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Michelle Beadle Takes A Salmon To The Face
Thanks to John Oliver's Last Week Tonight segment on the salmon cannon, a device designed to help stupid fish get around dams so they can migrate and spawn, we have this wonderful GIF of Michelle Beadle getting a salmon to the head. Should've been you, Cowherd....

MSU QB Suffers Most Horrific Injury In History, Per Kirk Herbstreit
Here's ABC/ESPN's Kirk Herbstreit getting his words a bit mixed up as he describes Michigan State quarterback Connor Cook suffering—literally!—an on-field cardiectomy....

"Urban Meyer Is A Juggalo": Your <em>College GameDay</em> Sign Roundup
Quality work from Michigan State this week on College GameDay. Here is your sign roundup:...

Further Evidence Bill Simmons & Ellen DeGeneres Are The Same Person
Yesterday a commenter remarked on some similarities between ESPN word-jock Bill Simmons and entertainer Ellen DeGeneres. We conducted a detailed forensic analysis of their faces, and you can see the shocking results in the above video....

That Whole ESPN Report On RGIII Was Kind Of A Mess
On Sunday, ESPN had a big Trouble-in-Landover report that was actually two stories rolled into one. The juicier one, a claim that a locker-room outburst was proof that Robert Griffin III had "alienated" his teammates, was quickly disputed by a whole bunch of reporters who were in the room. Now the s...

Photoshop Contest: What Is Keyshawn Johnson Standing In Front Of?
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Let's All Listen To Lou Holtz Talk About "Hard Wood"
"That's what Holtz means... hard wood."...

"Trevone Enjoys Boykin Dudes": Your <em>College GameDay</em> Sign Roundup
Here's the "best" of what West Virginia had to offer on ESPN's College GameDay this morning....

<em>College GameDay</em> Brings Back Greatest Halloween Segment Ever
Those creepy, uncanny masks the ESPN College GameDay crew put up each Halloween are back. Enjoy the Brian Kelly, Mark Helfrich, Bill Snyder, and Mark Dantonio nighmares! ...

John Clayton Sent A Gift To The Player Who Ended Brian Bosworth's Career
John Clayton, who covered the Seahawks for nine years before joining ESPN in 1995, made an appearance on Seattle's ESPN radio affiliate Wednesday, and was asked about the 30 for 30 documentary "Brian and the Boz," which had debuted on ESPN the night before. He revealed that once upon a time, young...

The SEC Really Does Benefit From Media Bias In Polls
This past week, four of the top five teams in the Associated Press College Football Poll hailed from the SEC West Division. Nebraska coach Bo Pelini, among others, wondered aloud whether ESPN's ownership of the brand-new SEC network, which launched this year, might be responsible for such a coinci...

PR Guy Pulls Colt McCoy Away From ESPN Deportes Interview: "No Means No"
Colt McCoy was the hero of tonight's big Washington win over Dallas, and so it figures that he'd be doing the run through of all the ESPN networks—given they hold the broadcast rights to Monday Night games, after all. Turns out a PR handler doesn't want McCoy talking to ESPN's Spanish-language Depor...

Lou Holtz Sneezes On Air; Rece Davis Doesn't Miss A Beat
Lou Holtz couldn't suppress his sneeze during a halftime report yesterday, and we were all fortunate enough to hear the adorable, party-favor sound he made. Rece Davis moved on gracefully, while Holtz laughed it off and said ... something....

Colonel Reb Voted Obama: Your <em>College GameDay</em> Sign Roundup
SEC football superiority means SEC GameDay sites and SEC-level GameDay sign humor. (That's increasingly proving to be a bad thing.) ...

Frank Caliendo Has A Spot-On Stephen A. Smith Impersonation
Frank Caliendo was on that ESPN radio show with the two Mikes, and broke out his Stephen A. Smith impersonation, "Stephen B. Smith." The unnecessarily wordy sentences, the name-dropping—it's perfect....

Watch This Guy Describe The Last 60 World Series Endings From Memory
Mark Simon is one of the brains behind ESPN Stats & Info, and he possesses a scary-accurate ability to recall specific and minute bits of information on the fly. Watch as he gives a detailed description of the last play of each World Series from the past 60 years....

Jeanie Buss Goes In On "Losers" Who Don't Want To Play With Kobe
Things aren't going so great for the Los Angeles Lakers right now. Their head coach is dead set on implementing a caveman brand of basketball that may very well turn the Lakers into the worst team in the NBA, and a recent story by ESPN's Henry Abbott painted Kobe Bryant as a self-sabotaging sociopat...

In Which We Learn That Tim Kurkjian Bites His Fingernails
It's cool. We all have vices. ESPN's Tim Kurkjian chews his fingernails. Hey, it could have been worse. It might have been his toenails!...

"The Buttfumble Song," Starring ESPN's Mike Tirico
During last night's Monday Night Football clash in Pittsburgh, ESPN announcer Mike Tirico referred to the Buttfumble by its proper title. While analysts and and anchors have previously mentioned that great event, we can't recall ever hearing "buttfumble" spoken during a game (and a search of closed ...

Make Sure Your Gambling Experts Hit Wardrobe Before Going On Air
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