emo Page 80 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after reading your kids a bedtime story ... • NBA: Eastern Conference semifinals, Game 2, Cleveland at Boston (7 p.m., ET); Western Conference semifinals, Game 3, New Orleans at San Antonio (9:30 p.m., ET). We welcome our new Hornets overlords. I can be helpful in finding people to toi...

Excavating Joe Montana For Fun And Profit
The professional snoopers at The Smoking Gun have uncovered their latest oddball lawsuit between Hall of Fame quarterback Joe Montana and his ex-wife, Kim Moses, pertaining to the auction sale of some personal items from his college days including a photo I.D. and sappy love letters (one on a Ziggy ...

Streakin' Ain't Easy
Unless, of course, you are Tiffany May, who reached mid-level internet notoriety thanks to her patriotic half-streak during the USA v. Honduras qualifying match last March. May has parlayed her spirited underwear dash into a Playboy pictorial, where she will bravely ditch the rest of her clothes and...

Place Bets On The Next NBA Stoner
This has certainly been covered elsewhere — most excellently by TrueHoop - but we really can't get over the "Josh Howard is a terrible person for smoking weed" meme. As Henry Abbott put it, "We're not alarmed that one young person smoked pot. We're alarmed that anyone admitted it." Fitting, not even...

What's The Best Sport To Watch On TV While You're High? A Balls Deep Special JOURNALISTIC Investigation!
This is BALLS DEEP With Big Daddy Drew (Balls® is a registered trademark and has been used with the expressed written consent of AJ Daulerio). It's gonna be like an SI Point After column, only with dick jokes. You can email him here....

Who's Sorry Now? Melo Edition
There is possibly no one on earth who is sorrier than Carmelo Anthony right now; his DUI arrest on Monday has placed him in a state of regret that can actually be seen from space. Call it the Great Wall of Remorse. We just couldn't ignore it here at Who's Sorry Now. Here's his statement, found on th...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize that HBO is rerunning Deadwood episodes, so time is at a premium ... • Boxing: Super middleweights, Peter Quillin vs. Antwun Echols, at New York (10 p.m. ET, same-day tape). Don't tell me who won! (Claps hands over ears). [ESPN2] • MLB: Boston at New York Yankees (7 p.m....

Media Approval Ratings: Joe Morgan
Joe Morgan is the perfect example of a guy who has never benefited by a more analytical fan. Before fans began developing their own systems and qualifications, Joe Morgan was the type of guy who could make statements with certainty, and, because it was a lazy Sunday night, we might have let them fly...

Carl Eller Doesn't Know How Fast He Was Driving
Last week, Daulerio gave you a few tips on how to make it through a potential DUI stop. Former Minnesota Vikings Hall of Famer Carl Eller has a new one, one we hadn't considered: Simply punching the police officer in the face....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch when your good friend Iona Knipl comes over ... • Women's college basketball: NCAA Division I tournament championship game, Tennessee vs. Stanford in Tampa (8:30 p.m., ET). I would not like to be in the middle if Tara and Pat get into a brawl. [ESPN] • MLB: Cardinals at Astros (8:05 p....

A Final Four Without One Shining Moment
England's the country with the silent "u" in a lot of words, like colour and parlour, right? Yet both Brits and Yanks spell it "Final Four." And what's the deal with Ovaltine? Britain's FA Cup is down to four (finally!), starting the semifinal madness with West Bromfield Albion and Portsmouth. Neith...

Sleep Like Mike
If you've got extra space in your crib and have asked yourself recently, "What's a great way to blow some of my hard-earned cash on a completely unverifiable piece of athlete memorabilia?" then today is yours to rejoice in: You could be the owner of Michael Jordan's old, dirty water bed from when he...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you say goodbye to the current NCAA 3-point line ... • College basketball: NCAA Division I tournament, first round (noon and 7 p.m., ET). Sadly, your brackets committed suicide late last night. [CBS] • Figure skating: ISU World Figure Skating Championships, women's short program and...

Who's Sorry Now? Golf Edition
It's bad enough that your name is John Henry Isenhour III. But now word has leaked that you killed a protected species of hawk with a golf drive, on purpose, and there are criminal charges pending against you. Poor dumb sap. The only thing remaining of course is a phony, slapdash apology. Take it aw...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while packing for camp ... • College basketball: AP's account of UCLA's overtime win over Stanford fails to mention the absolutely brutal call against the Cardinal's Lawrence Hill with two seconds left in regulation that handed the Bruins the Pac-10 title. • NBA: Los Spurs have won 1...


About Last Night
What you missed while taking Will to the airport in a rickshaw ... • College women's basketball: Vivian Stringer joins the 800 Club. Don Imus apologizes out of habit. • NBA: LeBron's milestone doesn't impress the Celtics all that much. • NHL: Not tonight, I have a Paddock ... just wanted to say that...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Dateline's Chris Hansen reads a court transcript ... • College basketball: Kansas at Iowa State (7 p.m., ET); Georgia Tech at Duke (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN]; West Virginia at DePaul (9 p.m., ET). Blue Devils or Blue Demons? Ah, can't decide! [ESPN2] • NHL: Minnesota at Tampa Bay (7:30 p.m...

One Of Our Favorite Sports Bloggers Is ... Mose Schrute?!
As some of you might know by now, the gents at Fire Joe Morgan came out of the anonymous blogging closet yesterday and revealed themselves to be: Ken Tremendous (Michael Schur), Junior (Alan Yang), and dak (Dave King). They are all TV writers. You might recognize those names, especially Mr. Tremendo...

FedEx Wants All Hungover Employees At Work Tomorrow
Until those diligent slackers get the day after Super Bowl turned into a national holiday, we the working class must continue to roll into to work on Monday, somehow, some way. Don't bother calling in sick — it doesn't work....