english Page 17 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Lesson On Offside Calls For FIFA Officials Who Don't Understand Them
At least two egregiously bad offside calls were made this morning, one of which influenced a major cup tournament outcome. Since it appears FIFA referees (and, in one case, soccer broadcasters) don't understand this basic rule, we're going to illustrate them....
Liverpool Score One Of The Most Ridiculous, Hilarious Goals Of The Year
Łukasz Fabiański wishes he had this one back, as the Swansea keeper's attempt to clear the ball instead found its target of Liverpool midfielder Adam Lallana's chest, against which it ricocheted directly into Swansea's goal....
How Real Are These Rumors About Gareth Bale To Manchester United?
The January transfer window is almost here, which means the rumor mill is just starting to rev up into the senseless, self-serving, outlandish, and dangerously addicting clusterfuck we've come to expect. And while some of the rumors can already be written off fairly easily—Barcelona to sell Busque...
Giroud Is A Wizard
Sure, Olivier Giroud is unmarked, but that's a marvelous angle....
Why Is This Small Man Attempting To Assault Me?
It appears Jack Wilshere never learned the old "the bigger they come, they harder they fall" adage....
Man City Goal The Product Of Perfect Execution
Yaya Touré put Man City up 2-1 thanks to this gorgeous play in which everything worked to perfection....
Errant Yaya Touré Shot Drills Little Girl In The Face
This is what happens when your shots aren't on target, Yaya. You bash a little girl in the face. Aim better!...
Wanyama Takes Advantage Of Awful Goalkeeping, Scores From 35 Yards
Still impressive, but that's some poor decision-making by the keeper....
Four Loko Hasn't Killed The Malt Liquor 40 Yet, But Better Drink Fast
While screwing around on Twitter Sunday afternoon, I made the stunning and repulsive discovery that Betspin impresario Jay Sanin is a habitual Four Loko drinker. At first, I thought he just posted this picture as a goof, but further investigation revealed that he is a married man with two dogs, a ...
Everton Saves Point At Liverpool with Phil Jagielka Half-Volley Stunner
A stoppage-time equalizer from Phil Jagielka silenced the crowd at Anfield and seized a point from Liverpool at today's rendition of the Merseyside Derby. ...
Rugby Guy Gets Hit In The Balls, Checks To Make Sure They're Still There
This happened during the Rugby World Cup way back in 2003, but it's surfaced on the internet now because the English rugby team is celebrating the top moments from the 2003 tournament (thanks, English rugby!) This top moment involves Will Greenwood taking a shot to the balls while getting tackled, a...
Mauro Zárate Drills Home Magnificent Volley Off The Deflection
West Ham United took a 1-0 lead on Crystal Palace today when Mauro Zárate—in his first start for a new squad—lined up a volley after a sky-high deflection of a shot from teammate Mark Noble....
West Ham Idiot Runs Length Of Pitch, Takes Free Kick For Spurs
An Idiot On The Field invaded the pitch at Upton Park today, and made the most of his time in the spotlight: he took a crucial free kick for the visiting Tottenham Hotspur....
Ted Lasso Is Back, And He's Still Clueless About Soccer
Jason Sudeikis has reprised his role as Ted Lasso, the American football coach who doesn't know shit about soccer, and the bit is still funny....
Yaya Touré Wants To Go Home Because Nobody Made Him A Birthday Cake
Apparently, Manchester City superstar and greatest midfielder currently doing it Yaya Touré is unhappy with his club. Why, you might wonder, when they just won the Premier League in exciting fashion, featuring him as their best player? Because the team didn't celebrate his birthday....
Man United Hire New Manager, Already Expect To Win Premier League
It's not even next season yet and we've already got the first lolunited post of the '14-'15 campaign. New Manchester United ship captain Louis van Gaal has officially been christened, and in lieu of smacking him across the head with a champagne bottle, they've promised him £150M, with an expectation...
Elderly Samuel Eto'o Bashes Mourinho, Plans To Play As <em>Actual</em> Old Man
Samuel Eto'o is in the Ivory Coast today in support of the Copa Coca Cola, an international youth tournament. In an interview before the event, he had some choice words for the "fool" José Mourinho and anyone else who wants to fuck with Hollywood Court....
The 2013-14 Premier League Season Was Well And Truly Fucking Awesome
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. There was pessimism, hope, and ultimately failure. There was schadenfreude; oh, was there schadenfreude. There were also huge games, mesmerizing goals, and more twists in the title race than a M. Night Shyamalan movie (but actually good). To cap o...
Soccer-Loving Grandma Does Not Appreciate Her Grandkids' Prank
Some mischevious Man City supporters decided that it would be fun to trick their grandma into thinking that City had scored an early goal during its title-clinching game against West Ham yesterday. Granny did not appreciate their shenanigans....
Reading Fans Mistakenly Think They Get Into Playoffs, Invade Pitch
Crazy things are happening in English soccer today and the folks at Sky Sports have got us all covered. Here they are calling the most heartbreaking news of the day: Reading F.C.'s brief flirtation with the playoffs. ...