emo Page 73 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Searching For....The Person Who Stole Grady Sizemore's Coffee Cup-Penis Photos From His Computer
Because Mr. Sizemore has requested an MLB detective help find the culprit. I'd check here and here, first, but it appears a Sizemore stalker still roams the internets. Be on high alert. Probably for this lady....

Grady Sizemore Does His Bit To Increase Our Female Readership
Sizemore joins Santonio Holmes and Jeff Reed in the pantheon of Rust Belt athletes who take dong shots in the mirror with their cell phones. Grady's Ladies have declared a national holiday....

The Perfect Gift For The Kris Brown Fan In Your Life
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

From The Desk Of George Bodenheimer: "Class, Dignity And Integrity"
Hey, look! It's another memo from ESPN President George Bodenheimer! And today he wants to tell his employees about all the exciting things his company is doing to slow its steady transformation into Connecticut's answer to Gomorrah....

Come On Down To Crazy Joe's Big Red Machines!
Always one to stay ahead of the curve, Joe Morgan has decided that now is the time to get into the booming business of auto sales. At Joe Morgan Honda, your starter's Won-Loss Percentage is your credit! [Cincinnati.com]...

The TD Stands for Touchdown
The ex-CEO of TD Ameritrade wants to be a D1 football coach. I don't think any SEC coaches are willing to switch jobs with him, as being a Fortune 500 CEO would mean a pay cut for them. [Omaha World-Herald]...

I Know It's Preseason, But — Le Moyne?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Coach Tries Knife Threats To Get Through To Players
Revolutionary motivational techniques from a prep school football assistant coach: practice harder or I'll cut you....

<em>Chicago Trib</em> Begins Overhaul Of Sports Section With Some Two-Fisted Memo Writing
"Much like the Cubune myth, the conventional wisdom among some in Chicago has been that our pals across the way have the better Sports section. ... Pardon the Hoosier in me rising up, but that's bull shit." [Romenesko]...

HGH Is P.O.'ed At T.O.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

You, Too, Can Absorb Blake Griffin's Power
Sports memorabilia blogger Andrew Long certainly thought so. So he met up with Griffin at an organized autograph session and presented him with a delicious sandwich. Griffin graciously signed both halves and then Long devoured one, believing that Blake's lifeforce, transferred via bread, will bestow...

September: <em>Fin</em>.
We produce a lot of posts every month. Most of them disappear quickly. Some of them don't. Here are the 10 most popular posts from September, ranked low to high....

And Speaking Of Winning Organizations...
The Washington Nationals held a everything-must-go! charity auction over the weekend which included autographed baseballs from the likes of Wily Mo Pena and Ray King. [NationalsEnquirer]...

"The Stadium Died At 9:24"
See also: Tiger Stadium Leveled to Final Shovel of Dust [Sports Climax]...

The Relatively Short Goodbye Part II
Goodbye, cruel internet. Again....

Expository Writing
Hi everyone! Did you guys say you wanted us to write another thing about Derek Jeter? Okay! Your funeral!!!...

Adrian Peterwho?
Sure, we don't know our football all that well. But that's actually part of the reason we feel pretty justified calling bullshit on Tom Curran's list of "Five Players Ready to Become NFL Superstars."...

The Exception That Proves Exactly Nothing
One of our favorite gambits here at FJM is the old "use the exception that proves the rule to yell at someone for not thinking the exception is the rule" gambit....

"What-If" The "What-If"
Steroids steroids steroids, you crazy son of a bitch. What have you gone and done now? You've made Gene Wojciechowski write this little bit of insanity....
