ew Page 2063 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Bills Ran A Play From <i>Tecmo Super Bowl</i>
The Buffalo Bills went deep into the playbook on their opening drive tonight, running LeSean McCoy and Chris Ivory on direct snaps in full house backfield setups. Might as well break out some trickery to try to beat the New England Patriots....
What The Fuck, Warriors
Look at that fuckin’ score. Klay Thompson hit 10 threes in the first half. The Warriors went 17-of-27 from beyond the arc before halftime. That’s some shit where if I did it in 2K I would be ashamed, and would immediately turn the difficulty up....
Joe Lacob's Attempt To Hose Oakland Taxpayers Out Of $40 Million Rejected By Arbitrator
The Golden State Warriors are leaving Oracle Arena after this season, for a fresh new arena in Mission Bay and home crowds even more dominated by Silicon Valley parasites and vampires than what they see now in Oakland. If there’s any sliver of silver lining for Golden State’s Oakland fans, it’s tha...
Regis Prograis, The Swamp Creature, Is Evolving
To prepare for the swamp monster, the New Orleans Lakefront Arena had a little fog machine going, with a fan attached to it, like a college house party. There were concentric circles of vertical spotlights, and when they put them on through that fog machine you could, with a little imagination, thin...
The Warriors Don't Give A Shit About Fergie's Feelings
The Golden State Warriors had a response to Fergie’s ex-husband, Josh Duhamel, calling Draymond Green a “prick” in the form of a semi-choreographed dance. The team celebrated a comeback road victory over the New York Knicks in the locker room with a remixed version of Fergie’s embarrassingly poor re...
Fergie's Ex-Husband Calls Out That "Prick" Draymond Green For Laughing At Her Dreadful Rendition Of The National Anthem
Before the start of the 2018 NBA All-Star game, Fergie uncorked a staggeringly bizarre rendition of what was supposedly the national anthem on an unsuspecting public. Like everyone else who heard it, Draymond Green had himself a chuckle, perhaps because he’d just witnessed a lady singing the word “w...
After Roman Reigns's "Raw" Moment, Where Is The Line In WWE?
This has been a weird week....
Normal Joe Flacco Bought A Mattress From Sean Payton's Brother Down The Jersey Shore
The Saints beat the Ravens on Sunday on the rarest of rarities. So there would’ve been a lot to potentially talk about in the postgame meet-and-greet, but Joe Flacco got right to the important stuff: He needed to let Sean Payton know that Payton’s brother sold him a mattress on the Jersey Shore a fe...
Race-Baiting Troll Phil Mushnick Is Really Reaching For Excuses To Be Racist Now
What’s that cranky old knob Phil Mushnick been up to lately besides scolding Joakim Noah for being an ungrateful black person because Noah said he’s against war? Other race-baiting shit, it seems. Today, he published a column titled, “The sick, disturbing video that ESPN thought was a laugh riot,” w...
Why Didn't The Raiders See If They Could Get More For Khalil Mack?
The Raiders got a good haul for all-world pass-rusher Khalil Mack, when they traded him to the Bears just before the start of the season. But that doesn’t mean they couldn’t conceivably have gotten a better one. Now there’s a report that says they didn’t even try....
<i>Washington Post</i> Takes Desperate Phony Britt McHenry Seriously, With Embarrassing Results
Britt McHenry—the replacement-level rabble-rouser and laid-off sports reporter most famous for getting caught on video being an entitled asshole to a towing-company employee—has, for some time, been in the process of pivoting to a career in right-wing punditry. Today, the Washington Post Magazine pi...
WWE Says Saudi Arabia Show Will Go On
For weeks, WWE had only said it was “monitoring the situation” in Saudi Arabia ahead of its scheduled event in Riyadh on November 2. The “situation,” of course, is the murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi in Istanbul, on top of the kingdom’s plethora of human-rights violations, including but definit...
Mike Francesa Rants About Reporter Who Made Fun Of His Expensive App
Mike Francesa’s return to WFAN has been underwhelming, although if you’ll recall what he was doing before he retired for four months, it’s actually in line with the personality of a 60-something radio guy who hates to take direction. The most interesting thing about him right now is a feud he’s star...
Steph Curry Is The Master Of G-Rated Humiliation
Steph Curry was in the mood for smiley annihilation last night. After he tossed up the ball that would net him his 41st, 42nd, and 43rd points, he backpedaled into the opposing bench to pay a visit to Austin Rivers....
Jets Say Bilal Powell's Injury Could End His Career
Jets running back Bilal Powell has been placed on season-ending IR after suffering a neck injury that will require surgery, and head coach Todd Bowles says there’s a chance it could be career-ending as well. It happened on a play that didn’t look all that bad at the time, which almost makes it scari...
Public Service Announcement: Do Not Tug On Steph Curry's Brother's Shorts For Any Reason
Steph Curry seemed like he was in a frisky mood in pregame warmups, but no one could possibly have anticipated just how frisky. Steph put 51 points on the board through three quarters against the Wizards, on an absolutely insane selection of wild-ass, irresponsible shots:...
Clearly Steph Is Bored With Basketball As We Know It
When you’re Steph Curry, and there’s no shot available in the normal course of a basketball game that you can’t make with your eyes closed, eventually you reach a point where you need to invent strange and avant-garde forms in order to feel alive. This is the weird outer realm of galactic-brain shot...
Pelicans Brass: Please Stop Calling Our GM A Pile Of Poop
Dell Demps has not had a great run as general manager of the New Orleans Pelicans. Mostly he has squandered the early part of Anthony Davis’s career, weighing down the roster with stiffs like Ömer Aşik and Alexis Ajinça, and making years’ worth of win-now moves that never actually produced a sustai...
Giants Trade Damon Harrison, Prepare For Long Winter Of Tanking
The NFL trade market has been unusually active in the days leading up to this year’s deadline, thanks in large part to the willingness of the crap-ass Raiders and Giants to spend the rest of the season tanking. The Giants began their march to the toilet yesterday when they traded cornerback Eli Appl...