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Anonymous NBA Agents: Nobody Wants To Play With Kobe Bryant
ESPN has dropped a feature on Kobe Bryant in the latest issue of ESPN: The Magazine, and it's a doozy. The title "Is Kobe Bryant the reason for the Los Angeles Lakers' downfall?" seems misleadingly non-committal, as author Henry Abbott clearly believes that the answer is an unequivocal "yes." The ...

What's Lou Holtz Saying Here?
I've watched this 10 times now, and am still in the dark. Here's the best transcription I could muster:...

Rape Jokes Everywhere: Your <em>College GameDay</em> Sign Roundup
ESPN security has given up....

Hey, Where The Hell Is Bill Simmons's Friday NFL Picks Column?
Where in the damn hell is the Friday NFL picks column? Just where the hell is it? Don't come at me with this Barnwell skunkweed oregano shit, man. The suspension is over, man, I need that good Simmons shit, the freshest NFL picks weed. I pay my mortgage on Simmons picks! Jesus fucking Christ ...

Studio Alarm OBLITERATES Keith Olbermann's Train Of Thought
Olbermann? More like, Pardon the Interruption. OK, that was horrible....

Bill Simmons Is Back
As of midnight, Bill Simmons's three-week suspension for criticizing Roger Goodell and daring ESPN to punish him is over. He returned with his NBA season preview, and a whole lot of questions about his future....

The NBA's New TV Deal Includes Plans For Ads On Jerseys
Advertisements on NBA uniforms are inevitable—the association logo is heading to the back of the uniform to make room, and the only reason a 2.5" x 2.5" ad patch wasn't on the front shoulder last year was because they couldn't agree on how to split up the money. But in case you were still clinging t...

"Malzahn Eats Blue Waffles": Your <em>College GameDay</em> Sign Roundup
Don't Google that. (With help from SEC Nation, because Starkville was a bit disappointing.)...

For Once, Some Accurate Analysis
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Jason Whitlock Has Written His Magnum Derpus
ESPN columnist Jason Whitlock wrote a column last night wherein he tackled Monday's Michael Brown protests outside of Busch Stadium. Protesters demanding justice for Brown's shooting death at the hands of Ferguson police officer Darren Wilson were met by a crowd of Cardinals fans exulting in the dea...

Hey, Bill Simmons, Come Work For Us!
Bill Simmons’s three-week suspension from ESPN ends on Wednesday, and there is already a lot of conjecture about how the suspension has affected his relationship with higher-ups at ESPN, and if he will stay with the network when his contract is up next year. He could stay at ESPN. He could go to Ble...

Sweet ESPN Martial Arts Broadcast A Throwback To Network's Early Days
If you're old enough to remember any of the 80's, you know that ESPN wasn't always the home to 24-hour jabbering analysts and NFL talk shows. In its more fledgling days, the WWL aired whatever content to which it could obtain rights; thus, Americans were introduced to wacky hat-wearing and fingerg...

ESPN And TNT Think NBA Broadcasts Are Worth A Lot More Than The NFL's
Adam Silver proudly announced the NBA's new TV deal with ESPN and TNT this morning, one that nearly triples how much its cable partners will pay the league to broadcast its regular season and playoff games. That amount—$2.7 billion a year—is especially insane when compared to what NBC, Fox, and CBS ...

Lou Holtz Doesn't Know What Ameer Abdullah's Name Is
Nebraska running back Ameer Abdullah is among a short list of players worthy of early-season Heisman talk, but ESPN college football analyst and race-baiter advocate Lou Holtz doesn't even know the Cornhuskers star's name—inserting, instead, something we're sure he finds appropriately "Ay-rabbic."...

Wake Up!
It's Saturday. College GameDay is in Oxford. SEC Nation is in Starkville. (There's probably soccer being played somewhere, too.) The rest of your Saturday crew will be here shortly. ...

ESPN Declares Big Ten, ACC "Not Power Five Conferences"
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Bill Simmons Is Just Maxin' And Relaxin' On His Instagram Account
It's been nine days since ESPN suspended Bill Simmons for going on a mildly profane and not-at-all edgy rant about NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. So what's Simmons been up to since then? Based on his Instagram account (which he is apparently not banned from using, unlike his Twitter account), it ...

ESPN's Andrew Brandt Really Needs A New Twitter Joke
A thing that happens quite often on Twitter is that people will tweet out pictures of strange foods, usually because those foods are grotesque in size or construction, and thus there is a need to gawk at them. This is a communal exercise, involving various Twitter users retweeting pictures of the fo...
![That ESPN Domestic Violence Panel You Keep Hearing About Isn't Real [Updates]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/jrmtwawnfg6prnrxecyw.jpg)
That ESPN Domestic Violence Panel You Keep Hearing About Isn't Real [Updates]
On Friday, Esquire.com's Ben Collins wrote a blog post in which some awkward phrasing made it appear as though tonight's episode of Monday Night Countdown on ESPN will feature a special panel discussion on domestic violence....