f Page 3676 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Free Darko Previews: Kobe Bryant
As established, we're dangerously close to the start of the NBA season, with all its drama storylines and sturm und drang and months of madness. To us, part of the beauty of the NBA is that its focus, while ultimately on the team, falls on the individual. The plight of one player becomes an epic t...
They May Take Our Lives, But They'll Never Take OUR PENIS!
Indiana police and Purdue campus security will be keeping a sharp eye on the student section at Ross Ade Stadium on Saturday. Why? This letter, received by the Purdue student newspaper on Tuesday, should explain things:...
How Freddie Spent His Weekend
In case you were wondering what former Philadelphia Eagles shitball Freddie Mitchell is up to ... he's out taunting fans at UCLA games from the stands! Hey, sure beats playing; we understand, Freddie....
The Extremely Serious Flag Football Team
Everybody has a great "Rec league opponent who takes the game WAY too seriously" story unless, of course, you are that rec league opponent who takes the game way too seriously, in which case, we're sorry, we'll try harder, we need to focus, yeah, you were open on that play, we know....
Matt Leinart Produces Spawn
We'd like to formally welcome Cole Leinart, son of Buzzsaw quarterback Matt Leinart and former USC basketball player Brynn Cameron, to this rotating orb we call earth. Cole Cameron Leinart was born Tuesday night in California, and Leinart was there, which was nice, because he's not gonna be around f...
Leftovers: It's Almost Like The Shoes Are Cheap Or Something
• Stephon Marbury is injured ... with foot problems. [New York Post] • Athletic controversy at NYU! Cool! [NYU News] • Some more thoughts on Halloween costumes, if you're into that. [Fox Sports] • They have marathons in Antarctica. Yow. [Los Angeles Times] • Look, Drew Bledsoe has a blog! [TonyHomo....
Get Away From Me, Marathoners!
This gentleman is Paul Kapellas, and he lives in Chicago....
Lynn Swann Brings Many Skills To The Political Table
Not to bring up politics again, but as many as you know, former Steelers Hall of Famer Lynn Swann is running for governor of Pennsylvania. As anyone who has ever spent time in the general vicinity of the great city of Pittsburgh, part of your duties as political candidate is to play beer pong with y...
Like A Bat Out Of Hell, We'll Be GONE When The Morning Comes!
Because we are a badass road cannon of destruction, we are zooming through the Midwest this week in a silver Chevy Cobalt. (We went to a motocross event in Taylorville, Ill., over the weekend and showed up in this car; this in no way caused us to be mocked, nope.) It's looking incredibly unlikely ...
FreeDarko Previews The NBA Season
As established, we're dangerously close to the start of the NBA season, with all its drama storylines and sturm und drang and months of madness. To us, part of the beauty of the NBA is that its focus, while ultimately on the team, falls on the individual. The plight of one player becomes an epic tal...
You Will Only Spill Your Blood For Me!
It's important for a high school football coach to have his priorities in order. That order?...
Jeff Suppan Will Win For You, But He Will Not Let You Clone Him
So since we've been in the Midwest this week, we've appreciated the primal pleasure of a good political attack ad. Most of the races in New York aren't close, so everyone's all nicey-nice in their ads. Not so in Missouri, where there's not only a brutal Senate battle between Jim Talent and Claire Mc...
Ben Roethlisberger Falls To Pieces
We don't mean to imply that Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger is suffering from an alarmingly high number of ailments right now, but we think we saw this sign on a telephone pole outside our current Mattoon dwelling earlier today....
Leftovers: Lettin' 'Em Fly In Louisville
• You know, it really is fun to shoot paintballs at unsuspecting people. [Louisville Courier-Journal] • When Shaq and Carl Monday get together, man, that fur will fly. [With Leather] • How the Madden franchise has changed the NFL. [Escapist Magazine] • Why everyone's so obsessed with Jim Leyland's s...
Well, That Didn't Take Long At All
Not that you couldn't see this coming, but we'll confess, it's somewhat sooner than we necessarily expected....
He's Got Some Great Open-Field Moves
We did not see this over the weekend, but apparently, after California's win over Washington on Saturday, Golden Bears running back Marshawn Lynch got a hold of the motorized stretcher cart and went to town. This is yet another reason, as we all know, we need the bullpen car back....
We Have Ways Of Making Your Mascot Talk
Oh, those crazy Ivy Leaguers. What won't they do in the name of ribald gridiron revelry?...
Re-Examining The Shotgun Formation
Castro Valley, Calif.'s reign as Deranged Youth Sports Capital of the U.S. lasted exactly 24 hours. Today Philadelphia wrestles away the title with determination and panache, as one of its wonderfully colorful youth football parents sets the bar impossibly high. Let's look in, shall we?...
That'll Be All, Bill
You know, it's funny: The Dallas Cowboys' season appears to be disintegrating, and even though Terrell Owens had to go so far as to try to kill himself to derail the team, he seems to be the least of their problems....
Leftovers: No More Strikes!
• New labor deal means baseball will have to find all kinds of new ways to annoy their fans. We have faith in them. [Associated Press] • The Kenny Rogers only scuffs balls at home theory? Doesn't make a lot of sense. [Baseball Prospectus] • Hey, someone noticed that this World Series is halfway inte...