emo Page 83 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you spot the guy who stole your Yankees jersey ... • NFL: Washington at Philadelphia. Your entire fantasy team is populated by plyers on these two teams. Enjoy. [ESPN] • MLB: Orioles at Yankees. Baltimore can act as spoiler! Just kidding; they'll lose as usual. [Yes Network] • Golf:...


Pam Ward Is Not Listening To Her Producer
We actually don't think Pam Ward is a bad broadcaster — not at all, actually — but this clip, from her broadcast of the Michigan State-UAB game, seems to imply that she might be deaf....

Appalachian State Fans Are Still, Well, Appalachians
We can understand that Appalachian State fans would want to remember their upset victory over Michigan forever, keep it close to them so that, in moments of despair, they can remember that anything is possible, that the world can be a transformative place. (Particularly when Michigan is terrible.) B...

More Late Game Bukkake
San Diego 14, Chicago 3 LaDainian Tomlinson made up for a fallow first half with a flush fantasy second, throwing for one touchdown and rushing for another, but still managing only 25 yards on 17 carries. Tommy Harris can jump offsides all he damn pleases, it's still not making up for a parlous Bear...

Legislating From The Luxury Box
Before the 1978 season, the NFL's owners passed a shit-ton of rules that were designed to scale back the role of physical contact in the game. Under the new rules packages, wide receivers could not be bumped more than five yards from the line of scrimmage. Offensive lineman were allowed to use your...

Just Wake Me When It's Over
September, of course, is when baseball approaches my favorite part of the season — the end. I have no genuine qualms with the game or its fans; in fact, I can think of few more enjoyable ways to spend a sunny weekend afternoon than taking in a Greenville Drive game and enjoying moderately-overpriced...

The Gay Mafia Invade The Mothership
Oh, hello there. We, the fine gentleman from Kissing Suzy Kolber, have been charged with guiding you folks through this, the very first weekend of the NFL season. And we could not be more excited. Not only do we get to watch football, we also get to rush to the computer every five minutes to do HTM...

Don't Even THINK Of Ranking Michigan In Your Top 25
Dan Shanoff writes a weekly college football column for Deadspin. Email him to let him know what you think....

Three Days Later, The Upset Still Stuns
As much as we enjoyed the link to all the other Big Ten teams celebrating Michigan's loss, and as happy as we are for Appalachian State — some of whose fans actually saw this coming — we still have to focus on those Michigan fans, who saw their entire season (and perhaps so much more) evaporate in a...

Dickey Simpkins Wants You To Be A Good Father
This was on The Basketball Jones a few days ago, but we're just coming around to it. It's an inspirational video about parenthood, not from Travis Henry but Dickey Simpkins....

You, Too, Can Battle A Gladiator
As you might have heard, NBC is bringing back "American Gladiators" as a midseason replacement this year. This is, of course, outstanding news, though we have a feeling they'll make everybody cut their hair....

Deadspin HOF Nominee: ESPN Memo
It's impossible to overstate the joy in our hearts when the ESPN Internal Complaint Memo showed up in our email box. We had always suspected that ESPN was a depressing, Brazil-esque bureaucracy. But we had no idea how bad it was....

How FJM Ended Up In SI
If you're one of those people left who regularly reads Sports Illustrated, you might have noticed an unusual byline in the "Scorecard" section this week: Ken Tremendous. That's a fake name, representing an anonymous blog. One of the best, actually: The great Fire Joe Morgan. How did this happen?...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch instead of that new Neil Simon play, Chapter 11 ... • MLB: Astros at Braves [TBS]; Giants at Dodgers. This may take a long while. Bring a pillow. [ESPN2] • Soccer: MLS, Kansas City at New England. Kevin Garnett to be allowed to shoot a penalty kick? [ESPN2] • Golf: Reno-Tahoe Open. Hey...

Remembering Skip Prosser
The college basketball world is still coming to terms with the death of Wake Forest coach Skip Prosser yesterday. Prosser was 56 years old and had been jogging on campus. His death shocked many, and the Web features many excellent tributes to him....


Your Baby Will Cough And You Will Like It
We know the big ESPN interoffice complaint memorandum we posted earlier this week was enormous and unwieldy, but seriously, folks: It's an absolute treasure trove of gorgeous goodness. So, for the rest of the week, we'll be highlighting particularly hilarious and illustrative segments from the memo....