emo Page 85 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sadly, She Was Only On Level One
What happens when you cross Million Dollar Baby with The Miracle Worker? You get this; which we suppose is video boxing, but could also be a clearcut case of demonic possession. We blame two things for these deeply troubling images: The new wireless Wii remote, and Title IX. Clearly there are flaws ...
Further Heavy Reading In The Land Of The Footie
It's a trend we like and would tend to encourage; passive-aggressive insults by European soccer fans. Bradford City, a League One soccer club, recently published a book about rival club Leeds United, entitled Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About The Not So Massive Club That Was Super L666ds, w...
ESPN Rewards Its Employees With A Small Beverage
Monday's "Monday Night Football" game between the Dallas Cowboys and the New York Giants, perhaps because of the possible midfield suicide of Terrell Owens, scored a 12.8 Neilsen rating, the highest cable television rating in history. This is a cause for celebration in Bristol, obviously, but we had...
Parents Sentence Son To Lifetime Of Ass-Kickings
As The Mighty MJD mentioned on Sunday, Leann and Rusty Real of D'Iberville, Miss., have named their kid ESPN Montana Real. That's pronounced "Espen," as in, "Mrs. Johnson! The other boys have run Espen's pants up the flagpole again!"...
A Tragic Weekend In Baseball
We sent our best thoughts and wishes to former umpire Eric Gregg and his family after his massive stroke yesterday at his home in suburban Philadelphia. Always one of our favorite umpires, he lost his job after the ill-fated umpire walkout of 1999. Like anyone else who went to a Phillies home game...
Great Moments In Academic History
Outstanding yeoman's work from The Seattle Times' Bud Withers, who, apropos of nothing, decided to chronicle various college athlete amusing misdeeds from throughout the years. Our favorites include the tennis player hopping from car hood to car hood waving his racket around, the Cincinnati player...
From Stoned To Brewer
On Sunday, Philadelphia's Ryan Howard hit yet another home run, his 12th of the month. The guy's hot, and, judging from his physique, pretty obviously not on steroids. But that's not the most interesting part of his homer; what we're fascinated by is whom he hit it off....
Well, Somebody Better Start Making Golic's Tux And Greenberg's Dress
Well, it looks like they're actually going through with this:...
This Marriage Madness Thing, It's Actually Happening. Really
We didn't listen to ESPN's "Mike And Mike In The Morning" this morning, but we're told the whole "Marriage Mania" business is in its finals, which means, sometime soon, two human beings will enter the bonds of holy matrimony while standing next to a sweaty Mike Golic....
It's An Honor Just To Be Nominated
So, who remembers the Bill Simmons cartoons? Launched, what, a year ago now, the three one-minute tidbits of the life of The Sports Guy were almost universally derided, first by readers, then, ultimately, by Simmons himself. (He called them "a mistake on a lot of levels.")...
NCAA Pants Party: Iowa Vs. Northwestern State
Iowa Hawkeyes (25-8) vs. Northwestern State Demons (25-7). When: Friday, 12:25 p.m. Where: Auburn Hills, Mich....
Northwestern State Demons
1. Vic The Demon Is Named That For A Reason. In one of the most noted mascot brawls in sports history, in October 1992, NSU mascot Vic the Demon got into it with Louisiana-Monroe mascot Chief Brave Spirit, after playful sparring on the sidelines turned into an ugly brawl. The Shreveport Times report...
The Ladies Love The Baseball
We always find it kind of embarrassing when major sports leagues make conscious efforts to try to cater to the female audience. From our experience, a woman is either a sports fan, or she isn't — you know, like the rest of the human population. League executives tend to think of female sports fans t...
Gammons And Morgan: A Team For The Ages
We're not sure if this will make the folks at Fire Joe Morgan leap in bliss or slip into madness, but it appears everybody's soul-crushing Sunday Night Baseball analyst Joe Morgan is gonna have some company in the booth this year: Peter Gammons....
That Looks Like It Hurts
Those of you who woke up with a little bit of a hangover this morning can be thankful for at least one thing: You aren't Fernando Vargas. Look at that eye, man. That is disgusting. Who'd he fight, Deebo? I think that growth just scored an 11 on the Wonderlic....
Athlete Run-Ins: Joe Morgan's Tiny Finger
Today's first athlete run-in story is about everybody's favorite ESPN baseball analyst Joe Morgan. We're as shocked as you to hear he might be a bit of a jerk in public....
Don't Forget About The Sex Cruise!
While the rest of us sully our filthy little minds with stories of lesbian cheerleaders, The Mighty MJD is keeping his eyes on the prize of the whole Vikings sex boat story. (How quickly we forget ...)...
Nobody Puts The Admiral In A Corner!
Everybody loves David Robinson. He's a military man, a two-time NBA champion and the type of guy who seems to clearly mean well for his fellow man (and DARE Lion). But that's no matter in the world of copyright infringement; the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim — a team name with so many words that j...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 10 a.m. MLB With Joe Morgan: Hey, so, in your all your years of playing baseball, did you learn anything that you'd feel comfortable sharing with the casual fan? • 1 p.m. Page 2's Scoop Jackson: For some reason, every time we see you o...
We Hope You Like Joe Morgan
Bad news for those who are driven to murderous rage by the voice of ESPN analyst Joe Morgan: ESPN and Major League Baseball have extended their broacast agreement through 2013. Sunday Night Baseball with Morgan and Jon "Hey, Don't Look At Me, I Don't Know What The Hell He's Talking About Either" M...