emo Page 66 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Joe Morgan Will Lead The World's Largest Chicken Dance For Cincinnati's Oktoberfest
We—all of us, here with our computers and our calculators and our Moneyballs—fired Joe Morgan from ESPN's Sunday Night Baseball last year. Poor Joe now toils in the Cincinnati Reds front office, advising Walt Jocketty on which mediocre outfielder has the most hustle. ("It might be Chris Heisey, but ...
Jamie Moyer Will Begin Rehab And Hopes To Pitch In 2012, Despite That Whole Turning 49 Years Old Thing
The Phillies have steamrolled the National League this year, and it seems like they've been doing that a lot lately. But they've done it without their soft-tossing lefty on-field mascot, Jamie Moyer, whose slow, painful, surprising march to 300 wins was undone last year by his ulnar collateral ligam...
Looks Like The DePaul Assistant Coach's Home May Not Have Been Robbed After All
In the interest of fairness to unknown but besmirched burglars everywhere, here's a follow-up to the "Today In Horrible Quotes" post from yesterday morning. It was about a bummer of a break-in, but Act II features a police source telling the press that things may not have gone down as reported. Sta...
Today In Horrible Quotes
"My father [William] was the first black that played basketball in the Big 10. They took that jersey and his Globetrotter jersey. They also took my son's city championship ring and oxygen tank." — DePaul assistant basketball coach Billy Garrett, upon finding his Chicago home had been cleaned out by...
Dead Comedian Of The Week: Andy Kaufman, The Unlikely Bombthrower
For Comedy Week, we're running a handful of tributes in the vein of our Dead Wrestler of the Week series. Here, from the best book ever written about stand-up comedy, Phil Berger's The Last Laugh, we look at the evolution of Andy Kaufman, meshuga provocateur....
Dead Comedian Of The Week: Mitch Hedberg, The Comic's Comic
For Comedy Week, we're running a handful of tributes in the vein of our Dead Wrestler of the Week series. Here, the Masked Man looks at the legacy of Mitch Hedberg, the surrealist who developed a cult following before his death in 2005—and an even bigger one after his death....
Dead Comedian Of The Week: Vaughn Meader, Assassination Victim
For Comedy Week, we're running a handful of tributes in the vein of our Dead Wrestler of the Week series. Here, Alexander Woo, a writer and co-executive producer for HBO's True Blood, eulogizes Vaughn Meader, the wildly popular JFK impersonator whose star plummeted after the assassination of his sub...
Jon Miller Still Pissed At ESPN For Firing Him
The gang at 790 The Ticket in Miami, the Marlins' flagship station and an ESPN outpost, wanted to do something swell for Dave Van Horne, who is receiving the Baseball Hall of Fame's Ford C. Frick Award tomorrow. So they decided to put together a montage of congratulatory clips from other Hall of Fa...
Kentucky Demolition Derby Winner Charged With DUI After Winning Demolition Derby
Bad hoodoo from the Jessamine County Fair. Dark times. A champion laid low. On Wednesday, David L. Warner Jr., of Nicholasville, Ky., drove a beaut of a derby in the ultra-competitive small car class. Warner demolished many things on his way to the title. But instead of getting to enjoy his victory,...
The Fan Who Caught Jeter's Ball Still Has A Few Hundred Thousand Dollars In Student Loan Debt
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Christian Lopez probably should have taken an econ class....
When Life Gave An Elderly Pervert A Lemonade Stand, He "Repeatedly Rubbed His Breast And Groin"
Sweet Christ, did a 79-year-old convicted sex offender from Somers Point, NJ really approach a lemonade stand across the street from the police station and get all self-grabby in front of three young girls, none of whom were older than 14?...
Goodbye, Mancession. Hello, He-Covery.
Today's jobs report for June managed to stun economists with its overall shittiness. But separate numbers suggest that what recovery we do have is disproportionately benefiting men. We have a new cute term for this: he-covery. [Jezebel]...
Here's A Nice Lady Fan Peeing In Her Seat (NSFW)
We know. The line to the ladies room is long. We sympathize. But still: ew ew ew....
The Downfall Of Barry Halper, Baseball Collecting's Bernie Madoff (UPATE)
Read the full story here....
Help Awful Announcing Decide Who's Just As Awful As Joe Morgan
Awful Announcing will remove Joe Morgan from the Lincoln spot on its Mt. Rushmore of awful announcers. They'll replace him with the readers' choice in a 32-person summer tournament. Today: Reilly-Harrelson and Paige-Bayless. Go forth exercise your right! [Reilly-Harrelson, Paige-Bayless]...
Celebrate Independence Eve By Watching A Cute Kid Allow The First Fish He Ever Caught To Live Another Day
Teddy's dad Mike sent this link in earlier this afternoon. He thought you might like to see it. So, now presenting "Teddy catching his first fish ever, naming it 'Free' and releasing it back to the wild."...
Let's Check In With Mork "Hunting Bait" Encino
Now that word is out that $12,000 will allegedly afford you the right to spend 24 hours hunting a naked Mork Encino, he's none too worried about the fact that somebody claims to have GPS-located where the pictures on his website HuntMe4Sport.com were taken. Here's what had to say via email yesterda...
Intel Executive Wonders Moronically "What Intel Can Learn from Miami Heat's Recent Loss"
Let's watch a bunch of Intel employees draw a lot of silly corporate lessons from the failure of one really good basketball team to beat another really good basketball, shall we? First, here's an executive's blog post, written on the company's internal site and passed along by a tipster. We've left ...
The Right Place At The Right Time: Remembering Lorenzo Charles
In the photographs of that moment, he doesn't show an expression of power, of joy, of triumph or even relief. His eyebrows are arched back, his eyes are wide, his face drawn into a grimace. N.C. State's Lorenzo Charles does not look like a man dunking a basketball, but rather a man returning to Eart...
Channing Crowder's Jersey And The NCAA's Land Of Make Believe
Channing Crowder talks in hypotheticals. "Hypothetically," he says, he doesn't have any more of his old Florida jerseys. Some local businessmen, he says, really liked his play. "Hypothetically."...