english-premier-league Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mauro Zárate Drills Home Magnificent Volley Off The Deflection
West Ham United took a 1-0 lead on Crystal Palace today when Mauro Zárate—in his first start for a new squad—lined up a volley after a sky-high deflection of a shot from teammate Mark Noble....
West Ham Idiot Runs Length Of Pitch, Takes Free Kick For Spurs
An Idiot On The Field invaded the pitch at Upton Park today, and made the most of his time in the spotlight: he took a crucial free kick for the visiting Tottenham Hotspur....
Ted Lasso Is Back, And He's Still Clueless About Soccer
Jason Sudeikis has reprised his role as Ted Lasso, the American football coach who doesn't know shit about soccer, and the bit is still funny....
Yaya Touré Wants To Go Home Because Nobody Made Him A Birthday Cake
Apparently, Manchester City superstar and greatest midfielder currently doing it Yaya Touré is unhappy with his club. Why, you might wonder, when they just won the Premier League in exciting fashion, featuring him as their best player? Because the team didn't celebrate his birthday....
Man United Hire New Manager, Already Expect To Win Premier League
It's not even next season yet and we've already got the first lolunited post of the '14-'15 campaign. New Manchester United ship captain Louis van Gaal has officially been christened, and in lieu of smacking him across the head with a champagne bottle, they've promised him £150M, with an expectation...
Elderly Samuel Eto'o Bashes Mourinho, Plans To Play As <em>Actual</em> Old Man
Samuel Eto'o is in the Ivory Coast today in support of the Copa Coca Cola, an international youth tournament. In an interview before the event, he had some choice words for the "fool" José Mourinho and anyone else who wants to fuck with Hollywood Court....
The 2013-14 Premier League Season Was Well And Truly Fucking Awesome
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. There was pessimism, hope, and ultimately failure. There was schadenfreude; oh, was there schadenfreude. There were also huge games, mesmerizing goals, and more twists in the title race than a M. Night Shyamalan movie (but actually good). To cap o...
Soccer-Loving Grandma Does Not Appreciate Her Grandkids' Prank
Some mischevious Man City supporters decided that it would be fun to trick their grandma into thinking that City had scored an early goal during its title-clinching game against West Ham yesterday. Granny did not appreciate their shenanigans....
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Wayne Rooney Scores Goal From 50 Yards Away
Wayne Rooney opened the scoring for Manchester United today with a long-range bomb reminiscent of Luis Suarez's goal for Liverpool two years ago, a 50-yard volley that left NBC's announcers almost at a loss for words. We're sure Rooney's West Ham opponents had a few, though....
Tottenham Boss Bashes Players, Flexes Imaginary Muscles
Spurs, Spurs, Spurs. It's always something with you guys, isn't it?...
How The Transfer Window Makes Us Joyless <em>Football Manager</em> Drones
If you're still irrationally hoping, praying that one or two of those impossibly tantalizing rumors—David Luiz to Barça? Cavani to Chelsea?—comes true to legitimize the hours you spent throughout the month mashing the refresh button on The Daily Mail's transfer gossip page just as soon as you had fu...
Check Out Daniel Sturridge's Outrageous Rainbow Shot Golazo
It's not every day a center back pings a perfect long ball over the back four for an assist, but then again it's not every day that a striker's first-time, high-arching shot actually finds the back of the net. Did I mention that he wasn't even looking?...
Juan Mata Is Signed. What Will Manchester United Do With Him?
We knew something had to give at Manchester United, what with the team's huge mounds of money begging to fill the huge holes in the squad, but it's still a bit of a surprise that the deal in hand is for Chelsea's Juan Mata, bought for a reported £37M. A bona fide world-class number 10 is a nice addi...
"Diehard" Soccer Fans Pretend To Know Players Who Don't Exist
Well, well, maybe Americans aren't the only ones who don't know anything about soccer. ...
Sad Manchester United Allow Elderly Samuel Eto'o To Score Hat Trick
No one would have imagined this before the season started: Chelsea demolishes Manchester United 3-1, and the only remotely surprising thing is that Samuel Eto'o—a thousand years old, a chronic misfirer—was the man who knocked in the goals. And yet that's how it is....
Aston Villa's Nathan Baker Stretchered Off After Strike To The Face
Villa Park played host to a scary moment today as Aston Villa defender Nathan Baker had to be given oxygen on the pitch after catching an Arsenal strike square in the face....
The Worst Owner In Sports: A Photo Gallery
Vincent Tan, Malaysian billionaire and owner of Cardiff City, is the worst owner in sports. He is also a pretty hilarious looking dude. With that in mind, we decided to take a journey with the man through his decidedly up-and-down 2013....
Cardiff City Owner Boos Own Team After Blown Lead In Final 10 Seconds
Cardiff City owner Vincent Tan is earning his reputation as the soccer world's Jerry Jones. After sacking manager Malky Mackay for airing "dirty linen" earlier this week, the Malaysian billionaire joined an angry crowd of Welshmen in booing his own team after a late Sunderland goal led to a 2-2 dra...
Alvaro Negredo's Goal Won Man City The Biggest Game Of The Season
Whenever you have, coming into today's games, six teams within six points of the league leaders, nearly every week will bring a matchup that seems like the Game of the Season. But while many of those earlier competitions ended up being cagey affairs with both sides playing to avoid defeat, today's M...