ew Page 2434 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hey, Here's A Dildo That Is Also A Ceramic Jesus Figurine
How do you feel about the ceramic Jesus figurine pictured above? It's pretty nice, right? If you saw that figurine at a flea market, you would probably consider buying it for your religious grandmother. It would look great on her nightstand! You would just need to make sure that she never, ever turn...
<em>Chicago Tribune</em> Takes Back Its Post-Bombing Tribute To Boston
Remember the morning after the Boston Marathon bombings, when the Chicago Tribune dedicated the front page of its sports section to the city of Boston and its sports teams? That was a very sweet thing for the Tribune to do! But now, with the Bruins and Blackhawks facing each other in the Stanley Cup...
JaVale McGee Filmed Himself Giving A Homeless Person $100
JaVale McGee: still the best....
Miami's Big Three Bests San Antonio's Big One-And-Three-Quarters
For much of the playoffs the question had been whether LeBron James could just get some help from his teammates. By the time Game 3 of the Finals rolled around, it began to look like LeBron was fading. But in Game 4, LeBron, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh finally put a game together in the playoffs to l...
Shane Battier And Manu Ginobili Meet For Flopping Showdown
Shane: I've been waiting for you Manu; we meet again at last. The circle is now complete, when I left you I was the learner, but now I am the master....
Chris Stewart Holds On After Collision At Plate, Extends Extra Innings
With one out in the bottom of the 15th of a 2-2 game between the Yankees and Athletics, Coco Crisp was up and Brandon Moss represented the winning run on second base. Crisp hit a looping flare out to left field that landed just in front of Vernon Wells. Wells was running in hard, played it off one h...
Dwight Howard Will Voice A Turkey In A Movie About...Turkeys
The film is called Free Birds. Owen Wilson, Amy Poehler and Colm Meaney, who will clearly voice the Asshole Turkey, are in it. Dwight Howard will voice a character named Cold Turkey. Do you get it?...
Lee Westwood Hits One Right Into The Gallery, Checks His Eyes
Despite the steel-colored hellstorms that have consumed most of the northeastern United States during the past week, the U.S. Open did begin today, albeit with a few rain delays here and there. And thank heavens that it did. Because this happened....
This Is How You Get Away With Throwing A Ball Into Your Opponent's Face
That's Zlatan Ibrahimovic, playing for the Swedish national team and giving us all a master class in how to be a dickhead without getting caught. Oh hello, Mr. Referee. I would like to discuss that call with you in a civil and practical manner. What ball? Whose face? I don't know what you're talkin...
The Steelers Are Suing To Avoid Paying For More Seats At Heinz Field
Heinz Field is 12 years old. It's still in great shape, even if its playing surface never was. The Steelers have a waiting list for season tickets that stretches as far as the eye can see. But the stadium's capacity is just 65,500, one of the smallest in the NFL. So the Steelers would like to add an...
NBC's Fake <em>USA Today</em> Pages Actually Text From The <em>Chicago Sun-Times</em>
You may have noticed NBC running these stupid, horribly-Photoshopped USA Today pages on their sports broadcasts recently. The mockups were inane enough before we realized the text was plagiarized from a Chicago Sun-Times article about this year's Notre Dame-Michigan football game....
Beer-Wielding Mets Fan Tumbles Over Seats
We thought this would be the Metsiest Mets thing that happened today, but nope. It's this....
What's Your Hurry, Joe?
Found combing through the excellent and most bookmark-worthy site The Sports Curator, I came across this 1941 column by Jimmy Cannon:...
S'Long Suckers
Lucky for us, the Baseball Almanac has reprinted John Updikes' celebrated 1960 New Yorker story on Ted Williams' last game, "Hub Fans Bid Kid Adieu": ...
Mets Approached Cougar Site About Stuffing Ballot Box For David Wright
When the first vote totals for the MLB All-Star Game were released last week, David Wright was in second. A desperate Mets marketing department didn't want Wright to lose to Pablo Sandoval for the second year in a row, especially not with the game being held at Citi Field. So one employee decided t...
The KKK And Noisy Crickets Stopped Patrick Ewing From Going To UNC
NBA legend Patrick Ewing went on the Dan Patrick Show this morning to talk about his new position as an assistant coach for the Charlotte Bobcats, and the conversation eventually turned to reminiscing about Ewing's college days. In particular, Patrick wanted to know exactly why Ewing chose to atten...
Is Pete Carroll A 9/11 Truther?
Is Seahawks coach Pete Carroll a 9/11 truther? That all depends: Does badgering a former four-star general about whether 9/11 was real make one a truther?...
Good Thing This Oakland A's Security Guard Wore A Helmet
Because he doesn't move out of the way. He barely flinches. And he calmly acts like that baseball didn't just carom off the side of his head....
Somebody Broke Off A Huge Piece Of Clemson's Special Rock
According to various reports, another one of college football's sacred totems has been vandalized beyond repair. Police say that somebody recently broke into the Clemson University football stadium and broke a huge chunk off Howard's Rock. The stone sits on a pedestal at the top of the hill that the...
Andrew Shaw Was Mic'd Up For His Game 1 Winner, And It's Fantastic
NBC had Andrew Shaw wearing a microphone last night, and it just might be the best decision the producers have made all playoffs. ...