emo Page 72 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
All The News That's Fit To Analogize Ridiculously To Food
Your food metaphor of the day, courtesy The New York Times: "We all know the cliché that a prosecuting attorney can persuade a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich, but Clemens — and Barry Bonds, with his trial scheduled for next March — are not mere ham sandwiches but rather the prime beef of baseba...
Dead Wrestler Of The Week: What Lance Cade's Death Means For Linda McMahon's Senate Bid
Every week or so, the Masked Man honors the wrestling's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Lance Cade, who died on Friday of heart failure. He was 29. Already his death has become an issue in former WWE CEO Linda McMahon's Senate campaign....
The Latest Attempt To Satanize Your Children: School Mascots
A Georgia pastor was arrested for protesting (without a permit) his son's high school's nickname, the Demons. Never mind that it's actually named for a WWII squadron. No one tell the pastor about Wake Forest; his head would explode. [WMAZ]...
X-Games Flasher, Large Photo Make For R-Rated Where's Waldo
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Pudgy Philly Puker To The Pokey
Matthew Clemmens will spend 60 to 90 days in jail, and do community service (the judge suggested cleaning bathrooms at Citizens Bank Park) after pleading guilty to assault, harassment and disorderly conduct. We're awaiting comment from crazy uncle Dave. [Inquirer]...
The King and His $49.5 Million Castle
This probably can't be stated as fact until He says it's so during ESPN's upcoming "Real-Estate Decision" extravaganza. However, word from LeBron subjects in the Coral Gables dominion is that His Eminence has taken a liking to a castle along Biscayne Bay. What better way to support Your PR talking ...
When Notre Dame Football Players Get Arrested, Touchdown Jesus Weeps
Ain't no party like a South Bend party, cause by the time a South Bend house party gets stopped by police, someone's hand is going to get lacerated and some police officer's camera is going to take a mugshot of Joe Montana's son Nate....
David Ortiz Swears In Spanish During Home Run Derby, Announcers Hilariously Mistranslate
During his first round of derbying, David Ortiz took a break to wipe himself down and sip some of Rafael Soriano's Gatorade. Then he said "pussy" in Spanish, and Berman and Joe Morgan thought he meant something else. Let's break it down....
Top 13 Subject Lines Of Emails Received From Nick Denton
I've worked at Gawker Media for over four years and in that time have received numerous emails from owner Nick Denton. These are my favorites. See if you can guess which site I was writing for when I got them....
Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Road Warrior Hawk
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Michael Hegstrand, aka Road Warrior Hawk, who died in 2003 of a heart attack. He was 46....
Last Night's Winner: The Man Who Feasted On John Isner's Dessicated Corpse
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like unseeded Thiemo De Bakker, who was granted a rare Wimbledon bye by being matched up with the injured, exhausted Isner....
World Cup Open Thread: Serbia-Ghana
Serbia tries to turn off The Black Stars. Aleksander Hemon is confused as to whom to root for. Serbia. Ghana. World fucking Cup. Read some Aleksander Hemon before the game, he's the tops....
Philadelphia's Pukemon Photographed In The Wild
...from my girlfriend's boss in Bethlehem, PA of the puking Philly fan (in blue)…It was sent via his phone this morning at the Hampton Hotel…Looks like he starts pre-gaming pretty early…especially considering the Phils are in Boston tonight. — Brian W....
Jim Nantz Honors Justin Rose With Emotional Reading Of Bette Midler Classic
Justin Rose got his first PGA tour victory over the weekend at the Memorial tournament, which allowed Jim Nantz to reach deep into his back catalog of allusions. This week: Hocus Pocus chanteuse Bette Midler....
Dead Wrestling Company Of The Week: Extreme Championship Wrestling
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Extreme Championship Wrestling, the notoriously bloody wrestling promotion that went bankrupt in 2001....
In Honor Of Memorial Day Weekend, Here's A Children's Treasury Of People Failing At The Art Of BBQ
Memorial Day is great: it's the unofficial beginning of summer, Jurassic Park 2 comes out if it's 1997, Saving Private Ryan is on somewhere, swimming in public bodies of water becomes socially acceptable again, and barbecue. All the wonderful barbecue....
North Korean Soccer Gear Is Must-Have Irony Of The Season
Your friend who always has to be "That Guy" is probably one of the many "collectors" searching for a DPRK soccer kit as we speak. Maybe you could score a game-worn in exchange for a loaf of bread. [WSJ]...
Pukey Phillies Fan Cops A Plea; His Crazy Uncle Weighs In
Matthew Clemmens pleaded guilty today to assault; he's expected to receive probation. But the real news is that we heard back from his conspiracy theorist uncle!...
Mourinho Celebrates With Incredible Display Of Spitting
For those of you too busy pinking up your faces and sloshing back summertime pints, Jose Mourinho had a great night on Saturday, bagging another Champions League trophy, before celebrating with a home made water fountain. Some highlights after the jump....