epl Page 28 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's Better To Be Lucky Than Good
Craig Dawson brought West Brom back equal by carefully exerting mind control over Bournemouth’s Charlie Daniels in order to create a wonderfully-bending deflection goal. He should use that superpower more often....
Claudio Ranieri's Statement After Getting Fired Is Sad And Great
Claudio Ranieri has been fired by Leicester City, and he probably deserved it, even after accomplishing the impossible the year before. That doesn’t mean he isn’t still the best, though, as his statement in light of his firing attests:...
Leicester City Have Fired Title-Winning Manager Claudio Ranieri
Leicester City manager Claudio Ranieri, the architect of the greatest, most shocking, I-still-can’t-believe-it-happened-even-though-it-definitely-did championship victory in the history of sports, has reportedly been fired today....
Premier League Ref: Arsène Wenger Told Me To "Fuck Off"
About a month ago, Arsène Wenger got himself a four-match touchline ban for his behavior in a league game between Arsenal and Burnley. We all knew part of the ban was because Wenger pushed the fourth official after being sent to the stands by the head referee, but we didn’t know what exactly he said...
Fed-Up Chileans Organize March To Convince Alexis Sánchez To Leave Arsenal
Alexis Sánchez, the pride of Chile, is one of the best soccer players on the planet. He’s also trapped on a bullshit team that kind of sucks, where—amazing goals and dribbles and passes be damned—he’ll probably never win anything of major consequence. To top it off, his bullshit team is balking at p...
Arsène Wenger Says He Will Manage Next Season, But Maybe Not At Arsenal
Arsenal had a big match in the Champions League on Wednesday, which is another way of saying Arsenal were yet again monumentally embarrassed in a huge moment. Arsenal are also right about at the start of the end stretch of their season, which is another way of saying that Arsenal are already out of ...
Leicester City Are Having A Garbage Season
The fairy tale of last season was real. Leicester City—such a preposterously unlikely underdog that even the instinctive Cinderella comparison feels like a woefully insufficient metaphor for the sheer absurdity of a small, recently promoted club beating Manchester United and Chelsea and Arsenal and ...
Sadio Mané Steamrolled Tottenham All By Himself
Lately, the soccer-watching world has been in the midst of a (quite understandable) inquest into the mysterious affliction affecting Liverpool in 2017. It seemed like once the calendar switched, the club that had most convincingly staked its claim as the Premier League’s second-best team this season...
American Liverpool Fan's Adam Lallama Tattoo Is Dumb And Amazing At The Same Time
Adam Lallama. Adam Lallama. A llama, with Adam Lallana’s face. I’m almost tearing up over the beauty of it all....
Manchester City Supporters Praise Jesus After Stoppage-Time Goal
Manchester City pulled out a win over Swansea City after Jesus showed no mercy to keeper Łukasz Fabiański and knocked in a rebound in the 92nd minute to give the home supporters a 2-1 win to go crazy about....
Eden Hazard Makes Arsenal Look Like Children
Chelsea doubled its lead on Arsenal early in the second half as Eden Hazard wove his way past a Gunners squad apparently completely made up of the family members of neighboring Mr. Bean. ...
Elderly Giant Peter Crouch Is Still Scoring Goals And Dancing Like A Lovable Goof
Of all the soccer players even non-obsessives can most likely recognize, Peter Crouch is probably the oddest. He was never a truly great player, and never really all that popular or famous, either. For most of you who know Peter Crouch, it’s because of two of his immutable attributes: 1) that he’s E...
This Terrible Jack Rodwell Tackle Is Why English Soccer Is Wonderfully Stupid
Just look at this shit. A beautiful touch by Tottenham’s Mousa Dembélé to slice through Sunderland’s midfield. A completely hopeless and reckless leg-smasher of a tackle by Jack Rodwell in response to Dembélé’s skill. And somehow, despite standing three feet away with a perfect view of the clatterin...
Apparently Nobody Wants To Make It Hard For Chelsea To Win The Premier League
Chelsea came into today’s huge match against Liverpool atop the Premier League with an eight-point lead in the table that seemed right on the cusp of insurmountability. A loss away at Liverpool, once perceived to be Chelsea’s strongest rivals for the title, was probably the only thing that could tru...
David Luiz Definitely Stole This Free Kick And It Was Genius
My first thought after seeing the ball fly into Liverpool’s completely undefended net after a set piece was Holy shit, what just happened? My next was Oh wow, what a great psych-out free kick routine by Chelsea there! It was only upon my third thought that the true magnitude of the situation’s brill...
Dimitri Payet Gets Out Of England While The Getting Is Good<em></em>
Oh, Dimitri, we hardly knew ye—not that we were given much of a chance, seeing as your too-brief and utterly incandescent Premier League career lasted just a season and a half. ...
Granit Xhaka Interviewed By Police After Allegedly Calling Airport Worker A "Fucking White Bitch"
Arsenal midfielder Granit Xhaka was in London’s Heathrow Airport yesterday to see off his girlfriend’s brother on a flight to Germany. Things didn’t go as planned, though, and when the brother learned that he would miss his flight, Xhaka allegedly blew up on an employee of the airport, calling the w...
Manchester City Might Be Too Good To Become Great
That was more like it. Sure, Manchester City’s 2-2 draw against Tottenham on Saturday was on one hand frustratingly disappointing, seeing as the Citizens completely dominated Spurs and, barring some poor finishing, even worse refereeing, and a couple ill-timed defensive lapses, could’ve and should’v...
Arsène Wenger Charged By F.A. After Pushing Referee
Arsenal manager Arsène Wenger has now been formally charged with misconduct by the English F.A. after a spat he instigated with the referees during yesterday’s Premier League match against Burnley....