Despite creating loads of chances in their first game against Tunisia, England had to rely on an epic stoppage-time winner from Harry Kane to get all three points. There was no such drama necessary in the Three Lions’ match against Panama on Sunday, however, as the English were actually able to finish their…
During an open training session yesterday, England assistant coach Steve Holland was photographed holding notes that appeared to reveal the starting lineup for Sunday’s match against Panama. England don’t want Panama to know this! They don’t want anyone to see those notes. So here they are:
According to The Telegraph and journalist Bryan MacDonald, these English fans went to a pub in Stalingrad after Monday’s England-Tunisia World Cup match and celebrated England’s win by doing anti-Semitic chants.
The first 90 minutes of England’s World Cup opener played out how many fans feared they would. Harry Kane easily found the back of the net in the first 11 minutes after a powerful John Stones header was batted right onto his feet, but England were brought back to Earth quickly. In the 34th minute, Kyle Walker left his…
For years now, there hasn’t been much to do but laugh at England’s performances on the world stage. The so-called Golden Generation won nothing, and the 2014 World Cup team didn’t even make it out of their group. England did manage to make it to the Round of 16 in the 2016 Euros, but ended up getting knocked out of…
A Palatine of Hungary crosses some boars and sows in some Austro-Hungarian barn. He creates a new breed of swine, the Mangalica pig. Upon seeing the result of his meddling with nature, the palatine claps his hands in delight—probably.
Manchester City had a crazy bus ride into Anfield today ahead of their Champions League match against Liverpool, as the soon-to-be English champions were greeted by passionate home supporters who happened also to be armed with projectiles and flares. Alternately, if you don’t know the context, the images suggest a…
The following video, which depicts Macclesfield’s game-winning stoppage time goal against Woking, is an object lesson on why you must always be alert and focused for literally every second of every game, even when an outcome seems guaranteed, especially when playing on a bog of a pitch in rain-soaked England:
The England national team is currently in Amsterdam for a World Cup tune-up friendly against the Netherlands. Lots of English fans also made the trip out to Amsterdam, and they too are using the trip to practice for World Cup. Sadly, it looks like the English hooligans have already mastered their particular brand of…
Snow days were great, and if you have the opportunity to get one as an adult, you should absolutely take it. But props to third-tier English soccer team Peterborough United for powering through and doing the absolute most they could do to avoid going home early on account of the late-February flurries.
Kids nowadays! All they care about is Nando’s and Jeremy Corbyn and none of them even want to hear just how dope it can be to roll a fake block of cheese down the street. That’s why the annual Stilton, England cheese rolling competition has been canceled this year.
Rarely does any scenario become worse after your dick and balls get smashed to hell. But our friend here, wearing what appears to be a Bristol City or maybe an England kit, was only beginning to get acquainted with true pain when he went airborne.
Not many were sure why, but in the 86th minute of this weekend’s Salford City-Bradford Park Avenue match in England’s sixth-tier league, Salford keeper Max Crocombe was sent off for something that happened away from the action on the field. Soon, though, it became clear: Crocombe had taken a pee break right there on…
Okay, I don’t want to spoil anything for you, so let me just set the scene. This is action in the North West Counties Football League of England, with Padiham down 3-1 against Widnes in the 92nd minute. Widnes, the leaders, are in yellow, while Padiham is in blue. Now watch:
You’d think that Runcorn Linnets, the name of an English soccer club currently competing in the North West Counties League a whopping eight divisions below the Premier League, wouldn’t hold much importance outside of the tiny pocket of ostensible fans tucked away in northern England. You’d be wrong.
Of course it had to be Harry Kane, England’s captain on the night, the so-called “one-year wonder” who has been defying skeptics with an unending deluge of goals for about three years now, his home nation’s one true world-class player, who came to England’s rescue tonight. After a fairly drab display for most of the…