england Page 87 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ask Not What Tom Brady Can Do For You, Ask What You Can Do For Tom Brady
Excellent piece of satire this morning over at Blogging The Boys — and God, I hope it's satire — in which they write that the remainder of the 2008 NFL season will be officially played in honor of Tom Brady. I have to admit that I read half of it, then raced over to NFL.com to make sure it wasn't tr...
Randy Moss Tells Jets That Patriots Are 'Still The Team To Beat.' That Seems Wise
If there's one thing that Matt Cassel wishes for his starting debut with the Patriots on Sunday, it's that a prominent teammate talk some smack to the opposing team, which already has a contract out on him to begin with. Oh, and a very painful cold sore; that would be good. Randy Moss just couldn't ...
Jason Whitlock Continues To Be Part-Time Publicist For Jeff George's Lonely Right Arm
Love him or loathe him, Jason Whitlock is one of the most fascinating sports writers working today. His columns are always infused with a stridency and subversion that make his words compelling, regardless of how batshitty the context or opinion. Like Jason Whitlock. Like him a lot. And today's colu...
The Casselification Of America Has Begun
So you thought you were suffering from Tom Brady overload? At least there's only one of him. Meet the Cassels! Matt, of course, you know; he filled in for the mangled Brady on Sunday and led the Patriots to a 17-10 win over the Chiefs. He is set to assault every one of our six senses — especially he...
Bernard Pollard: New England Dream-Destroyer; Provocative Locker Room Dance Enthusiast
Bernard Pollard is not a well-liked man in New England and by crestfallen fantasy owners all across the country who watched their seasons disintegrate in an instant. (Darren Rovell says the Brady effect on Fantasy Football will cost some owners $150 million. Really. ) Pollard insists the left knee-...
Rearranging the World Order
Michael Bertin writes about soccer for Deadspin World Cup qualifying in Europe is too easy. I know that sounds ridiculous given some of the results over the weekend—France losing to Austria, Italy needing stoppage time to nip Cyrpus, and England being rescued against Andorra (again) by five inspire...
Tom Brady Doesn't Live Here Anymore
Forget for a moment how the Patriots are going to cope without Tom Brady this season; how is the league itself going to survive? The facts are these: We awaken on Monday morning to a world in which Tom Brady and Peyton Manning are irrelevant, and Brett Favre and Kurt Warner are dancing about celebra...
Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee
As the world holds its collective breath awaiting official word on Tom Brady's knee injury, bloggers are working through their apprehension and grief the only way they know how; with wild, panicky speculation. Here's a sampling ... • A Letter From God Addressed To New England Patriot Fans. Let's fac...
NFL Season Preview: New England Patriots
The NFL season has officially started, so it's time to fucking finish the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Clearly, these previews will be running ...
Tom Brady's E: Meet Will McDonough
In a really fascinating article and very well written piece, Brady's E, Will McDonough, is credited with the quarterback's rise from awkward media interviewee to a stylish, model-dating, European-vacationing metrosexual. Depending on your particular persuasion this either makes McDonough the anti-c...
Hail Britannia at the Appropriate Intervals in a Civil Manner!
Britain's Olympic successes shall be winging their way back to the Empire shortly to the waiting arms of the loving mother country. Prime Minister Gordon Brown has promised a "tremendous reception" on Monday when they pitch wheels down to Heathrow's new Terminal 5. Only one problem, naturally: Briti...
New England Patriots Get Their 'Perfect Season' 'AFC Championship' Rings
The New England Patriots doled out some AFC Championship rings in a private ceremony last week in Gillette Stadium. One side of the ring reads, "18-1 AFC CHAMPIONSHIP." Aw, that's nice. They were so close to a perfect season, but they did win their conference; they've earned that level of recogniti...
Pro Football Prospectus Dropped The Ball On Wes Welker
If you've ever read the FootballOutsiders annual tome, Pro Football Prospectus, then you know what they're all about. Their statistical, sabremetric-ish approach to a very complex game comes up with some interesting findings. But it's time to call a spade a spade, especially when it comes to America...
Giants Fan Braves Unbelievable Hardship For Patriots 19-0 Shirt
Not unlike the travels of Che Guevara, Aaron Kaplowitz's heroic quest for Patriots' 19-0 memorabilia in Central America is a tale fraught with danger and high adventure. And did I mention cockfighting? On hearing that a remote Nicaraguan village was the destination for Patriots World Champions gear ...
There's A Bill Belichick Sex Tape? Merciful Jesus, Anoint My Eyes With Clorox
Like opening the ancient, creaky attic door in a horror movie, some moves are so obviously wrong-headed that you just want to scream. Tom Casale, a former writer for Patriots Football Weekly, has just made one of those moves. Writing under the name Tommy Rider (red flag right there), he penned a far...
Trouser Snakes On A Plane
Remember that scene in Airplane where everyone starts freaking out that the pilots are sick and then, pow, some topless chick runs right in front of the camera? That was the first time I ever saw an unclothed pair of boobies in cinema ... while watching it with my parents. They didn't realize that w...
New England Patriots Helmet Tattoo Guy Auctioning Off Rest of Body
Not content with the awesomest tattoo ever, Victor Thompson will now sell off other places on his body to the highest bidder. He's even set up his own website, tattmetoo.com . For the low price of $200 per square inch, you can make it happen....
Wes Welker's Musical Belly Button Captivates Crowd
A few members of the New England Patriots got crazy karaoke-style for Larryoke, a charity event organized by Pats' special teams captain Larry Izzo. Those in attendance were blown away by Wes Welker's belly button rendition of "MacArthur Park". That thing's got some pipes....
Patriots' Lineman Is Oxy Fiend, Snitches On Dealer
Well, here's a bizarre story from the land of the Chowdah heads: Nick Kaczur, the New England Patriots offensive lineman, has according to the Boston Globe been secretly helped the DEA nab a major illegal prescription drug supplier. Kaczur was arrested last April for illegal possession of oxy and t...
The Patriots High School Cheerleader Baffles Those Wanting To Accurately Leer
From the booby-centric miscreants over at Busted Coverage comes another time-wasting exercise that guarantees you will spend an unhealthy amount of time anaylzing teenage girls on the internet. The New England Patriots announced their 2008 cheerleading squad and one of the newest members is curren...