emo Page 81 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight
What to watch when your good friend Iona Knipl comes over ... • Women's college basketball: NCAA Division I tournament championship game, Tennessee vs. Stanford in Tampa (8:30 p.m., ET). I would not like to be in the middle if Tara and Pat get into a brawl. [ESPN] • MLB: Cardinals at Astros (8:05 p....

A Final Four Without One Shining Moment
England's the country with the silent "u" in a lot of words, like colour and parlour, right? Yet both Brits and Yanks spell it "Final Four." And what's the deal with Ovaltine? Britain's FA Cup is down to four (finally!), starting the semifinal madness with West Bromfield Albion and Portsmouth. Neith...

Sleep Like Mike
If you've got extra space in your crib and have asked yourself recently, "What's a great way to blow some of my hard-earned cash on a completely unverifiable piece of athlete memorabilia?" then today is yours to rejoice in: You could be the owner of Michael Jordan's old, dirty water bed from when he...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you say goodbye to the current NCAA 3-point line ... • College basketball: NCAA Division I tournament, first round (noon and 7 p.m., ET). Sadly, your brackets committed suicide late last night. [CBS] • Figure skating: ISU World Figure Skating Championships, women's short program and...

Who's Sorry Now? Golf Edition
It's bad enough that your name is John Henry Isenhour III. But now word has leaked that you killed a protected species of hawk with a golf drive, on purpose, and there are criminal charges pending against you. Poor dumb sap. The only thing remaining of course is a phony, slapdash apology. Take it aw...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while packing for camp ... • College basketball: AP's account of UCLA's overtime win over Stanford fails to mention the absolutely brutal call against the Cardinal's Lawrence Hill with two seconds left in regulation that handed the Bruins the Pac-10 title. • NBA: Los Spurs have won 1...


About Last Night
What you missed while taking Will to the airport in a rickshaw ... • College women's basketball: Vivian Stringer joins the 800 Club. Don Imus apologizes out of habit. • NBA: LeBron's milestone doesn't impress the Celtics all that much. • NHL: Not tonight, I have a Paddock ... just wanted to say that...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Dateline's Chris Hansen reads a court transcript ... • College basketball: Kansas at Iowa State (7 p.m., ET); Georgia Tech at Duke (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN]; West Virginia at DePaul (9 p.m., ET). Blue Devils or Blue Demons? Ah, can't decide! [ESPN2] • NHL: Minnesota at Tampa Bay (7:30 p.m...

One Of Our Favorite Sports Bloggers Is ... Mose Schrute?!
As some of you might know by now, the gents at Fire Joe Morgan came out of the anonymous blogging closet yesterday and revealed themselves to be: Ken Tremendous (Michael Schur), Junior (Alan Yang), and dak (Dave King). They are all TV writers. You might recognize those names, especially Mr. Tremendo...

FedEx Wants All Hungover Employees At Work Tomorrow
Until those diligent slackers get the day after Super Bowl turned into a national holiday, we the working class must continue to roll into to work on Monday, somehow, some way. Don't bother calling in sick — it doesn't work....

Don't Take Joe Montana's Picture, He Thinks It Steals Your Soul
The legendary Joe Montana has to be a little antsy this weekend. The 49ers don't get an early first round draft pick. He's got people covering his shift at his diner. And if Tom Brady wins a fourth Super Bowl ring and third Super Bowl MVP, it'll tie Joe Cool on both counts....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as John Edwards and Rudy Guliani come over just to kill some time ... • College basketball: Virginia at Maryland (7 p.m., ET) [ESPN]; Cincinnati at West Virginia (7 p.m., ET); Texas at Texas A&M (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2]. Any Rich Rodriguez activites planned for tonight, West Virginia? • NB...

Mike And Mike, Sad Media Folk And The Fox Sports Grill
Because of a missed appointment, after we filed our Sporting News column last night, we spent the evening stranded at a cheesy Glendale sports bar, waiting for a cab that never came. (We literally spent four hours roaming around the greater Phoenix area doing nothing last night. We miss public trans...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after deciding to skip Alien Vs. Rain Man ... • College basketball: Louisville at Connecticut (7 p.m., ET); Oklahoma State at Oklahoma (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN]; Cal Poly at Pacific (11 p.m., ET) [ESPN2]. ESPN in Stockton, CA. A first? • College basketball: College of Charleston Cougars at W...

ESPN Sends Dana Jacobson Away For A Week
The official word has come down: Dana Jacobson has been suspended by ESPN for a week following her apparent meltdown at the Mike and Mike Roast....

First Video Of Mike And Mike Roast Surfaces
JEFFREY ROSS MIKE AND MIKE ROASTUnfortunately, we don’t have the Dana Jacobson video yet, but the first little smidgen of footage from the Mike And Mike Roast has hit the Internets....

ESPN's Morale Boosting Internal Memo
From the file of outstanding internal ESPN documents, here's a fun little one-off. It's a memo called "Studio Monthly: The Studio Production Newsletter," which is meant as a morale booster for ESPN employees. And our morale is boosted just looking at it!...

David Banks Is Significantly Worse At Long Division Than He Was A Day Ago
I'm trying hard to remember the hardest I was ever hit in the head. It might've been when I was three or four, and the kid down the street struck me right in the coconut with a croquet mallet. Even at an early age, I probably should have been aware that his wielding of a croquet mallet was unsafe...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while making Baghdad's first-ever snow infidels... • NHL: Wild top Blackhawks 5-2 as Josh Harding saves 41; 300 wounded. • NBA: LeBron James leads Cavs to: (a) win, (b) loss, (c) the locker room at halftime, (d) none of the above, (e) both a and c. • Justice system: Bail shocks O.J. ...