emo Page 73 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

You Wanted The Best, You Got The Best, The Hottest Non-Working Blog In The World...Fire Joe Morgan
Lock up your Plaschkes and hide your David Eckstein bobbleheads tomorrow, shitbirds, because Ken Tremendous, DAK, and Junior return to plunge a pointy stake into the flaccid heart of sports journalism once again. Who's excited? GETEXCITED....

Do You Believe In Owning A Sad, Bedridden Ex-Hockey Player's Cherished Keepsake? Yes!
A gold medal that once belonged to Mark Wells, the last player selected for the 1980 "Miracle on Ice" hockey team, now laid low by a genetic disease of the spinal cord, is going up for auction. [Puck Daddy]...

Look At The Fucking End Of This Trend: Sayonara, Hoopsters
The Hoopsters brought us a lot of enjoyment over the last two months. However, now that summer's over and the New York Times is writing about them—and quoting me—it's time to say goodbye....

Has Jose Mourinho Got A Spot Of OCD Happening?
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....

Guy Without Arms or Legs Swims the English Channel
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Today, In Unintentional Rape Puns
Obviously this headline is a pun on the Orem Owlz's playoff opponents, the Raptors. Not anything else. Don't know why anyone would think that. [MiLB.com, H/T Jared]...

Pete Rose: “Don’t Do Like Me”
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Pete Rose....

The Champions League Is Harder To Win Than The World Cup, Lies Jose Mourinho
As reported on the popular Spanish website, Sport.es, Jose Mourinho's mouth has once again kicked into action before the logic part of his brain, as he muttered these words:...

Deadspin Classic: ESPN's Secret Interoffice Complaint Memorandum
Originally published July 17, 2007...

Cincinnati Reds To Commemorate 9/11 With Action-Packed Navy SEAL Demonstration
Tomorrow's Reds game will be a gala affair. They're celebrating Pete Rose breaking the hits record, honoring local firemen, and since it's 9/11, some Navy SEALs will be on hand to conduct an "extraction simulation" before delivering the game ball. [Cincinnati Enquirer]...

Deadspin Classic: The First Leaked ESPN Memo
Originally published Oct. 16, 2006...

Help Your Friends At Fire Joe Morgan Make Fun Of Bad Sportswriting
Remember: Fire Joe Morgan returns to Deadspin on Sept. 22. If you come across any atrocious sportswriting in your daily reading—never doubt that someone, somewhere, is saying too nice things about David Eckstein—send a link to [email protected]....

The Prettiest, Most Rigorous Examination Of Bobblehead Giveaways You'll See
The great Craig Robinson of Flip Flop Fly Ball has produced the graphic you're looking at, from which you learn, among other things, that the Brewers hate their current roster, and the Marlins are cheap bastards. Click to enlarge. [Flipflopflyin.com]...

Cut Loose: A Montage Of Movie Dancing
Sure this video starts off as a montage of people opening and closing doors, but by the time it's over, you've seen one of the better tributes to cinematic two-stepping. Enjoy. [Kottke, via Skeets]...

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Owen Hart
Every week or so, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Owen Hart, who fell to his death in 1999 during a WWE pay-per-view event....

Real-Life Lady Football Coach Story Not Going As Well As Lady Football Coach Movie
Natalie Randolph is a woman. But she's also a high school football coach in Washington D.C. Is your mind blown yet? It shouldn't be. We've been here before....

All The News That's Fit To Analogize Ridiculously To Food
Your food metaphor of the day, courtesy The New York Times: "We all know the cliché that a prosecuting attorney can persuade a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich, but Clemens — and Barry Bonds, with his trial scheduled for next March — are not mere ham sandwiches but rather the prime beef of baseba...

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: What Lance Cade's Death Means For Linda McMahon's Senate Bid
Every week or so, the Masked Man honors the wrestling's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Lance Cade, who died on Friday of heart failure. He was 29. Already his death has become an issue in former WWE CEO Linda McMahon's Senate campaign....

The Latest Attempt To Satanize Your Children: School Mascots
A Georgia pastor was arrested for protesting (without a permit) his son's high school's nickname, the Demons. Never mind that it's actually named for a WWII squadron. No one tell the pastor about Wake Forest; his head would explode. [WMAZ]...

X-Games Flasher, Large Photo Make For R-Rated Where's Waldo
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....