw most. Todd Frazier hit a home run in the bottom of the fourth by essentially throwing his bat at...

Deadspin's Memorial Day Weekend Barbecue Recipe Swap
I know we've got a few foodies in our ranks here and this being a big barbecue party weekend I figured today would be a good day to do a good old fashioned recipe swap. "Sean, is that a thing?" Well, I don't know, but I'm going to share my favorite recipe (full list of ingredients below, for your c...

This Is One Gorgeous KKK Baseball Bat, But It's Still A KKK Baseball Bat
Father's Day is coming up. What do you get for the man who has everything and hates everyone? Luke Scott's fungo bat This 1936 Ku Klux Klan baseball bat....

Jamie Moyer Continues To Break Every Oldest Baseball Player's Record
Record-breaking old man Jamie Moyer, who legend has it is older than dirt, legged out a two-run infield single tonight, becoming the geezeriest ballplayer to ever drive in a run. Pitcher Jack Quinn of the Brooklyn Dodgers was 48 years, 11 months, and six days when he hit a three-run double back in ...