emo Page 84 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night ...
What you missed while tripping on peyote at the roulette table with your dead nephew's Vegas hooker. ... • NBA: Down go the Warriors! Utah 115, Golden State 101. • Golf: So out ... crooked baseball caps. So in ... Phil Mickelson golf visors. • MLB: Rockies caught in a vicious cycle thanks to Giants,...
Who's Sorry Now? Curt Schilling Edition
The Curt Schilling/Barry Bonds Tempest in a Specimen Cup took another odd turn on Wednesday, as friends and loved ones of the Red Sox pitcher hastily organized an intervention on his behalf. On Tuesday Schilling lit into Bonds, with the famous "He admitted to cheating on his wife, cheating on his ta...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you find out that there's already a Starbucks on the newly-discovered, earth-like planet ... • MLB: Texas at New York Yankees. Perhaps someone will finally talk about that rumored Roger Clemens signing. [ESPN] • NBA: Conference semifinals, Golden State at Utah, Game 2. Baron Davis m...
Welcome To The World League
In one of those glorious creations that could have only come about thanks to the Internet, we proudly introduce you — if you didn't already know — to The World League....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while attending a wake for all of your old REM cassette tapes ... • NBA: A cut above ... Suns even series with Spurs 1-all. • MLB: Beckett! Red Sox 9, Blue Jays 2. • Tennis: Claymation ... Federer advances at Rome Masters....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after giving away your horse ... • NBA: Eastern Conference semifinals, Chicago at Detroit, Game 1; Western Conference semifinals, Golden State at Utah, Game 1. Here we go again, Warriors fans. [TNT] • NHL: Western Conference semifinals, Detroit at San Jose, Game 6. Feeding Frenzy in th...
Tony Parker Would Like To Talk To You About His Feet
Via the outstanding Pounding The Rock, we proudly introduce you to Get Your Game Feet On. It's a product promotion from Lamisil featuring Mike and Mike from ESPN Radio — one's gay! one's fat! — and Spurs guard Tony Parker. And it's called Get Your Game Feet On....
Johnnie Morton Is Some Kind of Bad-Ass
The Fighting Entertainment Group announced a press conference yesterday for some kind of a Mixed Martian Arts pay-per-view thing. I'm not very big into the MMA/Ultimate Fighting scene, so I was surprised to learn that they're now employing WWF guys and retired NFL wide receivers....
One More Post Until It's Time to Start Drinking
Bah, I suck at timestamps. Those of you who've already seen the last post, well, sorry about that. I also suck at millitary time. Anyway, here's some news that I found troubling if only because I thought she was dead:...
Sadly, She Was Only On Level One
What happens when you cross Million Dollar Baby with The Miracle Worker? You get this; which we suppose is video boxing, but could also be a clearcut case of demonic possession. We blame two things for these deeply troubling images: The new wireless Wii remote, and Title IX. Clearly there are flaws ...
Further Heavy Reading In The Land Of The Footie
It's a trend we like and would tend to encourage; passive-aggressive insults by European soccer fans. Bradford City, a League One soccer club, recently published a book about rival club Leeds United, entitled Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About The Not So Massive Club That Was Super L666ds, w...
ESPN Rewards Its Employees With A Small Beverage
Monday's "Monday Night Football" game between the Dallas Cowboys and the New York Giants, perhaps because of the possible midfield suicide of Terrell Owens, scored a 12.8 Neilsen rating, the highest cable television rating in history. This is a cause for celebration in Bristol, obviously, but we had...
Parents Sentence Son To Lifetime Of Ass-Kickings
As The Mighty MJD mentioned on Sunday, Leann and Rusty Real of D'Iberville, Miss., have named their kid ESPN Montana Real. That's pronounced "Espen," as in, "Mrs. Johnson! The other boys have run Espen's pants up the flagpole again!"...
A Tragic Weekend In Baseball
We sent our best thoughts and wishes to former umpire Eric Gregg and his family after his massive stroke yesterday at his home in suburban Philadelphia. Always one of our favorite umpires, he lost his job after the ill-fated umpire walkout of 1999. Like anyone else who went to a Phillies home game...
Great Moments In Academic History
Outstanding yeoman's work from The Seattle Times' Bud Withers, who, apropos of nothing, decided to chronicle various college athlete amusing misdeeds from throughout the years. Our favorites include the tennis player hopping from car hood to car hood waving his racket around, the Cincinnati player...
From Stoned To Brewer
On Sunday, Philadelphia's Ryan Howard hit yet another home run, his 12th of the month. The guy's hot, and, judging from his physique, pretty obviously not on steroids. But that's not the most interesting part of his homer; what we're fascinated by is whom he hit it off....
Well, Somebody Better Start Making Golic's Tux And Greenberg's Dress
Well, it looks like they're actually going through with this:...
This Marriage Madness Thing, It's Actually Happening. Really
We didn't listen to ESPN's "Mike And Mike In The Morning" this morning, but we're told the whole "Marriage Mania" business is in its finals, which means, sometime soon, two human beings will enter the bonds of holy matrimony while standing next to a sweaty Mike Golic....
It's An Honor Just To Be Nominated
So, who remembers the Bill Simmons cartoons? Launched, what, a year ago now, the three one-minute tidbits of the life of The Sports Guy were almost universally derided, first by readers, then, ultimately, by Simmons himself. (He called them "a mistake on a lot of levels.")...
NCAA Pants Party: Iowa Vs. Northwestern State
Iowa Hawkeyes (25-8) vs. Northwestern State Demons (25-7). When: Friday, 12:25 p.m. Where: Auburn Hills, Mich....