f Page 3627 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bill Romanowski Just Can't Quit You
With inflation being what it is, we feel that we have to be very prudent with our entertainment dollar. That's why we will only see new movies with the following fun synopsis:...

Leftovers: Still Suffering Yady Flashbacks?
• Is Aaron Heilman going to be OK? [Metsquire] • Help this kid out with his college football coaches survey. [WSU.edu] • So, is there any real legal action possible in the Big Lead-Schrutebag standoff? [Sports Law Blog] • Make Devin Hester stop singing, please. [WBRS Sports Blog] • What's the deal w...

Blue Jays Not Afraid To Have Fun With Banned Cartoonish Violence
Well, maybe Canadians are too iffy about the violent striking of children to let the now infamous Frank Thomas pillow commercial hit the air, but that doesn't mean the Blue Jays can't still have some fun with it....

Hank Aaron Is Doing Barry Bonds No Favors
After a few months of grumbling from Barry Bonds about the fact that he hadn't been contacted by the current home run champ, Hank Aaron finally spoke up yesterday and made it clear that he has no intention of helping Bonds out or showing up when/if he breaks the record....

Pac Man Jones Will Take A Year Off
This might ultimately be for the betterment of the league, but man, it's gonna make 2007 considerably less fun around here....

Michael Irvin, Assaulting Contractors
We haven't had a good Michael Irvin story in a while, and, frankly, we've missed him. (He's John Rocker's buddy, after all.) Anyway, this is a relatively minor key for him, but we've been so forlorn without him that we're including it, regardless: Irvin has been accused of assaulting a contractor....

Look At All The Dumb Athletes!
Every year, as the NFL Draft approaches, the results of each player's Wunderlic scores inevitably leak out. This appears to serve only one purpose: To allow us to mock athletes for being so stupid. This is, we believe, a perfectly healthy aspect of being a sports fan; we are so cognizant of our phys...

Don't Piss Off Jon Bon Jovi
You know, we haven't decided if Jon Bon Jovi's part-ownership of the Arena League's Philadelphia Soul makes the league more interesting, or less. On the one hand, a "rock star" who writes about just the perfect karaoke song owns a sports franchise and screams and yells from the luxury booth. On the ...

Ladies And Gents, It's The NHL Playoffs
And you thought we forgot about hockey! Canuck, please!...

Leftovers: Welcome To Milwaukee!
• The Indians and Angels will play in Milwaukee. So, which team does the Jumbotron say to root for during "Take Me Out To The Ballgame?" [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel] • A look at a possible new Cubs owner. [CNBC] • Here's why Jesus bailed on Tiger Woods. [Five Tool Tool] • Minnesota football players ...

Another Way To Assure Your Child A Life Of Misery
In an example of creative nomenclature that could only have come from Ohio, a couple has named their child "Tressel Hayes Huffines."...

ESPN Has Some Hamster Problems As Well
We've been using Yahoo for all our fantasy games for the last, oh, 10 years, so we weren't quite abreast of what was happening with ESPN's Fantasy Games, but it appears they're having all kinds of problems....

Tiger, Or The No Name?
In almost every sport other than golf, we are conditioned to root for the underdog. When it comes down to the final moments, when two competitors face off for the ultimate prize, we feel compelled to get behind the guy trying to win his first title, rather than watching the old champion get another ...

Jesus Wins The Masters
I'd like to credit Zach Johnson for the win, but he keeps giving all the credit to Jesus. Hey, he won it, he gets to choose where the credit goes....

LeftoverDome...
• The Big Lead is back up. I guess Cowherd doesn't do his show on weekends? Enjoy it today, just in case the path of destruction picks back up tomorrow. [The Big Lead] • Don't you think the Temple Owls have enough problems, Philadelphia Eagles? [Philly.com] • Congratulations to the Michigan State Sp...

Phil Mickelson Is Not A Wooden-Shafted Legend
I had no idea that song had words. I liked it better before I discovered that earlier in the week ... and I didn't like it much then. It's nothing personal, but I want to beat that guy to death with a 9-iron....

Golfer Of The Week: Elsie McLean
Short of Tiger Woods winning the green jacket and celebrating by making love to Phil Mickelson's wife on the front porch of Butler Cabin while Jim Nantz describes every detail with awed reverence, we'll not be seeing anything this cool at The Masters today. 102-year-old Elsie McLean made a hole-in-o...

A Slight Departure From Billy Packer
With the NCAA tournament gone, and CBS putting Billy Packer back in his cryogenic chamber for 11 months, I thought we were entitled to some commentators with more of a sense of joy....

LeftoverDome...
• Keith Hernandez is going to revolutionize Major League scouting with his theories about first names that are also names of cities. [Yelling Louder] • The most complete breakdown of Joel Zumaya that you will find anywhere. [Extrapolater] • Phoenix begs for an MLS team. Phoenix must be a happening p...
