epl Page 62 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Last Night's Winner: The Case For Robot Umpires
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the fallibility of man, or at least of third base umpire Bob Davidson, whose blown call cost the Marlins the game....

Frank Lampard Humiliated By A Cartoon Character
It's a particularly sad day for Frankie Lamps, with news (in The Sun) that a great big pile of golden iPods emblazoned with his extravagant autograph have been "melted down" and replaced with a popular Japanese cartoon character, called Hello Kitty....

Here's a Picture of Matt Kemp Putting on a Sequined Glove
Here are a couple questions about the Dodgers' 80s Night Promotion (for which Rihanna's boyfriend is posing in the above photo):...

WE ARE UNDER ATTACK BY DEVILS
Hence, the prolonged wheel-spinning you may be experiencing. From Gawker Quality Assurance: "It appears that we are under attack again, and are seeing major problems as a result." Just be patient or FUCKING PRAY QUIETLY BEFORE THEY MAKE YOUR EYES BLEED....

FIFA Mans Up, Sort Of
Sepp Blatter apologized to England and said FIFA will consider replay on goal line calls, a development that will come as some salve to the US team. Sorry Mexico: still no replay for offsides calls, probably because you don't speak English. [AP]...

"GAYTR" License Plate Raises Some Questions
An FSU fan seriously committed to the joke? A UF grad who's blissfully unaware? Or just one of the tens of thousands (statistically speaking) of literally gay Florida alumni, and we're just being insensitive jerks? (H/T to commenter chartman1.)...

The Tiger Woods Injury-Condition Flub You've Been Waiting For All Day
Tiger Woods' bulging disc has forced him to exit The Players Championship and occasioned a Freudian moment from one unfortunate Golf Channel reporter, who called the injury a "bulging dick." H/T Michael....

Commence Your Snickering: Tiger Pulls Out Of The Players With Bulging Disc
Woods is out of The Players Championship with what he thinks is a bulging disc. He had shot a 70-71-71 going into today and now withdraws after knocking a fat double-entendre right down the fairway. [NYT]...

Here's The Yankees' Triple Play You'll Be Seeing Over And Over Tonight
Sometimes in baseball, as in life, events conspire to create a single, perfect result: a perfect game. However, a triple play is pretty great too, even one turned by the Yankees. [Video via MLB.com]...

Security Guard Beats Up Fan At Dodgers Game
This video, shot on Opening Day at Dodger Stadium, has it all: some casual racism, a flying chest-kick, the security-guard-on-fan action that everyone loves, and the inevitable Greek chorus yelling, "It's going on YouTube!" [YouTube; earlier]...

Today In Girls Sports Hijinks: The Human-Step-Ladder-Dunk Calamity
At the intersection of two great genres, Disastrous Attempts at Dunking and Middle-Schoolers Getting Hurt, lies this dunk mishap. Featuring a back-and-forth not seen in 70 years (or so), this basketball game took a turn toward the hilarious. [emailsfromthecube]...

Michigan Fan Can't Think Of Any Way To Show His Loyalty Other Than His License Plate
A lawyer and Michigan grad is suing the state for revoking his "WLVRNE" license plate (from his 2003 Corvette, by the way), which they say they had already given to someone else. UM's law school must be so proud. [AP]...

Philadelphia: Home Of Rotten Fans, Underachieving Teams And Dick Towels
I'm not sure what the context of the poor woman doing the "news" is for sure, but it appears the usual post-mortem at Chickie's and Pete's where they get crowd reactions from drunk people about the Eagles game....

Massachusetts Has Exactly 1500 Celtics Fans
The Celtics license plate finally hit the magic number of orders to be produced. All it took was three years and a title to find the 1500 people necessary....

You Can't Drag Baseball Into The 21st Century
Like many others, I assumed that Major League Baseball would have no choice but to cave in and expand the use instant replay this offseason, but I underestimated the league's commitment to completely ignoring public opinion at all times....

Upon Further Review, Baseball Is Stupid
Baseball won't be expanding instant replay anytime soon, because baseball doesn't want its outcomes to be an accurate reflection of what transpires on the field so much as an expression of the yearnings in Tim McClelland's heart....

The Learning Curve: The Replacement Refs
This segment is called "The Learning Curve" where you, young blog proprietor, will get a link to your new site on Deadspin. Any and all questions you may have about being a successful blogger will (hopefully) be answered....

Baseball's Robot Revolution Is Coming
The umpires managed to not screw up the Phillies-Rockies game last night (I think), but that hasn't stopped people from continuing to talk about how horrible they are. Today's solution? Let's turn baseball into tennis!...

Bruntlett's Unassisted Triple Play Closes Out the Mets
The Mets rallied off of Phillies closer Brad Lidge in the bottom of the ninth, only to watch Jeff Francoeur line out to Eric Bruntett. The second baseman stepped on second and tagged Daniel Murphy to end the game....

Chad Ochocinco Tweets By His Own Rules
Ochocinco: "I'm using Twitter during games." NFL: No, you're not. Ochocinco: "Damn NFL and these rules, I am going by my own set of rules, I ain't hurting nobody or getting in trouble, I am putting my foot down!!" [PFT]...