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Wayne Rooney Scores Goal From 50 Yards Away
Wayne Rooney opened the scoring for Manchester United today with a long-range bomb reminiscent of Luis Suarez's goal for Liverpool two years ago, a 50-yard volley that left NBC's announcers almost at a loss for words. We're sure Rooney's West Ham opponents had a few, though....

Tottenham Boss Bashes Players, Flexes Imaginary Muscles
Spurs, Spurs, Spurs. It's always something with you guys, isn't it?...

How The Transfer Window Makes Us Joyless <em>Football Manager</em> Drones
If you're still irrationally hoping, praying that one or two of those impossibly tantalizing rumors—David Luiz to Barça? Cavani to Chelsea?—comes true to legitimize the hours you spent throughout the month mashing the refresh button on The Daily Mail's transfer gossip page just as soon as you had fu...

Check Out Daniel Sturridge's Outrageous Rainbow Shot Golazo
It's not every day a center back pings a perfect long ball over the back four for an assist, but then again it's not every day that a striker's first-time, high-arching shot actually finds the back of the net. Did I mention that he wasn't even looking?...

Juan Mata Is Signed. What Will Manchester United Do With Him?
We knew something had to give at Manchester United, what with the team's huge mounds of money begging to fill the huge holes in the squad, but it's still a bit of a surprise that the deal in hand is for Chelsea's Juan Mata, bought for a reported £37M. A bona fide world-class number 10 is a nice addi...

"Diehard" Soccer Fans Pretend To Know Players Who Don't Exist
Well, well, maybe Americans aren't the only ones who don't know anything about soccer. ...

Sad Manchester United Allow Elderly Samuel Eto'o To Score Hat Trick
No one would have imagined this before the season started: Chelsea demolishes Manchester United 3-1, and the only remotely surprising thing is that Samuel Eto'o—a thousand years old, a chronic misfirer—was the man who knocked in the goals. And yet that's how it is....

Aston Villa's Nathan Baker Stretchered Off After Strike To The Face
Villa Park played host to a scary moment today as Aston Villa defender Nathan Baker had to be given oxygen on the pitch after catching an Arsenal strike square in the face....

The Worst Owner In Sports: A Photo Gallery
Vincent Tan, Malaysian billionaire and owner of Cardiff City, is the worst owner in sports. He is also a pretty hilarious looking dude. With that in mind, we decided to take a journey with the man through his decidedly up-and-down 2013....

Cardiff City Owner Boos Own Team After Blown Lead In Final 10 Seconds
Cardiff City owner Vincent Tan is earning his reputation as the soccer world's Jerry Jones. After sacking manager Malky Mackay for airing "dirty linen" earlier this week, the Malaysian billionaire joined an angry crowd of Welshmen in booing his own team after a late Sunderland goal led to a 2-2 dra...

Alvaro Negredo's Goal Won Man City The Biggest Game Of The Season
Whenever you have, coming into today's games, six teams within six points of the league leaders, nearly every week will bring a matchup that seems like the Game of the Season. But while many of those earlier competitions ended up being cagey affairs with both sides playing to avoid defeat, today's M...

Dani Osvaldo's Golazo Will Make You Forget About That Suárez Guy
So, that Suárez goal from earlier this week? We think Southampton striker Dani Osvaldo topped it today....

EMU Fires Head Coach For Insane Tirade Directed At Team
Ron English and his Eastern Michigan squad were off to a rough 1-8 start to the year and on Friday, EMU fired English saying a change in leadership was necessary. Today the school elaborated and the Detroit News provided the context: audio of a profanity-fest of a locker room tirade from English. ...

Aaron Ramsey Scores When He Wants, Which Is All The Time
Maybe the story of Arsenal's season boils down to the story of Aaron Ramsey. The young kid with as much talent as anyone endured years of setbacks until finally putting it all together in a wonder campaign where he shows he's better than you could conceive. Can it continue? Who knows. But it's a jo...

Loic Remy's Late Goal Seals Newcastle Upset Over Chelsea
It seems like we've been here before, with a member of the Premier League's royalty losing unexpectedly to a team with nowhere near comparable talent. But that's the 2013 season for you, where Arsenal and Liverpool face off in a top-of-the-table clash while fighting off the likes of Tottenham, Sout...

Stoke City Keeper Scores Goal Within First 15 Seconds
It took keeper Asmir Begović merely 15 seconds to score his first career goal when the cleared ball bounced over Southampton's Artur Boruc and in for an incredibly early 1-0 Stoke City lead. Begović's goal was the fifth ever by a keeper in EPL; the last instance was Tim Howard in 2012....

Mourinho So Excited By Torres Winner He Goes Into Stands, Gets Kissed
Last week Chelsea manager José Mourinho went into the stands after being sent off. Today he went back amongst the supporters, but voluntarily after Fernando Torres's 90th-minute winner to down Manchester City. ...

Sone Aluko's Volley Winner For Hull City Is One Of This Season's Best
Hull City's opened its first campaign in the Premiership since 2010 solidly; they're smack in the middle of the table, and stunning more established sides with spectacular plays. One of those came today as Sone Aluko slammed home a massive volley to steal a win from Newcastle....

Lampard Chelsea's Record Goal Scorer, Delivers Blues To Champions League
Today's Aston Villa-Chelsea match held many futures in its outcome: UEFA Champions League dreams for Chelsea and Tottenham Hotspur, and attempts to avoid relegation for Villa. The day would end up being even more dramatic than that, though....