ew Page 2497 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

NFL Net Anchor Says He Is Bad At Math, Then Makes Horrible Math Error
Today, draft day, is, we trust, a busy day at the NFL Network. No time for lots of things. But no time for math?...

Scouting Report: Roger Goodell
With the NFL draft now upon us, we feel it's only appropriate to present this scouting report on commissioner Roger Goodell. What follows are the assessments of various NFL players, plus one television executive, and one online dictionary. ...

Te'o Still Has An Odd Explanation For Skipping Girlfriend's Funeral
After all that waiting—you were waiting for this, right?—the NFL draft has finally popped up on our calendars. Which means it's as good a time as ever for fresh eyes to try to figure out what exactly happened with Manti Te'o, who could go toward the end of tonight's first round (although he won't be...

Yes, Troy Tulowitzki Did Have A Mullet When He Was An Adorable Child
We've always been big fans Troy Tulowitzki's once-prodigious mullet (bring it back, Troy!), but until today, we had no idea that it was also an homage to Tulo's younger days. Thanks to the Colorado Rockies' Instagram account, though, we can now enjoy this picture of a mulleted, 8-year-old version of...

This Tweet About Patrick Kane Could Not Be More Inaccurate
Nice to see Kaner up to his old tricks. In Edmonton!...

Norwegian Soccer Club Pissed Because This Road Was Built On Its Pitch
Well, this creates a bit of a problem, no? Ny Krohnborg IL, a regional side that plays in Norway, came back from the offseason to find this sitting along one of the goal lines on its pitch. Surprise!...

Prankster Gets NFL Draft Attendees To Lie About Liking Fake Players
Jimmy Kimmel set the standard for shaming clueless liars when he sent a reporter to Coachella to ask people to talk about completely made-up bands, but this sports-themed version of the same prank comes mighty close to matching its ingenuity. ...

Coolest GIF Ever Shows Five Overlaid Yu Darvish Pitches
Two takeaways: Yu Darvish is really good (notice that his release point is the same on every pitch), and hitting a baseball is really hard....

Ingenious Prank Sends Parents Into Weed Panic
Comedian Nathan Fielder came up with a wonderful idea yesterday. He instructed his Twitter followers to text "got 2 grams for $20" to their parents, immediately follow up with "Sorry ignore that txt. Not for you," and then tweet a screenshot of the ensuing conversation. The results were, as you mig...

The Weight Of Tex Cobb's Belief
Here's the second of four Pete Dexter columns about Randall "Tex" Cobb's heavyweight title fight against Larry Holmes. Click here for part one. Originally published Nov. 24, 1982, as "Gifts Aren't Everything" in the Philadelphia Daily News, this column appears here with the author's permission. ...

The Brilliant, Crazy Sorority Girl Emailer Has Left Delta Gamma
You will recall the heady days of a week ago, when we first published an email from a Delta Gamma at the University of Maryland. "I don't give a fuck if you SOR me, I WILL FUCKING ASSAULT YOU"? Ring a bell?...

More Than Somewhat
Damon Runyon was a big shot sports writer in the 1920s and he became an even bigger deal as a chronicler of life on Broadway. Here is a good introduction to his work, including the short story, "Romance in the Roaring Forties." ...

This Is The Natural Evolution Of The Horseface
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

JaVale McGee Is A Big Fan Of Brazilian Girls
I really have nothing to say about this Twitter conversation that JaVale McGee just had, but it amuses me. I hope it amuses you, too....

Michael Bay's Ode To Meatheads: <em>Pain & Gain</em>, Reviewed.
There are many movies that could have been made from the raw materials of Pain & Gain, which is based on a series of outrageous Miami New Times articles about three dimwit Florida bodybuilders who in 1994 kidnapped a rich local businessman and stripped him of all his assets. Some filmmakers, for exa...


So, Where Can You Get Your NFL Draft Spoilers This Year?
One consequence of the NFL's ever-swelling influence over American sports fans has been the transformation of the NFL draft from a curiosity that was fun to watch on a lazy April weekend into a three-day spectacle that occupies primetime programming spots on ESPN and the NFL Network. But the draft's...

Here's A Penguin Sitting In Rays Manager Joe Maddon's Chair
Shut up, don't ask questions. It doesn't matter why the Rays had a penguin running around in their clubhouse today. All that matters is that penguins are adorable....

