f Page 3688 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
That, Friends, Is A Lot Of Funk
In a world of uncertainty, the dancing fat man is a distinct pleasure worth cherishing. Do not underestimate the dancing fat Clemson fan: He's, in fact, quite nimble. You might think it cheap and/or easy, but we value the fundamental certainty of gyrating flab, and we think you probably should too....
Leftovers: Maurice's "Profile"
• Unfortunately, this is what Maurice Clarett's trading card looks like now. [Ohio Department Of Rehabilitation And Correction] • Etan Thomas fires back at right-wing Washington columnist who accused him of having a poor work ethic. Unfortunately, he doesn't do it through poetry. [Wizards Front Offi...
Cultural Oddsmaker: The Irish Menace Of The Ryder Cup
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to say hi....
Must Be Sittin' In The Front Row!
Earlier this week, we heard rumors of a fan and his girlfriend / wife / mistress / crossdresser, while in the top level of the mostly empty RFK Stadium, uh, enjoying themselves in a way that you can't exactly enjoy yourself in the crowded Yankee Stadium bleachers. We weren't going to run anything ab...
Once Again, Bobby Knight Helps Us Keep Things In Perspective
Among delighted viewers of Saturday's college football win by Oregon over Oklahoma was one Robert Montgomery Knight, and frankly we're surprised it took him this long to say something about it. In Jan. 2003, the host Sooners beat Knight's Texas Tech, 69-64 in overtime, after two clock controversies ...
Week 3, Previewed The Tecmo Way
When we go through our Friday selection of various weekend previews, we hit the usual suspects (King, Simmons, Zimmerman, O.J.) and then always make sure to drop in on The Ex-Burgher's Tecmo Bowl previews. Essentially, he uses the Tecmo Bowl prototype (with updated rosters!) from the Tecmo Super B...
"Shh ... Don't Tell Him ... Let's Just Watch Him Go"
This, friends, is UNLV coach Mike Sanford. Two weeks ago, his Rebels lost to Iowa State 16-10, on a close call late. UNLV's wide receiver was ruled out of bounds, and Iowa State left the field with the win....
Leftovers: Those Wacky Namaths
• Joe Namath's daughter wants to kiss you. Well, if you have money and are married. [New York Post] • The Bengals must be playing well: Bootsy Collins is back again. [Channel Cincinnati] • Phantom stolen gnome returns for Steelers game. OK, that was a weird sentence we wrote just there. [Don Chavez]...
Only Fake Porn Can Make The Ryder Cup Worthwhile
We're not really sure why we're supposed to care about the Ryder Cup. First off, it's golf: It's the furthest thing from a team sport, and no matter how hard they try to convince us that we're rooting for "America," it's hard to inspire enthusiasm to root for the home country to avoid the bunkers wh...
Chad Johnson, Perhaps Unaware Of His Surroundings
So remember that hit Chad Johnson took at the end of the Bengals-Browns game last week? Well, over at The Fanhouse, the omnipotent Mighty MJD found the video of Johnson's postgame "discussion" with reporters. We think maybe he wasn't quite ready for an interview yet....
"Hey, Like, Old Guy ... It's Your Turn"
This is an actual photo, taken last weekend, from the Iowa-Iowa State pregame last Saturday....
Do Not Disrespect Joey Porter's Dogs
Some difficulty for Pittsburgh Steelers unhinged linebacker Joey Porter this morning; apparently two of his dogs — a pit bull and a mastiff — escaped from Porter's residence and killed a miniature horse at a nearby farm. The horse, being miniature, was actually smaller than each of the dogs, so that...
Leftovers: Lamenting The U
• Kind of weird not to have Miami in the top 25, isn't it? [The Sports Oasis] • It's football in the Arctic. [Anchorage Daily News] • We were wondering why NBC's "Football Night In America" left us unfulfilled. [Slate] • Look, ladies, you like football too! [The Female Fan] • It's a song about Xavie...
Boxer Told To Knock It Off With The Smurf Crap
This gentleman is named Arthur Abraham, and he's the IBF middleweight champion, whatever the hell that means anymore. If you're looking at his hat and thinking, "Gee, that kind of looks like a Smurf hat," well, you're right: That's exactly what it is....
Find Strength Through "Pre-Milk!"
Because we feel like part of our job is to inform you, the blog reader, about all the different ways to artificially maximize your body's potential, we introduce you to the newest big thing in performance enhancement: cow afterbirth!...
He Actually Will Wear A Leather Helmet
Need to be reminded of just how old you really are? Old Falcons kicker Morten Andersen, considered one of the best kickers of all time, last made a Pro Bowl in 1996. The guy was an All-American kicker for Michigan State in 1981....
Leftovers: Voting For Peter
• You can vote Peter Gammons as Boston's best "blues act." Go to it! [Boston Music Awards] • Barcelona is available to the highest bidder. [IHT] • Jay Mariotti, taking "credit" for the White Sox losing ways. [Tom Fornelli] • This guy's mom used to know West Virginia's coach. (Not in the Biblical sen...
The NFL Doesn't Want You To Get Drunk
So the NFL is running a contest called Take A Player To School Day, which encourages kids between the ages of 6 and 12 to apply for a player to accompany them to school....
Chris Fowler, Mrs. BodyShaping
Remember "BodyShaping?" That old ESPN show that featured, uh, people in Spandex lifting things and hopping around at a location of indistinguishable but distinctly beach-like flavor? Well, the host of that show was a woman named Jennifer Dempster, and, as MJD touched on this weekend, she recently ma...
Son, This In No Way Reflects On My Own Past Athletic Frustrations
In the grand tradition of the egg fertilizers of Mary Pierce and Todd Marinovich, we present Frank Colavecchia, the father of Rocco Colavecchia, a quarterback for Shenango High School in New Castle, Penn. Last week, Frank posed as a scout from Ohio University — to get into character, we suspect he...