ew Page 2411 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Baseball Sure Takes Its Sweet Time, Wall Street Journal Finds
Baseball. It sure goes slowly. Sometimes something happens. Mostly, nothing happens....
The Running Of The Bulls Keeps Happening Despite Shit Like This
A mere 23 people were injured during the most recent running of the bulls, which somehow is still a thing people do. The Associated Press has a gruesome rundown of the misfortunes that befell these silly twats, many of whom collided and bottlenecked at the entrance to the bull ring. Bulls then tramp...
Chris Davis: Homer-Crusher, Ear-Penetrator
J.J. Hardy mashed a three-run homer last night to lead the O's to an 8-5 win over the Blue Jays in Baltimore, with Chris Davis and Adam Jones adding round-trippers as well. The latter pair got into some hijinks on the way back to the dugout after Hardy's bomb, with Davis giving Jones a textbook wet ...
Aussie Rules Football Player Scores Goal, Falls Down In Same Motion
Despite Australian Rules Football being one of our favorite sports here, we don't cover it often because pesky issues like time zones lead to matches being played while most of us are drunk or asleep. That's a shame, because at least two matches a week are aired here live, and they're almost always...
Pranked TV Station Reports “Ho Lee Fuk,” “Wi Tu Lo” As SF Crash Pilots
Bay Area Fox affiliate KTVU purportedly learned the names of the flight crew of Asiana flight 214, which crashed last Saturday at San Francisco International Airport, killing two. These—"Sum Ting Wong," "Wi Tu Lo," "Ho Lee Fuk," and "Bang Ding Ow"—are not their names. The newscaster's credulous rea...
Dead Letters: “This Is Truly A Fucked Up Career Path You All Chose”
Subject: Inaccuracy in a Deadspin Article...
I Will Believe Any Insane Ichiro Suzuki Story
There was a blog post today on blogger "Bloggin'" Murray Chass's blog about Yankees outfielder Ichiro Suzuki, and it includes this predictably insane story about the lengths Ichiro goes to in selecting his bats:...
Local Reporter Hilariously Demonstrates How To Survive A Bear Attack
The good folks at WJAR in Providence, R.I., do not want you to get eaten by a bear. So they sent Julie Tremmel and a cameraman out into a dark field and had them film a very helpful guide to surviving a bear attack. The key to survival appears to be making crazy eyes....
Larry King: MLB Perception Expert
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
The Yankees Rushed Derek Jeter Back, And Look What Happened
If you'd like to throw up after reading about Derek Jeter's 1-for-4 season debut, in which he never quite got the ball out of the infield, this is the column for you:...
It's Good To Be The King
From “The Age of Movies,” here’s P. Kael on History of the World, Part I:...
It's Ain't Me, Laaaaaady
Martin Short as Jerry Lewis doing Bob Dylan. (Yeah, SCTV was good.)...
Jets Lineman's Palestinian Heritage Is A Dog Whistle For Bigots
New York Jets fifth-round draft pick Oday Aboushi, the 22-year-old offensive lineman from the University of Virginia, is a physical freak. He's 6-foot-6 and weighs over 300 pounds, which is one of the main reasons why he's in the NFL. He's also a Palestinian Muslim, which is why the worst of us—th...
Martell Webster Thinks His Kids’ Pictures Suck
Wizards forward Martell Webster shared some tough love for his kids via Instagram....
Andrei Kirilenko Signs Inexplicable Deal With Brooklyn Nets
What the hell, Andrei Kirilenko? After opting out of his contract with the Minnesota Timberwolves, which would have paid him $10 million during the 2013-2014 season, AK47 has decided to sign with the Brooklyn Nets—for just $3.1 million. ...