emo Page 71 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Pukey Phillies Fan Cops A Plea; His Crazy Uncle Weighs In
Matthew Clemmens pleaded guilty today to assault; he's expected to receive probation. But the real news is that we heard back from his conspiracy theorist uncle!...

Mourinho Celebrates With Incredible Display Of Spitting
For those of you too busy pinking up your faces and sloshing back summertime pints, Jose Mourinho had a great night on Saturday, bagging another Champions League trophy, before celebrating with a home made water fountain. Some highlights after the jump....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Junkyard Dog
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Junkyard Dog, who died in a one-car accident in 1998....

Bengie Molina's Outrage At ESPN Is Slowly Rounding Third
Molina has declared himself unamused by the SportsCenter clip you see here, in which the Giants catcher is lightly mocked for running from second to home like the QE2 steaming into port. This from a guy whose Wikipedia entry calls him slow....

Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat-Geek Mockery: Dan Shaughnessy And Pudding
Ladies and germs, I give you Dan Shaughnessy, from his aforementioned Globe column:...

Here's An Exclusive Clip From Tonight's <em>Parks And Recreation</em>, Featuring Detlef Schrempf
Friend of the site Ken Tremendous/Michael Schur/Mose Schrute broke a lot of hearts when he left Fire Joe Morgan to create and executive produce Parks and Recreation, but it's probably for the best....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Yokozuna
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Yokozuna, who died of a heart attack in 2000....

Let Us Raise Our Arms In Salute To Juan Antonio Samaranch
That's the late IOC president, fourth from right, indulging in a little fascist nostalgia in 1974. Charlie Pierce has a fine sendoff for the old Falangist, of whom it should be said that he made the bribes run on time. [Pierce]...

Victor Conte Leaks "Sugar" Shane Mosley PED Admission
Mosley is suing Conte because he claims he didn't know what was in those injections he was getting from BALCO. That's a little harder to believe after Conte blew up his spot by releasing video of Mosley's deposition....

DePaul Wraps Up Its Coaching Search From Hell By Pissing Off The Wrong People
Following a blunder- and rejection-filled search, DePaul finally decided on Clemson's Oliver Purnell. Sounds like a good hire: basement-dwelling big-conference team nabs someone who marginally improved another basement-dwelling big-conference team. So why are Chicago hoops figures apoplectic?...

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Chris Kanyon
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Chris Kanyon, who was found dead Friday in his Queens, New York, apartment after an apparent suicide....

"Dead" Wrestler Of The Week: The Ultimate Warrior
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: The Ultimate Warrior, who according to rumor died in 1991. This is an investigation into that "death." [Update, April 9, 2014: He's dead, accor...

The (Other) Least Desirable Gig In College Basketball
Maybe I was using hyperbole with my headline yesterday — or maybe I just forgot about DePaul. I've read your plaintive emails, and I agree. The search for the Blue Demons' next head coach is proving just as pitiful....

"Paris Hilton Was Taking It From Behind From Some Rock Star..."
Here are some fun recollections from one former MTV producer who worked on several of the network's debauchery-filled Spring Break broadcasts in the early 2000's. He wishes to remain anonymous....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: André The Giant
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: André the Giant, who died of a heart attack in 1993. He was 46....

Fighter Jet Flyover Threatens, Thrills Thousands
Two Navy fighter pilots were grounded after buzzing a Georgia Tech game at the decidedly unsafe altitude of just a few hundred feet....

Hellacious Clergymen Try To Put Down Endowed Steers: Wake Forest-Texas Open Thread (NAIL BITER ALERT)
The Longhorns have had a crazy season, but they've got the talent to go on a run if they can get around Al-Farouq Aminu and Skip Prosser's Ghost. Comment and coordinate who to blame if this turns into a brick-fest....

DePaul Coach Search Reaches New Low
DePaul, basketball head coachless since January 11, has posted the opening on the university's careers website. Can you say, "Quentin Richardson is not walking through that door?" You're qualified. [Tremendous Upside Potential]...

Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat Acronym Humor
Ladies and germs, I give you Jerry Thornton of WEEI....

Tim Tebow's Signature Will Save Our Economy
The world's greatest undrafted free agent held his first "official" autograph signing last weekend and since he's no longer an amateur, his signature will now cost you a pretty penny. Or $160 if you want to get technical about it....