ew Page 2096 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Let The Cool Players Try To Trash Each Other
Here is a thing that happens way too often in the NBA: Two teams with stars at the same position face each other and, instead of the cool stars checking each other, so that they are competing directly at both ends of the floor, the coaches assign various other designated defenders to do the job of g...
Supreme Court Ruling Overturns Ban On Sports Betting
The Supreme Court just released its ruling on the state of New Jersey’s challenge of a federal law that prevented sports gambling from being legalized on the state level. In a 7-2 decision, the court ruled that the federal anti-sports gambling law was unconstitutional, giving New Jersey, and every o...
Jay Bruce Apparently Celebrated Being Traded Away From The Mets By Conceiving A Child<em></em>
The New York Mets, a team that began the season 11-1, lost their ninth game of their last 11 in Philadelphia on Sunday afternoon. Ace Noah Syndergaard, who was scheduled to start Saturday’s rained-out game against the Phillies, was skipped for reasons vague enough to be weird. Less-hairy co-ace Jaco...
Even The Reds Are Having More Fun Than The Dodgers
I could tell you that the defending NL champion Dodgers are having a bad start to the year by pointing at their 16-21 record, or their eight-game deficit in the division. But the much more evocative sign of their misfortunes is that the Cincinnati Reds—the goddang Reds—felt comfortable enough in Dod...
Faces Of Death
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Bill Belichick: Patriots Were Not Aware Of Matt Patricia's Sexual Assault Indictment
Before recently being hired by the Detroit Lions as their head coach, Matt Patricia spent 14 seasons coaching the New England Patriots. The team brought Patricia into the NFL’s coaching ranks back in 2004, and he worked his way up from an offensive assistant to defensive coordinator. In response to ...
Potential 2018 NBA Finals Outcomes, Ranked
1. Cavaliers def. Warriors...
The Warriors Are Infuriatingly Too Pretty To Hate
The Pelicans had earned a fleeting lead towards the end of Game 5's second quarter last night. They’d sunk five straight shots from four different guys, with the one-browed god Anthony Davis doubling up on feral dunks. Both these teams are lean and love to run, and at this point the tempo was furiou...
A Convicted Doper Won $10,000 In A Race Created By A Reality TV Star Who Forgot To Implement Drug Testing
Gabe Grunewald is one of the most inspiring and upsetting stories in sports right now—at just 31 years old, her running career has been interrupted by cancer three times, in 2009, 2011, and 2016. In 2017 she somehow raced a partial schedule through the U.S. championships while undergoing chemotherap...
The Mets Didn't Bat In Order And It's A Miracle They Can Even Put On Their Uniforms Correctly
Asdrúbal Cabrera gave the Mets their first hit of the game today with a ground-rule double to shallow left field, which allowed Jay Bruce the chance to bring him home. However, as soon as Bruce stepped to the plate, he was called out, stranding Cabrera and ending the inning. It seems Mets manager M...
The Rockets Better Not Fuck This Up
The Houston Rockets and Golden State Warriors wrapped up their five-game eliminations of, respectively, the Utah Jazz and New Orleans Pelicans last night. Like the series they ended, neither game was particularly closely contested; both losing teams did just enough to preserve their dignity and no m...
Aroldis Chapman Threw This Season's Fastest Pitch Right Into Jackie Bradley Jr.'s Side
Last week, Cardinals reliever Jordan Hicks threw the two fastest pitches of the season (102.0 and 101.9 mph, respectively) during the same at-bat to White Sox shortstop Tim Anderson. He didn’t get his bat on either of them but somehow managed to draw a walk. Of course Hicks couldn’t last atop the le...
The Yankees Were Obsessed With Giancarlo Stanton's Swing
The Yankees beat the Red Sox 3-2 for their 16th win in 17 games, on the back of an 11-strikeout night from Cy Young candidate Luis Severino and a go-ahead RBI single from Aaron Judge in the seventh, to move into a tie for the best record in the AL East and in all of baseball. But all any of them wan...
Oh Hey Guys What's Up?
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Bay Area TV Reporter Resigns After Stealing Warriors Employee's Jacket
Mike Shumann, a longtime sportscaster for KGO-TV in San Francisco, has announced his resignation after being caught on camera last month taking a jacket that belonged to the Golden State Warriors’ director of team security....
God Bless Playoff Rondo
The Pelicans grabbed a vital and unexpected win in their second-round series against the Warriors Friday night, in a game that was never close after the Pelicans ripped off a 10-1 run near the start of the second half. Anthony Davis and Jrue Holiday were fabulous; Nikola Mirotic got loose for a doub...
Sweaty Balls
Meet Peoria sportscaster Jim Mattson, whose segment on WEEK tonight was perspirative and gonadic. His broadcast partners were... surprised?...
Mets Finally, Fully Break Up With Matt Harvey
Baseball is difficult and contingent and deeply cruel under the best of circumstances, and playing baseball for the New York Mets is not the best of circumstances. It is a big-league job and pays commensurately, and when things are going well it comes with a gaudy suite of perks and sweeteners, but ...
The Final Installment Of The Engelb Vielma Tracker, Featuring The Greatest Anagrammed Hits
Many—most?—Orioles games feel vaguely pointless right now. The end result is usually clear before the game is underway, and while there’s plenty of different ways for the team to reach that result, those differ only in substance rather than sentiment. It’s all going to be pretty depressing. This was...