ew Page 3073 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Roger To The Rescue; Clemens To Be A Yankee Again
With much credit to you crazy commenters, Roger Clemens announced today that he's returning to the Yankees. I wasn't watching the game, I have no idea what happened ... but The Sports Frog is all over it, and I'm just going to quote the Frog's garyclark:...

Free Darko Playoff Pants Party: Cavaliers Vs. Nets
The second round continues with two more matchups today. We've already previewed Suns-Spurs tonight....

I Guess You Can't Be A Successful Quarterback Until You've Been With A Man
If this week has taught us anything, it's that gay-themed pictures of quarterbacks do not hurt their career. Above is Georgia quarterback Matthew Stafford and a friend getting cozy at a secluded, romantic little spot on the infield at Talladega. Hey, when the mood strikes, the mood strikes....

We Wish We Had Relatives Like This
• Saying goodbye to Josh Hancock. • The Bermanator! • Adam Morrison, raging against the machine. • The Seventh Floor Crew is now getting paid. • Joe Thomas' aunt rules. • Why do we still pay attention to George Steinbrenner? • Yes, we have a Comment Ombudsman column. • Mike Vick ... don't you ever c...

We'd Keep Our Distance From Mavs Fans This Morning
It was not a good night to be a Dallas fan last night — it really hasn't been a good year to be a fan of any Dallas sports team — but it's really not a happy experience to be Dirk Nowitzki right now ... and it probably won't be for quite some time, writes True Hoop....

NBA Blogdome: Whoa, Nellie!
What they're saying in the blogs about Golden State's first-round series win over the Mavericks ......

The View From Oracle Arena: Proof It Really Happened
Deadspin associate editor Rick Chandler was at the Oracle Arena in Oakland last night to watch the Golden State Warriors finish off the Dallas Mavericks. Here's his account of the experience....

Crunch Time For The Warriors ... And Their Fans
Well, all right, kids, we think you probably agree with us when we say that if the Warriors can’t clinch their series against the Mavericks in that Thunderdome, they’re not likely to sneak out a Game 7 in Dallas. So tonight is, for all intents and purposes, the deciding game. And it’s the biggest ni...

Five Minutes With Jeremy Hotz
Introducing Standing Room Only, a new feature in which Deadspin associate editor Rick Chandler pulls a stand-up comedian off of the street, briefly interrogates him about sports in a dimly lit room, then sets him free. Today, it's Ottawa's own Jeremy Hotz....

Behold, The Power Of Beer
You scoffed when Brewers' fans predicted big things for their team this season. But then they rolled out the Mighty 12-Person Beer Bong, and, well, who's laughing now, bitches?...

Please Don't Let This Series Ever End
It is clear, at this point, that the Mavericks-Warriors series is hazardous to the health of anyone happening to be watching at home. What a travesty that these beautiful, crazed, maddening games are ending so late; it's impossible to watch this series and not think the NBA might be the most league ...

Golden State's Chance To Make History (And Probably Kill Cuban)
Imagine the ramifications if, perchance, the Warriors eliminate the Mavericks tonight. First off, poor Dirk Nowitzki might never show his face in public again, or at least not around his coach. We'll have proof that the Warriors sold their souls to the devil. And Don Nelson will have his final, brut...

In The '90s, They'd Make A Poster Of Anything
A reader on vacation in Sanibel Island, Fla., stumbled into a sports bar where the above poster was prominently displayed....

Officiating Roundup: Kingsley Gets A Red Card
Poor Kingsley. Even though he has the wise foresight to wear pants, the mascot was still unceremoniously tossed from the stadium on Monday during a Premiere League soccer match in London. We for one wouldn't stand for such treatment, Kingsley! You've got a lawsuit here....

Pac Man Would Like His Job Again Please
For all the big apology full-page newspaper ads he has placed, Pac Man Jones isn't quite ready to give up the ghost just yet: He's appealing his year-long suspension to NFL commissioner Roger Goodell....

Fear The Beard
We never really noticed it until Monday afternoon, when KNBR Radio's Ted Robinson brought it up, but Baron Davis' stellar play against the Mavericks so far might be the best point guard performance by a beard since Walt Frazier led the Knicks to the NBA title in 1973. Sure, other beards have perform...

Corpse Of Steinbrenner Still Has Employees Who Use Fax Machines
Look out, Yankees! George Steinbrenner is filing some strongly worded memos!...

Randy Moss To The Patriots. We Still Don't Believe It.
As we await the inevitable Bill Simmons column about this — Five Tool Tool goes ahead and sums it up for us — we continue to watch our mind boggle over the notion of Randy Moss playing for the Patriots. We've never found Moss as annoying as, say, Terrell Owens, but he's hardly what we think of when ...

The Seventh Floor Crew Takes Over The NFL
At the end of the first round of the NFL Draft on Saturday, the defending NFC champion Chicago Bears drafted tight end Greg Olsen. If you don't recognize Olsen's name, you can hark back to the halcyon days of November 2005, when Olsen dropped some beats as a member of the Seventh Floor Crew. (He's n...

You Can't Stop Barbaro, You Can Only Hope To Put Him Down
Expect, in the next week, Madison Square Garden to be haunted by the ghost of a rather pissed Barbaro; the overtime in the Rangers-Sabres game yesterday caused the Barbaro documentary to be postponed and rescheduled for the vastly unworthy CNBC this Friday. Jeez, why don't you just put the damned th...