england Page 19 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Henry Anderson's Dick And Balls Rudely Squished By Cordarrelle Patterson [Update]

Cordarrelle Patterson was brought down by Henry Anderson after a one-yard gain on a first-and-five run early in the fourth quarter of Sunday’s Patriots-Jets tilt. Patterson, who I think it will henceforth be fair to assume is a total sociopath, expressed his displeasure with that turn of events by c...

Amateur MMA Fighter Somehow Injures Both Of His Legs Celebrating His Knockout Win

Weird shit seems to happen all the time in the lower rungs of MMA. There was the guy who did a front flip off his opponent’s lifeless body, the guy who barfed all over the cage for no good reason, and the other guy who crapped a bunch in the cage (this one at least is not unique to regional MMA). Th...

Soccer Ref Suspended Three Weeks For Using Rock-Paper-Scissors Instead Of Coin Flip

Over in England, the FA has banned referee David McNamara for 21 days on the charge of “not acting in the best interests of the game,” after some unauthorized improvisation when he forgot his coin ahead of an Oct. 26 Reading-Manchester City match in the Women’s Super League. Because he didn’t have a...

Tom Brady Gets Upstaged As A Receiver By An Opposing Quarterback, Again

Early in the fourth quarter of today’s Patriots-Titans game, New England ran a wide receiver passing play where Julian Edelman threw a six-yard pass to an open Tom Brady. While it wasn’t a repeat of the infamous Super Bowl blunder—Brady actually caught the ball—the New England quarterback showed tha...

James McClean's Refusal To Wear The Poppy Has Made Him The Most Hated Man In English Soccer

In England, Halloween ends and gives way to November in various ways: Pumpkins left on doorsteps begin their neglected descent into rot; the seasonal coffee flavoring changes to gingerbread; James McClean begins receiving death threats from a certain brand of soccer fan, including among his own supp...

When The Patriots Play Without Gronk, They Still Carry His Spirit

Bills Fan Faces Stiff Punishment After Cops Pegged Him As Dildo-Thrower

Police were pretty hard on Florida man Michael Abdallah, 34, who was arrested for throwing a dildo on the field during the Patriots-Bills game on Monday. The cops reportedly used security camera footage and eyewitness accounts to grab Abdallah; then they squeezed him for $250 in cash or $1,000 in b...

Report: Prison Drug Use May Have Contributed To Aaron Hernandez's Death By Suicide

An autopsy performed in April 2017, after the death by suicide of former Patriots tight end and convicted murderer Aaron Hernandez, reportedly “came back negative for all substances” tested, including, importantly, synthetic cannabinoids. But a new report from the Boston Globe says the final police ...

Patriots Knocked Down A Solid Notch Or Two By Devastating Fan Sign

No recovering from this sort of burn, carefully printed out in landscape format across one half of a single 8.5" x 11" sheet of printer paper. Truly this must be the end of the Patriots dynasty as we know it....

The Bills Ran A Play From <i>Tecmo Super Bowl</i>

The Buffalo Bills went deep into the playbook on their opening drive tonight, running LeSean McCoy and Chris Ivory on direct snaps in full house backfield setups. Might as well break out some trickery to try to beat the New England Patriots....

Referee Joins Fans' Goal Celebration, Sips Beer Off The Ground

A great judgment call from a true professional....

World-Class Asshole Sergio Ramos Proves He Did Not Stomp On Raheem Sterling

Well what do you know, it turns out that world-class asshole Sergio Ramos was actually innocent of this one incident of assholery against Raheem Sterling in Monday’s Spain-England match....

This Sure Looks Like World-Class Asshole Sergio Ramos Stomping On Raheem Sterling [Update: Ramos Is Innocent]

Update [Oct. 17, 10:04 a.m.]: Today Sergio Ramos posted a video that proves he did not actually stomp on Raheem Sterling. The original version of this post can be found below....

Maybe Paco Alcácer Sold His Soul To The Devil For The Power To Score Whenever He Wants

Though Paco Alcácer’s goal today came when Spain were already down big in their UEFA Nations League match against England, the weight of the scoreline was never going to keep the corners of his mouth from turning upward in delight. Alcácer had stepped over the sideline and into a 3-0 hiding in the 5...

Breeland Speaks Says He Let Tom Brady Go Because He Was Afraid Of Being Penalized

It ultimately didn’t matter much, because there was a defensive holding call on the play that would have given the Pats a first-and-goal, but the oddest play of last night’s thrilling Chiefs-Patriots game belonged to Chiefs linebacker Breeland Speaks....

Asshole Patriots Fan Throws Beer On Tyreek Hill After Fourth-Quarter Touchdown [Update] <em></em>

Some Patriots fans lived down to their reputation in the waning minutes of the Patriots’ 43-40 win over the previously undefeated Kansas City Chiefs. After Tyreek Hill went 75 yards to set up the game-tying extra point, he pulled up in front of the crowd where Pats fans threw beer on him and flipped...

Report: Aaron Hernandez Was Sexually Abused As A Boy

The Boston Globe’s Spotlight team just published the first part of a six-part series on the life of former Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez, who died by suicide last spring in a Massachusetts prison. It’s a heartbreaking story that digs deeper into the foundational early years of Hernandez’s short...

Ass Team Of The Week: Do Not Ever Feel That You Must Respect The Dolphins

This is my favorite part of the NFL season, in part because I get a certain thrill out of watching teams that roar off to surprisingly hot starts being put ruthlessly back into their places. I feel like I’ve lived through seven or eight NFL seasons that began with, like, the Buffalo Bills going 3-0,...

Bill Belichick On Dolphins Apparent Fake Injury: "That's Fucking Bullshit"<em></em>

Dolphins CB Bobby McCain didn’t seem to be prepared for a fourth-down play the Patriots were setting up during the second quarter of their game today, and he solved his problem by giving his team a free timeout....

How Patrick Chung's Concussion Fell Through The Cracks

The NFL and the NFLPA on Thursday concluded their joint investigation of Patriots safety Patrick Chung’s concussion. The inquiry found that there were no protocol violations even though Chung was initially not tested for a brain injury after being sent off the field by a game official. This appears ...