ew Page 2072 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

All Is Not Well In Minnesota

Jimmy Butler helped the Minnesota Timberwolves improve their win total by a whopping 16 games from the 2016-2017 season to last season. Playing with one of the NBA’s most promising young big men and surrounded by, umm, a familiar cast of playoff-tested veterans, it would seem that Butler has landed ...

Josh Gordon Traded To The Patriots, Of Fucking Course

And here are the terms:...

This Is Who The Giants Are

I don’t want to hear a single reader complain about having to watch the Giants in primetime. Buddy, I live here; I’m forced to watch them every week. And yes, based on this extensive firsthand knowledge, they absolutely are this bad....

Tavon Austin Embarrasses Giants Secondary For First Touchdown In Two Years

It didn’t take long for Tavon Austin and the Cowboys to show their true colors and disrespect the red, white and blue on national television, again. Dak “MAGA Seneca Wallace” Prescott got Dallas on the board early with a deep bomb to Austin, who’d burst right past New York’s defense in an absolute b...

A Bullshit Penalty Let The Vikings Tie The Packers [Update]

The NFL’s absolutely terrible and impossible new definition of roughing the passer—which prohibits defensive players from landing on quarterbacks with their body weight—came into play during today’s Vikings-Packers game and directly affected the outcome. In what eventually became a 29-29 tie (don’t ...

It Is Brutally Hot In Jacksonville

The Jaguars’ home opener is a rematch of the AFC Championship, and the kickoff temperature for that one was a balmy 48 degrees. But that was at Foxboro. This is Jacksonville, a.k.a. Satan’s armpit, and temperature at kickoff is 97 degrees—with the humidity making it feel more like 107. It is the hot...

Saints Become First Team To Beat Browns In 37 Weeks<em></em><em></em><em></em>

The New Orleans Saints snapped their winless streak that dated back over eight months, and ended the Browns’ lengthy undefeated stretch of 37 weeks, by taking down undefeated Cleveland this afternoon, 21-18....

Damontae Kazee Ejected For Late Helmet-To-Helmet Hit On Cam Newton<em></em>

A 10-yard fourth-down scramble from Cam Newton led to a brutal head-to-head collision and an ejection for Falcons safety Damontae Kazee in the second quarter of today’s Panthers-Falcons game. Newton slid down at the end of his run and took a straight-on helmet-to-helmet hit from the Falcons defender...

This <i>Daily News</i> Sam Darnold Cover Is Terrible; I'm Dying

Jets rookie QB Sam Darnold was perfectly okay in his NFL debut last week, a 48-17 Jets win over the Lions more notable for the Jets defense knowing “everything” the Lions were running before they snapped the ball. But Darnold, following a first-ever-pass pick-six, got it together and looked as good ...

North Texas Genius Dupes Arkansas With Perfect Fake-Fair-Catch Punt Return

This happened in the first quarter in today’s North Texas-Arkansas game. Arkansas punter Blake Johnson launched a low and knuckling punt to the North Texas 10 yard line, where it was fielded cleanly by Keegan Brewer, whose body language following the catch was that of a man who had no intention of a...

Disease-Carrying Vermin Still A Little Too On-The-Nose As Coincidental Mets-Adjacent Phenomenon 

The Red Sox, healthy, secure, surging toward the best season in franchise history, played with the toy skeleton of a rat in their dugout Friday night, mounting it on the dugout wall and putting seeds in its little mouth. Ha ha! The Mets, helpless, sick, crawling along in ignominy toward the conclusi...

This Fucking Fireman Ed Is Back, Again

Fireman Ed announced his “retirement” from, uhh, attending Jets games in a helmet and teaching Jets fans how to spell a one-syllable word back in 2012. He’s made appearances since then, but only do to heroic things like pass the torch to a younger generation of people who loudly spell a word at foot...

Report: Joakim Noah And Knicks Will Be Liberated From One Another

The bitter feud between the New York Knicks and their most overpaid and underused player may be close to a resolution, per Shams Charania of The Athletic:...

David Wright Will Come Back To The Mets, And Then He'll Get To Leave

On Tuesday—before a 5-3 Mets loss to the Marlins, in which Jacob deGrom broke a 108-year-old MLB record by allowing three or fewer runs in his 26th straight start and also saw his record drop to 8-9 on the season—David Wright took a meeting with his team’s COO, who is the son of the team’s owner, an...

Islanders Goalie Robin Lehner Writes About His Mental Health Struggles: "I Wanted To Kill Myself"

New York Islanders goalie Robin Lehner wrote a candid essay for The Athletic about his years-long addiction to drugs and alcohol, his thoughts of suicide, his time in rehab, and his eventual bipolar diagnosis. ...

Willians Astudillo Is A True Sports Hero

Willians Astudillo is a big fellow. Round. Built like a very short nose tackle. And he is a catcher, the most grueling position in baseball. As much as any baseball player naturally wants to score a run, it would not surprise me to learn that any catcher standing on first base is not exactly hoping ...

The Storm Snapped The Mystics In Half To Become WNBA Champs

The Seattle Storm completed their sweep of the Washington Mystics on Wednesday night, outclassing their opponent on the road and winning 98-82 to capture their first WNBA title since 2010 and third championship overall....

Antonio Brown Apologizes For Threatening To Slug ESPN Writer Over Unflattering Profile

Last week Jesse Washington of The Undefeated published a story about Antonio Brown of the Steelers. It’s at once an especially 2018 kind of profile—the word “Instagram” appears 24 times, there are another three “’Grams,” and a further seven embedded Instagram posts—and a weirdly dissonant, pearl-cl...

A New Jersey federal judge dismissed a class-action lawsuit that accused the New York Jets of screwing over PSL holders. “Agreement expressly disclaims that plaintiff is not acquiring the PSL as an investment or with a view to profiting from future distribution or resale, and further that Defendants...

Breaking: The Charles E. Smith Center Jumbotron

Dear the small person doing the surrender cobra near the precariously tilted chunk of Jumbotron: It’s going to be okay....